Men Women Sex and Temptation

[downbeatplumb]

That's true. Women seem to have a Richter Scale on adultery. For men, cheating is cheating, regardless of her feelings for the other man (a woman seeking to confess and make amends for a mistake would generally not be served well by the he-meant-nothing-to-me line). For women, cheating seems to range from the low end which would be a fling he had with a stranger in some other town and he'll never see her again to the high end where he's in love with the other woman and is ready to run off with her. She may still divorce him over the "low end" of cheating but will generally be more upset the more emotionally attached her husband is to the other woman.

My wife would cut my balls off if i ever strayed, she has made this plain.

[Anomalocaris]

That's true. Women seem to have a Richter Scale on adultery. For men, cheating is cheating, regardless of her feelings for the other man (a woman seeking to confess and make amends for a mistake would generally not be served well by the he-meant-nothing-to-me line). For women, cheating seems to range from the low end which would be a fling he had with a stranger in some other town and he'll never see her again to the high end where he's in love with the other woman and is ready to run off with her. She may still divorce him over the "low end" of cheating but will generally be more upset the more emotionally attached her husband is to the other woman.

My wife would cut my balls off if i ever strayed, she has made this plain.

You just have to clarify what is in it for her if you stray.

[Mister Agenda]

That's true. Women seem to have a Richter Scale on adultery. .......

.... She may still divorce him over the "low end" of cheating but will generally be more upset the more emotionally attached her husband is to the other woman.

Of what use is the richter scale to earthquake preparedness if magnitude 2 entails the same level of devastation as magnitude 9.5?

May still divorce him over the "low end".

[Jackalope]

That's true. Women seem to have a Richter Scale on adultery. .......

.... She may still divorce him over the "low end" of cheating but will generally be more upset the more emotionally attached her husband is to the other woman.

Of what use is the richter scale to earthquake preparedness if magnitude 2 entails the same level of devastation as magnitude 9.5?

Magnitude 2 rarely involves being murdered in your sleep, or having your Johnson lopped off.

[Rahul]

That's true. Women seem to have a Richter Scale on adultery. For men, cheating is cheating, regardless of her feelings for the other man (a woman seeking to confess and make amends for a mistake would generally not be served well by the he-meant-nothing-to-me line). For women, cheating seems to range from the low end which would be a fling he had with a stranger in some other town and he'll never see her again to the high end where he's in love with the other woman and is ready to run off with her. She may still divorce him over the "low end" of cheating but will generally be more upset the more emotionally attached her husband is to the other woman.

True. It's gotta be evolutionary based. That's the only way it makes sense with the differences between men and women and how they react to cheating partners.

[Cinjin]

There are 3 billion women in the world. There are women who are better conversationalists than your wife, or prettier, or funnier, or better in bed, or whatever. You knew that and you married your wife anyway.

Now you've met one such woman. Nothing has changed. You married your wife knowing such women existed. And guess what - there are women better in some ways than this new one.

Grow up and honor your commitment.

Everyone who has ever gotten a divorce needs to grow up?
Two people have to live an unhappy life because YOU think that "grown ups" should just accept their lot?
Furthermore, I've done nothing. Is an adult not allowed to ask for advice for fear he might be told to "grow up?"

Stop spending time with other women. Even if it doesn't go to the physical, you're still cheating on your wife by giving away time and attention that she deserves, and that would likely improve your relationship if given to your wife. Most married men should stick to male friends.

I didn't plan this conversation with this woman. I didn't have a clandestine meeting with her. I didn't cheat on anyone, nor did she offer me a stay in her vagina. Calm down little sheep, men are allowed to talk to women here in the real world.

Write a list for us of all the good things about your wife.

If you need change, change a room in your house or take up a new hobby.

Biblically, a man and wife become one flesh. Personally I think there's a lot more to that than meets the eye. I believe that if you're not happy with your wife, you're really not happy with yourself.

Biblically?!? If I did what was biblical, I'd kill a gay man, stone my daughter, and have sex with my sister. Please keep your immoral religion out of my thread please. Furthermore, I've known many christians (even preachers) who have gotten divorced and been very happy with their life.

Divorce shouldn't even be a thought since there's a child involved and there's no abuse involved.

Your opinion is noted ... and rejected. Universal rules like that should have no place in the highly complicated matters of relationships. People don't fit into a nice neat little box and only a brainwashed religious buffoon would follow such self-imposed laws without consideration.

[bladevalant546]

Most of the best advice has been said. I do not know you nor since I am new here relatively speaking. I would like to throw my 10 cents in to your maybe 20 bucks total that has already been given to you. I know how you feel man, life seems to love to screw with your mind, best thing I would do is retreat and communicate and find the root to the emotions you are feeling. I know from my own struggles with various emotions, often times they are rooted in almost irrelevant past regrets, boredom or even resentments based on lack of thrill. I think it is good advice to seek out other opinions because people look in can see more than people looking out. I say follow getting advice to better communication with your wife, that way you can be sure of what you are really feeling whatever that might be. There is always a right way to do things and always a wrong way to do things, however life often times makes that hard a confusing. It is good you are seeking advice, it shows you care for yourself and most importantly your wife. BTW it is a silver dime which is why this is long.

[CapnAwesome]

How much is what you are going to do hurt your wife? In a monogamous relationship (and other relationships are perfectly fine) it seems terribly selfish to cause such pain to your partner for what is ultimately little gain to yourself. Talk to a therapist before you do something stupid and irreversible. Or if you have excellent communication with your spouse talk to her about it.

[pineapplebunnybounce]

Cinjin, I want to preface by saying that I'm horrible about relationships and being very young and not married and not spending much time with kids, you should know how much my advice is worth.

I want to say that I truly truly would want my parents to be happy than to be together and not happy. I am in a position to know this for sure. I also do not have good relations with one of my parent, so that definitely contributes to how I feel about this issue. Of course I was a teenager when I first realized how I feel about this, I don't know how I would've taken it if I were younger. I don't like that my parents make unnecessary sacrifices just to keep me happy, I don't want them to be slightly less human just because they're parents. I don't accept that parents should throw away everything to keep their kids happy, it doesn't quite make sense to me.

However, I don't think you should cheat. I wouldn't be able to respect my parents if they did that. I think of course you can talk about it, discuss it, think about it, but be honest. Betrayal is very hard to get over if it comes from someone you love, some people can't get over it at all. It's not worth it.

[Minimalist]

My wife would cut my balls off if i ever strayed, she has made this plain.

You just have to clarify what is in it for her if you stray.

Reminds me of.....

A husband and wife were having a fine dining experience at their exclusive country club when this stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she’ll see him later and walks away.

His wife glares at him and says, “Who was that?!”

“Oh,” replies the husband, “she’s my mistress.”

“Well that’s the last straw,” says the wife. “I’ve had enough, I want a divorce. I am going to hire the most aggressive, meanest divorce lawyer I can find and make your life miserable.”

“I can understand that,” replies her husband, “but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more wintering in Key West, or the Caribbean, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Mercedes in the garage, no more country club, and we’ll have to sell the 26-room house and move to two smaller homes. But the decision is yours.”

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

“Who’s that with Jim?” asks the wife.

“That’s his mistress,” says her husband.

She replies, “Ours is prettier.”