Atheists and marriage

[Doubting Thomas]

Marriage is betting someone half your stuff that you'll love them until one of you dies.

[c172]

I refuse to get married. My grandparents have been married 60 years or so and despite little hiccups here and there, their love always shines through.

I feel like in todays world, marriages are not worked on quite so hard anymore. There's always divorce, so as soon as things get difficult, there's a way to end it. I just don't want to ned to face divorce. As necessary as it is at times, it also seems emotionally draining, and maybe even a blow to the ego, even if you initiate it.

My being an atheist really doesn't figure into my opinion of marriage, though, except I imagine that I am freer than some Xians, who seem to want to persist in toxic marriages. But maybe even that is changing.

[Faith No More]

I was with my wife for 9 1/2 years before we got married, and I only did so because it was important to her. I never saw it as more than legally committing myself to the relationship, but through the years I have come to appreciate that it's been more than that.

I was completely unprepared for how things would change, though. I signed all of the rights to my testicles away, and any time that I need them for something I have to get permission first. The fact that they are still connected to my body is just a physical formality.

[Ben Davis]

I'm opposed to the current legal definitions of marriage as I think it's a form of social control. In the UK, marriage is a civil or religious ceremony which affords certain legal rights to those entering the arrangement. They're based on the largely misogynistic definitions of marriage (ownership of women etc.) but have become far more equal in the last 30 years. The main problem is that the UK Government use marriage as a form of social engineering, affording special rights to married people which are not afforded to those who may be in equally or more committed relationships (or none) who have not signed the legal contract. Essentially, you hand over information about and access to yourself in return for tax breaks. That has sinister connotations.

In my opinion, the government has no right to get involved in my relationships and definitely no business bribing people into entering legal contracts.

I understand that in a complex society like the UK, there is a need for certain legal structures around a relationship to protect all parties: i.e. to decide what happens to ownership of common property in the case of a break-up, protection of children etc. however I think that should work like Tenancy contracts: be freely available for anyone to enter into without the need for government intervention. In fact, if one chooses, it's entirely possible to get legal cover for every aspect of the official marital contract except for the tax breaks. I know because I've done it.

I completely separate the legal side of things to the celebratory/public declarations bits of marriage: what I refer to as a Commitment Ceremony. I'm still saving up for my party and will have friends/family there. I'll publically declare my love and all of that good stuff, there'll just be no signing of a register afterwards because I've already taken care of all that without the government sticking their nose in.

[Clueless Morgan]

I think the concept of a social commitment can be practical, and there do exist species of animals that mate for life. Perhaps where religion has gone off the rails is not in codifying the social commitment, but in demanding that it be permanent. Thus you get many people who stay in broken or unhappy marriages that should probably have gone their separate ways.

Even in the animal world, among animals that "mate for life," there is a divorce rate. In that respect, I agree that the unhealthy aspect of human marriage is the social pressure to stay together forever.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-Q7b-vHY3Q

[Minimalist]

I personally don't necessarily see the need for it, as it was all created by bullshit in the first place.

Cart before the horse, here. Marriage arose as a means of alliance among families. It was only much later in human history that religious assholes co-opted it into yet another money making scam for the priests.

We have one shithead around here...Drippy, IIRC, who thinks that Jewish couples had to go to the fucking temple to get married.

[Bob Kelso]

As a man who has already been through one divorce my opinion may be tainted by bias, but I personally think that marriage is unnecessary.

I also hold the opinion that today's youth, in the U.S. at least, are led to believe the 'Disney-esque' fairy tale that marriage is the end all to relationship issues and that saying "I do" will lead to a happy ever after with no effort on their part. Which is bullshit.

Not to mention the businesses that make bank from furthering this ridiculous notion; churches, jewelers, clothing designers, as well as the shops that solely specialize in wedding related issues (bakeries and caterers, wedding planners etc.).

Borderline conspiracy theory? Sure, but I'm sure there are others that hold the same thoughts.

[Mystical]

I'm gonna marry Esquilax.
He's already got the in sickness and in health part down pretty good.
Always and forever, I'll be his and he'll be mine. That's all that matters really, but I'd like him to have all the husbandry rights.Wearing the wedding ring signifies a very beautiful bond between the two-- Plus for a woman, the ring is necessa ry in public to keep people at arms distance

[Jackalope]

I shudder to think about how life would be if I had married any of my exes.

For some odd reason, I read that as 'murdered'.

[max-greece]

Lived with Georgia for 8 years and then we got married as we were moving to Greece and she thought "living in sin" wouldn't be as acceptable over here. As it happens she was wrong but that was 22 years ago and to be honest nothing changed for us. We were mentally married well before a magistrate did the documentation.

30 years in January - we celebrate the date of moving in together as opposed to the date we got officially married - in fact we can never remember the exact date of that one. Coincidentally my parents 50 year anniversary party is in January.

Atheism didn't really come into it.