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What's everyone up to right now?
RE: What's everyone up to right now?
Had some delicious Greek food for dinner, and now just relaxing
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RE: What's everyone up to right now?
Doing my taxes. I hate it because it's the same every year. I have to go down the list of free e-Filers one at a time, and after filling everything out I find out either, a) they won't file the return because I have no income, b) they don't offer to file the property tax refund form, which is the only reason I file, or c) they actually charge a godawful amount for filing despite advertising as being free.

I think I started 3 hours ago. Finally found one that let me file only the property tax refund form for like $10, which I can live with.
[Image: extraordinarywoo-sig.jpg]
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RE: What's everyone up to right now?
Busy evening. Played a community band concert at a seniors' residence, shopped for a carpentry gadget, and drilled 52 holes (4 rows of 13) in the uprights for the cabinet I'm building (using the aforementioned gadget).

Currently relaxing with a mug of homemade mead.

(July 18, 2018 at 6:58 pm)*Deidre* Wrote: Had some delicious Greek food for dinner, and now just relaxing

Nom!  I  Heart  Greek food.  What items were on the menu?
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RE: What's everyone up to right now?




Metaphorically speaking, of course.
"I was thirsty for everything, but blood wasn't my style" - Live, "Voodoo Lady"
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RE: What's everyone up to right now?
More bad news for poor old Linda next door who ran over her beloved Daxxy a couple of weeks ago.

This week she wrote her car off because she couldn't remember who gives way to who!

Her husband's in a poor state health wise, so if she can't drive, then both their independence is gone ...
Growing old is a bastard...
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: What's everyone up to right now?
Sounds like a blessing in disguise.
No independence is better than car crash death.

(July 19, 2018 at 2:43 am)KevinM1 Wrote:



Metaphorically speaking, of course.
That brings back memories.
I remember as a kid thinking it was strange what that man was wearing on the steps.
Why was he wearing a sexy woman's outfit? :-)




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RE: What's everyone up to right now?
Waiting for the caffeine surge.
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.
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RE: What's everyone up to right now?
(July 18, 2018 at 1:26 pm)emjay Wrote:
Quote:Bullshit.

Take it from someone who has just been through chemo and radiation: it's not that hard and it's not that scary.

It's a bit awkward talking about this with you, since you've been through it... and judging by what you've said.. from your questions about smoking, I get the impression yours wasn't smoking related? Which if the case makes it even more awkward, because if it's the case for me, it will have basically been self-imposed, since I smoke/d. So yeah, awkward I guess is the word for it... somehow disrespectful... like nothing I could say or speculate about it could do it justice and whether I'd even have the right to, since if true it would be no-one's fault but by own, and also, because I'm a worrier so I always tend to 'catastrophise'... so again, awkward if it turns out there was little risk of actual cancer, at least immediately. The thing they're testing is 'leukoplakia'... which is something in the mouth, caused by smoking and mostly cured by not smoking, that can turn cancerous but not necessarily, so Friday's test results, are to find out what it is in that regard, but with the doctor's not particularly worried at this point in time.

Talking about this isn't disrespectful to me so don't worry about that.

Even if you feel like (if you were diagnosed with smoking-related cancer) you did it to yourself, there's no reason to give up on yourself and not treat your disease.  Even if you jump off a balcony and break your legs you can still get yourself the medical help necessary to mend your legs.  Cancer is the same.  Whether you did it to yourself or not you can still get treatment.  Don't give up on yourself, emjay.  Take it day by day and don't think too far into the future.

I've also become very very familiar with catastrophizing since my diagnosis, but have also gotten counselling to help myself work through those sorts of thoughts.  If you find yourself dwelling on those kinds of catastrophic thoughts I'd advise you to seek out a counselor or therapist to work with.  If you are able to find one quickly they could also help you to reframe cigarettes so that they become less emotionally desirable for you.  But that sort of help is personal and can be insurance-dependent so it's really up to your situation and self awareness about whether that would be a good tool for you or not.

Quote:
Quote:May I ask how you idealize them?

Just the same ways any smoker does... of a pleasant and satisfying taste... and of something that's there for you through thick and thin. Basically the great smoker's delusion... quite similar to what Homer Simpson said about alcohol "the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems" Wink... something that, though it can be intellectually known that it is a delusion... that it causes stress and then relieve the same stress it causes, all the while octopus-like attaching itself to all areas of you life as triggers... is nonetheless emotionally powerful... especially when you're impulsive and addiction-prone like me. So that's part of why I felt I needed this drug, Champix, when others might have been able to quit without it and or in different ways, more will-power orientated ways... as I've tried to quit many times before in those other ways, without any enduring success.

