Restoring Faith After a Challenge to It

[bladevalant546]

Like Ivy I struggled against my mind for years while being a christian. I had so many questions thrown my way and had nothing to show for it. In my time at Texas Bible Institute (which for the time was actually somewhat beneficial) I had my faith tested in the most terrible ways. There I discovered that Christians really were not so different from non-Christians. How I discovered this was through two key events that in my mind set in motion hibernating doubts that were like a dormant volcano that was going to fall apart. First event was after a situation with my mother who managed; being crippled and barely able to walk' fended off three would be attackers trying to enter her home. She fought them off with a wooden rolling pin suffering mild knife wounds and alot of emotional trauma. I went up and shared this in front of my class there at the bible school. I did not receive any special recognition, I was given a mere that is wonderful work of god and that was it. What made it hurtful is what happened next. Of course this was an event like most times where people would line up front and sharing "what god has done for us". After my testimony another girl (a favorite for some reason among the leadership) Told of a story about her father coming out of jail and how she is now communicating with her. They then talked about how god is working in their life, and how they are blessed. IT completely belittled my experience or atleast it felt like it let me know if i am right or wrong in my thinking.

Then came another event, we were heading to the Church service in Houston. well outside we saw a Lamborghini obviously one of the church members car. WE all commented on it and marveling at the exotic car. This foreshadowed an event that will soon follow at an altar call. The altar call was for people in financial distress or need. Upon around 10 or few more people walking up to the front. I looked up only to see them being prayed over, upon watching after service. I spoke to alot of them, and not one received any help. So the "rich" folks in the church had 500k but did not have 20k to bail anyone one person out. Not many times in my life where I really feel like something is just wrong....but that even was wrong. Not only I come from a poor family, we never received our miracle no matter how much i gave or prayed. I never heard any prayers answered for my father whom was a really good pastor who cared for people get what he deserved. In fact he got the opposite, I watched my mother suffer off and on in the hospital and never got better. I went to the church for a car....a simple car so I did not have to go into debt and all I got was "Well pray for you". I see my parents lives destroyed by medical debt all the while the he serves a church sitting on 1 million bucks.

So no I do not understand how people keep the faith. My parents still do, regardless of my fathers doubts. I think religion has produced A few decent people, but all I seen is the same greed and selfishness in religion (sometimes more so) as I see in real life. Honestly you want my opinion why they keep the faith. IT is because they are psychologically weak to depend on their selves, and come to terms that there is no loving god helping them. I think the thought scares them, so they produce cognitive dissonance. I am sorry to be so cynical, but I been in religion behind the doors for a long time. There is no magic in Christianity, and there is very little logical reason to believe a personal loving god cares.....I honestly think like I said fear and they justify by finding reasons why. *rant over*

[freedomfromforum]

So no I do not understand how people keep the faith. My parents still do, regardless of my fathers doubts. I think religion has produced A few decent people, but all I seen is the same greed and selfishness in religion (sometimes more so) as I see in real life. Honestly you want my opinion why they keep the faith. IT is because they are psychologically weak to depend on their selves, and come to terms that there is no loving god helping them. I think the thought scares them, so they produce cognitive dissonance. I am sorry to be so cynical, but I been in religion behind the doors for a long time. There is no magic in Christianity, and there is very little logical reason to believe a personal loving god cares.....I honestly think like I said fear and they justify by finding reasons why. *rant over*
(bold added by me)

Close. Reverse it - Cognitive dissonance produces the delusion.

[Ryantology]

I first called myself an atheist when I was either 17 or 18. I told my father that I simply couldn't believe that God was real anymore, and it was about as simple as that. There was no questioning of the actual religion or awareness of its subtle horrors; that didn't come until much later. His tone was dismissive and warning, one almost all of us have heard at some point: a combination of "you're just going through a phase" and "you'll go to hell".

The world was a very different place for atheists even 13 years ago. It made me feel alone and afraid. There were no atheist communities on the internet that I knew of, and I didn't, at the time, use the internet very often. I lived in Virginia, a thoroughly red state at the time. All that conspired to make me abandon this train of thought quickly, and I would actually go on to make the mistake of getting deep into Christianity for the first, and only, time of my life.

I suppose that was destined to go nowhere and it was only a matter of when, but there you go. I survived a temporary restoration of my faith, and now I feel no remorse or guilt about it. In spite of what some people enjoy telling me, I'm never going back.

[John V]

Having never had a god-belief, I'm very interested in how theists overcome challenges to their faith. I was reading this great poem by the incomparable Gerard Manley Hopkins (Irish monk poet, late 19th century):

Thou art indeed just, Lord, if I contend
With thee; but, sir, so what I plead is just.
Why do sinners’ ways prosper? and why must
Disappointment all I endeavour end?
Wert thou my enemy, O thou my friend,
How wouldst thou worse, I wonder, than thou dost
Defeat, thwart me? Oh, the sots and thralls of lust
Do in spare hours more thrive than I that spend,
Sir, life upon thy cause. See, banks and brakes
Now, leavèd how thick! lacèd they are again
With fretty chervil, look, and fresh wind shakes
Them; birds build – but not I build; no, but strain,
Time’s eunuch, and not breed one work that wakes.
Mine, O thou lord of life, send my roots rain.

and I felt very sad at his obvious pain and struggle with a faith that was really important to him (he only wrote about his God).

