Children and punishments

[NoraBrimstone]

That'll be because the consequence of touching something hot is burning yourself.

In this case, a spanking or a very loud "HEY!" would be better. The child can still associate discomfort with the stove, but without the parent pointlessly risking the child's wellbeing.

LOL! They very loud "HEY!" I agree with, and even picking them up and moving them away from the source of danger, would be a good solution. But spanking? Hurting them so they don't get hurt? Spanking them harms them just as much as a burn from the stove. One teaches them "If I do that mummy/daddy will hurt me." the other teaches them "Better not touch the stove, it'll hurt." Which is the better lesson? Which one that will actually be of some use when they're in a situation where mummy or daddy aren't there to hurt them?
What kind of morals are based on "That's wrong because mummy or daddy will hit me!"? Not very good ones. No wonder jails are full of people who were spanked as children.

[pocaracas]

The Slap ™ is reserved for when all other venues have failed.

The first time you see an infant reach for a power outlet, you just take their hand and tell them not to touch that, because it'll hurt.
The second time, you take their hand away and say angrily that it'll hurt a lot.
After a few times of this, pretend anger turns into "is this kid brain damaged, or what?!" yells, usually carried out in the form of "NEVER TOUCH THAT!".
After a few more insistent attempts by the offender, a slap on the back of the hand suffices... no need to remove it from where it is. just slap. Immediate negative feedback associated with an undesirable behavior.

When you get your second kid trying the same stunt, you jump directly to what finally worked with the first.

Some people are fortunate, like me... my kids never found power outlets the least bit interesting...
Now, mobile phones... hmmmmmmm the bigger the screen, the better!

[Chad32]

My parents beat me when I was a kid. I can tell you that it did shit to teach me anything. They say children can't be reasoned with, have you tried reasoning with an adult while trying to crawl under a bed because they're coming at you? So I was a bad child and I deserved it and now I'm a bad child for not forgiving them. I don't see how this works out. I'm on good terms with my mum now, but my relationship with my dad is nonexistent. Why would you beat children who can't defend themselves? Seriously why would you? I babysat some awful children and it never made me want to hit them, there isn't this urge in me to hurt someone, adult or child. If I were to beat my own father then I would be a monster. But when he did it it was "discipline".

Yea, right.

If you can't teach a child properly without using violence, don't have children. It's like if you can't teach your dog properly without beating them, don't get dogs.

I have a really shitty relationship with my dad too. He doesn't hit me anymore, though, and mainly sticks to verbal abuse. Other people assure me that he loves me, but I think something is definitely wrong if you require a third party to remind you that someone loves you.

[Fruity]

If you don't have a child of your own, save your opinions. That'll do.

If it would be considered a violent home for a man to hit his wife, then it must be violent for an adult to hit a child. This is what I always argue with my sister and it really bugs me that she doesn't get it. How is a grown woman more fragile than a child?

Positive reinforcement works at home. When it fails, I take away rewards. Lots of talking and no yelling. So far it's working.

[ShaMan]

If you don't have a child of your own, save your opinions. That'll do.

If it would be considered a violent home for a man to hit his wife, then it must be violent for an adult to hit a child. This is what I always argue with my sister and it really bugs me that she doesn't get it. How is a grown woman more fragile than a child?

Positive reinforcement works at home. When it fails, I take away rewards. Lots of talking and no yelling. So far it's working.

Will you please adopt me? Oh pleeeeeeze!

[ElleBelle]

I don't think hitting is effective. It only, in my opinion, shows that hitting and punching are okay. So I'm out for that.

I agree with Ivy, it's about taking away the things they value that have the best effect.

When they're young, time outs are super effective. In the same boring spot with timers. I'm a TOTAL timer mom/teacher. It's amazing how you can focus children on tasks and behavior when they're given a specific end goal/reward.

[Chad32]

It's probably kind of a recent idea that hitting your wife is wrong, though it seemed to take longer for them to decide if hitting children is wrong too.

[ShaMan]

Risk vs. reward begets learning integrity, tenacity and responsibility. Violence only begets violence.

[pocaracas]

When I was young and naive... I thought I'd never hit a kid of mine...
Then my first one came along and changed that. The only effective way of getting that damned kid to do something decent is threatening to hit him.
Reasoning doesn't work... he's stupid.
He shouldn't be stupid, considering he has two parents who went through engineering degrees in college and all, but genetics isn't only about the parents, apparently...
If I take away his rewards... he just just sits there, numb and dumb. And does nothing of what he should do.
Only through the threat of pain does he move to do what he must do, be it tidy up, homework, set the table, whatever. Luckily, he actually does stuff, but sometimes, sometimes... he just... arghghgh, it's like he's a teenager... a 10 year old teenager. Always arguing "why must I do this?" "why must I do that?" "why?" "why?" "why?".... after we've told him why for the millionth time, the bugger still asks why... now that I think of it, reminds me of enrico... stupid, I tell you...

[Chad32]

Just little to no ambition, I guess. I have a similar problem. That's part of the reason my hard working dad doesn't like me. Bill Cosby is, as always, funny as hell.