That's interesting.  As a non-smoker when I think about cigarettes I think of how expensive they are and what other uses I could put that money to rather than something you literally set fire to and burn away, I think of how unhealthy they are, how they affect your lung capacity and what diseases they predispose you to, I think of how badly they make a smoker smell, how they color your teeth, give you bad breath, how many people I know whose houses have been burnt down because a smoker didn't properly put their cigarette out...

It never occurs to me to think about a smoker's emotional connection to cigarettes or that they would actually like the taste.

Quote:Basically when faced with a temptation there's ultimately two ways of resisting that temptation; either through a) will-power and abstinence, which is not easy if you're particularly impulsive, as I am, or b) by changing how you perceive the temptation, making it less desirable, or ideally, completely undesirable.

I heard Jim Parsons (Sheldon from Big Bang Theory) describe how he quit smoking once.  He said that he had gone to the doctor and his doctor had asked him whether he enjoyed smoking.  He answered that of course he enjoyed it, if he didn't he would quit.  The doctor replied that they didn't think he actually did enjoy it.  After all, a person who enjoys wine doesn't get drunk every day in an effort to enjoy wine, they have one or two glasses and savor them.  So they asked Jim to try treating cigarettes like wine and see if he can savor them rather than just suck them down and "get drunk" every day on them.  So he tried it, and he got to the point where he was smoking one cigarette a day.  Then he got off a plane one evening and went to get a taxi or go to his car or something and he realized that he hadn't had his cigarette yet that day and that he should stop and smoke it.  But then he thought that was silly, he didn't HAVE to smoke it, so he went about his business and was done smoking.

Perhaps in your effort to quit you might think about ways to reframe smoking for yourself in a similar way to how Jim did.  Rather than think of them as something that is there for you through thick and thin, could you think about them as an emotional crutch you can outgrow?  Can you think of ways in which you can replace the urge to smoke during stressful times with something other, more healthy, behavior?

It seems to me like you want to become the sort of ex-smoker that no longer even wants to smoke, but it also seems to me that there is some emotional component that you might still need to work on to get to that place so that when those stressful times return that you have other tools you can use to get through it rather than going back to cigarettes.  Does that make sense?
Teenaged X-Files obsession + Bermuda Triangle episode + Self-led school research project = Atheist.
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RE: What's everyone up to right now?
(July 18, 2018 at 11:38 pm)Astreja Wrote: Busy evening.  Played a community band concert at a seniors' residence, shopped for a carpentry gadget, and drilled 52 holes (4 rows of 13) in the uprights for the cabinet I'm building (using the aforementioned gadget).

Currently relaxing with a mug of homemade mead.

(July 18, 2018 at 6:58 pm)*Deidre* Wrote: Had some delicious Greek food for dinner, and now just relaxing

Nom!  I  Heart  Greek food.  What items were on the menu?

We had falafel, Greek salad, spinach pie sand chicken pitas. Enough for two nights of dinners Smile

(July 19, 2018 at 7:04 am)mh.brewer Wrote: Waiting for the caffeine surge.

Same. I just bought an espresso
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RE: What's everyone up to right now?
Getting my lists together for my vacation. As usual, I depend heavily on lists and a lot of planning ahead. We head out in roughly one week and I am so excited! The jeep is getting an oil change tomorrow and we are leaving our other car at the garage since the state inspection will be due while we're away. It's an 8 year old car with 112,000 miles on it and we can actually afford to do all of the required scheduled maintenance that it needs. And since Rob puts 106 miles a day on it driving to and from work, we're hoping that we can get at least another five more years out of it before it needs replacing. I'd like to not have two vehicle payments at the same time. Once the jeep is paid off, we will look at replacing the one he drives to work. (Secretly, I'd most likely let him drive the jeep and I'd get the new car 😁).

I'm currently attempting to actually plan stuff like renting jet skis for the day. I just need to figure out where such a rental place is, once we get there. I do plan on having us all camp out at least one night on the beach, weather permitting, complete with a bonfire and s'mores.

Still trying to figure out how I am going to pack five people and all our crap, plus the stuff we'll need for an entire week for the house rental, in my vehicle. Alas, I may have to strap down a human or two on top of the luggage rack on the roof. I have blankets and plenty of duct tape so they should be nice and comfy up there for the 7 hour drive. 😹😹😹

*disclaimer - please note the sarcasm for future reference, in case anyone feels the need to try and use this humorous post against me at a later date.
Disclaimer: I am only responsible for what I say, not what you choose to understand. 
(November 14, 2018 at 8:57 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Have a good day at work.  If we ever meet in a professional setting, let me answer your question now.  Yes, I DO want fries with that.
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