I really want to hear about problems with faith that were overcome and faith was restored, not about challenges that resulted in permanent loss of faith (although I imagine the former theists here might have had such challenges and had faith restored prior to becoming atheists).

Particularly: what was the problem? What challenged your faith? How did you resolve it and restore faith? Was there a difference in your faith after the resolved challenge?

I'd like to politely request that this stay on topic for at least a while, since I genuinely want to hear these stories.

Can't go into details as it involves another person, but I was once at the point of saying that I hated god for allowing something into my life. I guess what got me through it was that intellectually nothing had changed. I believed the Bible before these things. I could see no reason to change that position just because I was suffering. Years later, God worked out the situation for greater good than I would have imagined.

Jesus, God's own beloved son, prayed for the cross to be taken away if possible, and God didn't do it. Why should I be any different?

[Zazzy]

Can't go into details as it involves another person, but I was once at the point of saying that I hated god for allowing something into my life. I guess what got me through it was that intellectually nothing had changed. I believed the Bible before these things. I could see no reason to change that position just because I was suffering. Years later, God worked out the situation for greater good than I would have imagined.

Jesus, God's own beloved son, prayed for the cross to be taken away if possible, and God didn't do it. Why should I be any different?

Thank you, John- I was hoping a theist would reply. Are you saying that the problem was that you were suffering, and doubting God for not alleviating that suffering, and that the solution for you was the realization that God doesn't have to alleviate your suffering, followed by a better time in your life when you could see that God was helping all along, only you didn't realize it at the time?

Is this an accurate restatement of your experience, or am I misunderstanding?

Also, could you please comment on whether you see your faith as strengthened because of this experience?

[John V]

Thank you, John- I was hoping a theist would reply. Are you saying that the problem was that you were suffering, and doubting God for not alleviating that suffering,

The problem was that god allowed suffering into my life and I was angry about it. Not sure what you mean by "doub

and that the solution for you was the realization that God doesn't have to alleviate your suffering,

Yes, and time. It took about two years to get over it.

followed by a better time in your life when you could see that God was helping all along, only you didn't realize it at the time?

Actually, I intellectually accepted it at the time, but we're also emotional creatures, and I didn't like it.

Also, could you please comment on whether you see your faith as strengthened because of this experience?

Yes, certainly.

[Zazzy]

The problem was that god allowed suffering into my life and I was angry about it. Not sure what you mean by "doub

This is much clearer. So there was no doubt about whether God existed, only anger at him. Interesting. I always thought a challenge to faith would be one of belief, and now I see that was erroneous thinking.

Actually, I intellectually accepted it at the time, but we're also emotional creatures, and I didn't like it.

So you were hostile because God's solution for you wasn't one you liked, but later you came to accept it and see it was the right solution?

Yes, certainly.

Yes, certainly your faith was strengthened, or yes, certainly you'll comment on it?

This is helpful to me. Thank you.

[John V]

So you were hostile because God's solution for you wasn't one you liked, but later you came to accept it and see it was the right solution?

That's fairly accurate. Again, I intellectually accepted that it was correct at the time - god would obviously know better than man. I rejected it emotionally.

Yes, certainly your faith was strengthened, or yes, certainly you'll comment on it?

My faith was strengthened, and also that of the other person involved.

This is helpful to me. Thank you.

You're welcome.

Biblically, it's interesting to read David's "How long..." psalms. He was suffering, and knew god could end that suffering right then, and he wasn't happy about it. But after complaining, he's forced to admit that God is good and knows better than man.

[Zazzy]

Biblically, it's interesting to read David's "How long..." psalms. He was suffering, and knew god could end that suffering right then, and he wasn't happy about it. But after complaining, he's forced to admit that God is good and knows better than man.

Yes, they're lovely. I think they're missing the raw suffering that I see in the Hopkins poem I quoted in my OP, but still beautiful. You should definitely look into Hopkins' poetry- it should be right up your alley.

[Beta Ray Bill]

I don't know if my story is what you want, but as a teenager I became very religious and scared of upsetting God. When I went to college, I avoided church because cults were rampant where I was and the Catholic church was just begging for money all the time. After college, I had a job where I worked weekends, so I stayed away from church even more. I am also an epileptic, so my fear of God triggered seizures. Eventually, I learned that meditation might help me. The more I meditated, the more I realized that God is not real. Regardless, even though I do not believe in God, my fear of him makes me get scared. I am slowly overcoming my fear, because I really don't believe in God or Jesus, but I'm scared for doing so. It causes me a lot of stress. I want to be free of him, but I'm having trouble overcoming my fear of punishment, not my lack of faith. It's also a lot of trouble for my marriage. But lack of faith to me is a double edged sword. It's helped me in a lot of ways, but it has hurt me, too. I know atheism is right, but I'm scared to do so. =(