Children and punishments

[NoraBrimstone]

Murder. That'll teach 'em.

[ElleBelle]

My son (4 years old) get's "The Voice" and it always works. I don't need to spank him. He's scared shitless when he hears the loud bass, and sees the look in my eye. I do like the corner for additional punishments. 3 minutes in the corner seems like an eternity to a 4 year old. I don't send him to his room, he has too many fun things to do in there.

The corner is really effective at that age. It's like making us lock our phones up at work.

[faithinwhat]

All I know is that if I was really naughty towards my mum I got hit on the arse with a flip flop.

It doesn't do any harm in punishing your kids, it teaches them. Also my mum used to pinch under my arm if I screamed in public

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

The day you're willing to go round punching adults to correct their behavior, I'll happily listen to your rationalizations for doing the same thing to little children.

Boru

[pocaracas]

The day you're willing to go round punching adults to correct their behavior, I'll happily listen to your rationalizations for doing the same thing to little children.

Boru

There you go!



The whole movie is full of these justifications for punching adults to correct their behavior.

Honestly, I think today's society has much to thank for the existence of this movie, or else many more people would embark on a similar voyage.

[là bạn điên]

I think Physical violence against children should be banned as it is in a number of European countries and in Schools in every European country

[bennyboy]

I'm in the middle: I don't believe in "justice" style punishment, where children are beaten for daring to disobey their parents' rules (especially when it involves remembering to do/not do something). But the problem isn't spanking-- it's the pointless and ineffective way it's applied. Young children (like age 2) will respond just fine to spanking, to a scary tone of voice (especially from the father if he has a loud one), and to well-timed (IMPORTANT!) rewards.

Time-outs and lost privileges for very young children are pointless, and in my opinion more cruel than spanking, because they involve social isolation; IF the timing is perfect, like you say, "YEAH! get to your corner!" exactly when you see the kid reaching for the cookie jar, you're okay. But I've seen many retarded trying-to-be-understanding-liberal parents reasoning with a 2 year-old: "Mummy doesn't like it when you hit your brother, because it hurts him, remember last time I said if you hit him again you'd have to go to your room? You don't want to upset mommy, do you?" etc. But the actual child the behavior is doing when he gets dragged off to his room is listening confusedly to his mother-- and he is associating the punishment with his mother's emotional display, not with the hitting behavior it did (way back) two minutes ago. MUCH better is to shout "HEY!" right after the hit (or ideally during it if possible), and storm the kid off right away and dump him in his corner. Then he has a chance to make some cognitive connections AT HIS ACTUAL LEVEL of understanding.

The good thing about a quick swat to the butt is that it can be administered very quickly, with near-perfect timing. The bad thing about hitting in general is that a lot of parents are fucking morons, and become morally offended by their 2 year-old's behavior "How COULD you do that? You KNOW Mommy hates that!" and then starts beating the crap out of the kid to vent her frustrations with her own incompetence.

[Ben Davis]

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What are your ideas on disciplinary methods and child rearing?

Washing a mouth with soap?

Spanking?

Standing in the corner?

The time out chair?

Going to bed without supper?

Paying for broken items?

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My son's only just 3 so we're still in the stage when punitive instruction is most effective. 3 approaches work best with him, depending on the incident: time-out/naughty-step, confiscation of personal items and a firm, disparaging tone. I apply these in situations where he's causing harm to himself or others, not simply when I disagree with him; that part's been the most difficult but it's stopped me from punishing him for instinctive self-expression and has meant he's taught me much about myself in the process.

As he's growing, I'm adding empathic reasoning to these tools so that he understands why his behaviour is harmful, to teach him to consider how he would feel if he were facing his behaviour and to encourage him to put himself in the position of others. I also take advantage of his natural tendency to anthropomorphise to extend this education to circumstances and belongings as well as people. Part of this is getting him to apologise for wrong-doing however my main focus is on encouraging him to consider the possible consequences of his actions before/as he takes them. I'm happy to say that I use "be careful" and "think about what your doing" more commonly than "say sorry". More than that, he's started to question my behaviour in the same way.

My ultimate goal is to transition, as he grows, from coercive, punitive instruction to consentual self-administration. I consider that to be the most adult model of behavioural consideration. Alongside this, I hope to have taught him lessons which most enable this model whilst also helping him cope with a world where the majority still see nothing wrong with coercive, incarceral, corporal and capital punishment.

[The Reality Salesman01]

All I know is that if I was really naughty towards my mum I got hit on the arse with a flip flop.

It doesn't do any harm in punishing your kids, it teaches them. Also my mum used to pinch under my arm if I screamed in public

Oh yeah. I make him keep his nose in contact with the wall. Had to do it last night actually...lol. My buddy is from the Dominican Republic. He said that when he was little, his dad would make him stand in the corner on his knees...on a hard floor....over grains of rice! Jesus!

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My son's only just 3 so we're still in the stage when punitive instruction is most effective. 3 approaches work best with him, depending on the incident: time-out/naughty-step, confiscation of personal items and a firm, disparaging tone. I apply these in situations where he's causing harm to himself or others, not simply when I disagree with him; that part's been the most difficult but it's stopped me from punishing him for instinctive self-expression and has meant he's taught me much about myself in the process.

As he's growing, I'm adding empathic reasoning to these tools so that he understands why his behaviour is harmful, to teach him to consider how he would feel if he were facing his behaviour and to encourage him to put himself in the position of others. I also take advantage of his natural tendency to anthropomorphise to extend this education to circumstances and belongings as well as people. Part of this is getting him to apologise for wrong-doing however my main focus is on encouraging him to consider the possible consequences of his actions before/as he takes them. I'm happy to say that I use "be careful" and "think about what your doing" more commonly than "say sorry". More than that, he's started to question my behaviour in the same way.

My ultimate goal is to transition, as he grows, from coercive, punitive instruction to consentual self-administration. I consider that to be the most adult model of behavioural consideration. Alongside this, I hope to have taught him lessons which most enable this model whilst also helping him cope with a world where the majority still see nothing wrong with coercive, incarceral, corporal and capital punishment.

Marvelous! I too do that with my son. I'm amazed at how much I can learn from a 4 year old, and surprised by his ability to comprehend empathetic reasoning, and how he manages to apply to things that I, myself, tend to overlook. Kids are amazing. I wish my parents would have taken this approach with me. I was reading an article from a children's psycology magazine, and the author was explaining how much more effective it is to emulate the things you want your kids to value, rather than showing them how to do it. Obviously doing is more effective than just saying, but the examples she gave were not what I had in mind. For example, if you want your kids to appreciate and value reading, it's better for them to see you read often than to read to them. They're are so impressionable, and try so hard to be like us, but little things like that should be taken into account to. If all they see us do is watch TV and play on our phones, well...

Pretty interesting stuff. I enjoyed reading your approach, and couldn't agree more. Fostering a thinking child is much more rewarding than programming one to think like us.

[EgoRaptor]

My mom was always a rather authoritarian figure when I was younger. If we really misbehaved she would use a spatula on me & my brothers asses. Sometimes I wonder if that's what made me into a masochist. Now that we are older she is really laid back.