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Yeah, it is a bit hard to perceive Pacey as a bad guy.
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
This week in the Deep Hurting Project, Highlander: The Source. One of the first films I watched for the Project was Highlander II: The Quickening, albeit in a cut that removed the whole "Highlanders being from another planet" thing and replaced it with something even stupider. And so, as the well of So Bad They're Horrible films runs dry on Amazon Prime, I figured, why not make the last film I watch on the platform for the Deep Hurting Project be a sequel that manages to be even worse than that one? Just for full disclosure, this apparently follows the TV series' continuity and I did not watch that.
And they start the movie with a list of three rules about Immortals: they can only die if you cut off their head, they gain power by killing other Immortals and they can have no children. Notably, they leave out a lot of other rules, like how they can only fight one on one, how they can't fight on consecrated ground, and, oh yeah, why they're even fighting at all.
ORBITAL WOBBLE DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT!
Why is Godzilla in this world?
What is Duncan even doing in this abandoned office building?
So, Duncan got shot. Guess that means he has to leave wherever this shithole is even supposed to be, right? Or do the other rules they didn't
How does he know to tell the computer "there can be only one"? And how does it even work, since, if I recall correctly, voice recognition passwords like that tend to rely on a specific person's voice, and why does Duncan even have a computer that allows him to hack into the VR Zoom calls that these random guys are supposed to be having?
Is there a reason this guy in white body paint and half a Pyramid Head helmet is randomly fighting Duncan? Or why he moves like that one guy in Guardians who showed super speed by suddenly teleporting to another place and then just moving slowly?
So, if I'm interpreting this scene accurately, and I'm not 100% sure such a thing is even possible, the half-Pyramid-Head guy cuts off Duncan's head and this causes a shitton of sparks to overload what looks like The Space Needle, causing the building he's in to explode and Duncan to walk away.
"THIS IS THE END OF TIME!"
So the half-Pyramid Head guy is named The Guardian?
So, does this make two or three times Duncan "died"?
And why is he in London all of a sudden?
So, the Watchers, who, if my research is accurate, are a clandestine organization spread throughout the entire world with a stupefyingly large number of members, have been all but wiped out. I think I'm beginning to see why this is considered a worse movie than The Quickening.
And, speaking of my research, apparently, Duncan was married to a woman named Kate, who apparently died before the events of this movie. Even though she was also an Immortal. And apparently, there was a long enough gap for him to get remarried to and separate from another woman named Anna, who apparently narrates this film.
And in addition to that, apparently, that wasn't Duncan who got killed by The Guardian, but some random immortal named Zai Jie and the half-a-Pyramid-Head thing he was wearing was decapitation-proof armour. Although why it vanishes once The Quickening happens is a riddle for the ages.
Goddammit, Denis Villenueve's Baron Harkonnen is lazy and hard to see!
And fuck you for your mocking use of "Who Wants To Live Forever."
THIS IS APPARENTLY NOT ACTUALLY A RIPOFF OF THIS IS SPARTA!
So, if the Immortals get closer to The Source, they lose their immortality?
How does Joe, one of the Watchers, whose job is to observe the Immortals and tell their true story once the Prize is claimed, not know that the only way to kill an immortal is to behead them? Why is he dumb enough to think just shooting The Guardian will suffice?
And now, they're ripping off "Princes of the Universe."
How the fuck is Saturn closer to the Sun than the Earth?
And apparently, now that Duncan's virtually at the source, he suddenly becomes more powerful, despite it making other Immortals mortal.
And here's the kicker: the whole premise that the rest of the fucking franchise is apparently bullshit. The Contest upon which literally every other entry in the franchise is functionally meaningless. The Prize is the ability to bear and conceive children. Fuck this movie, and fuck this franchise, and no fucking wonder that there's been bugger-all in the franchise since then. As far as I can tell, the only new Highlander media since this movie was released has been three graphic novels, all of which appear to follow the movie's continuity and not the TV series' continuity.
For the record, while this is likely the last movie in the Project to be on Amazon Prime (at least for a while), I do intend to keep it going. In fact, next week, I plan to pick up a copy of the 2020 remake of The Grudge at the library, and after that, I've got quite a few films on free streaming service Tubi. And here's a list I made up after cross-referencing the films on TVTropes' "So Bad It's Horrible" film list with what's available for free on various streaming services.
Comedy:
Amazing Bulk
Best Night Ever
Birdemic 2: The Resurrection
Game Therapy
InAPPropriate Comedy
Joe Piscopo: A Night at Club Piscopo
Surf School
Drama:
Hangmen
Paparazzi Princess
Pimp
Sunday School Musical
Titanic II
Turn it Up
Horror:
Alice in Murderland
Arachnicide
Bear
Blood ORgy of the She-Devils
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch II
Creepozoids
Curse of Pirate Death
Destination: Infestation
Hobgoblins
Monster
Raiders of the Lost Shark
The Ripper
Shark Exorcist
Snakes on a Train
The Source
Sci-Fi:
R.O.T.O.R.
Transmorphers
Youth:
Cry Wilderness
Santa with Muscles
Tentacolino
Zoo Wars
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
Loaded with actors I love, but the plot is slow, and the ending is absurd (on purpose, but still ...). It had so much promise, but in the end it was 2 hours I'd prefer to have back.
(September 27, 2021 at 12:34 pm)HappySkeptic Wrote: "The Dead Don't Die" on Netflix
Loaded with actors I love, but the plot is slow, and the ending is absurd (on purpose, but still ...). It had so much promise, but in the end it was 2 hours I'd prefer to have back.