RE: What's everyone up to right now?
September 14, 2013 at 5:44 pm
(This post was last modified: September 14, 2013 at 5:45 pm by Cyberman.)
Depressed. No desire to eat. No desire to do much of anything, apart from be with certain people. Not drunk though, which I suppose counts for something.
Woke up this afternoon feeling very sick and very dizzy. Seriously thought this was going to be it; dizzy spells are what my precious Sam experienced in the days right before ... 'it' ... happened.
Spent a lovely few hours shortly after waking being with my friend Shell. She'd phoned, saying she was having some trouble in a nearby town and didn't feel safe. So I rushed to meet up with her, to protect her; public transport being what it is it took the best part of an hour and a half but she was so happy to see me. I make her feel so safe. Yet still I am invisible.
Was having such a lovely time, chatting and laughing, being normal. I felt so close to her. Then, purely conversationally and matter-of-factly, as though she was telling me she was going shopping or something, she says that she's going to see her new bloke on Tuesday. Why do you girls do that?
What confuses me though is the way she came out with it and then moved straight away to some other topic of conversation, as though nothing had happened. When Sam and I first met, we couldn't stop talking about each other to everyone we knew. That spark kept blazing, if that's what sparks do, throughout our time together and, for me, burns still as brightly.
I didn't hear too much of what Shell said after that, but managed to nod and smile in the right places. I think I got away with it. If she saw the pain in my eyes, she didn't comment. I think.
Fuck, I am so mixed up.
Woke up this afternoon feeling very sick and very dizzy. Seriously thought this was going to be it; dizzy spells are what my precious Sam experienced in the days right before ... 'it' ... happened.
Spent a lovely few hours shortly after waking being with my friend Shell. She'd phoned, saying she was having some trouble in a nearby town and didn't feel safe. So I rushed to meet up with her, to protect her; public transport being what it is it took the best part of an hour and a half but she was so happy to see me. I make her feel so safe. Yet still I am invisible.
Was having such a lovely time, chatting and laughing, being normal. I felt so close to her. Then, purely conversationally and matter-of-factly, as though she was telling me she was going shopping or something, she says that she's going to see her new bloke on Tuesday. Why do you girls do that?
What confuses me though is the way she came out with it and then moved straight away to some other topic of conversation, as though nothing had happened. When Sam and I first met, we couldn't stop talking about each other to everyone we knew. That spark kept blazing, if that's what sparks do, throughout our time together and, for me, burns still as brightly.
I didn't hear too much of what Shell said after that, but managed to nod and smile in the right places. I think I got away with it. If she saw the pain in my eyes, she didn't comment. I think.
Fuck, I am so mixed up.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
I love to cook, too, but we have a fantastic local dairy that makes magnificent ice cream, so I don't often bother with that.
