Why did God murder children for making fun of a bald guy?

[Chas]

The story is actually about a group of kids who insulted the Emperor's envoy. So the envoy sent his guards to kill them. It's what Saddam or the North Korean dictator would do without a second thought. The moral of the story is "don't insult the ruler or his ambassador." The Bible has a lot of passages repeating that same idea. Jesus told several such stories.

That's very interesting. Except it doesn't fucking say that.

[Chad32]

In their attempts to use metaphors, and bring Yahweh into their worldview, they paint him as a horrible individual who isn't worthy of worship. Sure, the death of the firstborns of Egypt and such, if it really happened, was probably just a regular disease. Yet the bible claims Yahweh did it, so he bears the burden of killing children for the sins of their fathers. Murdering innocents for the crimes of others is never just. I suppose you could say they were still born in sin, but the children had no part in the reason Yahweh was punishing Egypt.

[psychoslice]

It could be a metaphor, hair representing vanity, as with Samsun who thought his hair was his strength, so those who are ignorant will laugh because of their own vanity, well that is how I see it.

[John V]

The focus has been on the baldness. Have you considered what they meant by go up?

Some have noted that it's difficult to picture bears mauling 42 people, a thought which also crossed my mind some time ago. It turns out that the word translated tore is translated elsewhere as divide (as in Moses and the Red Sea) and breach (as in the wall of a city). Bears charging through a group of 42 and making a passage is easier to picture.

Other alternatives:

- they weren't killed. Each person's wounds were relatively minor for a bear attack, which means the bears would have been able to wound more of them.

- there were hundreds of people there, making a quick retreat difficult.

[truthBtold]

The focus has been on the baldness. Have you considered what they meant by go up?

Some have noted that it's difficult to picture bears mauling 42 people, a thought which also crossed my mind some time ago. It turns out that the word translated tore is translated elsewhere as divide (as in Moses and the Red Sea) and breach (as in the wall of a city). Bears charging through a group of 42 and making a passage is easier to picture.

Other alternatives:

- they weren't killed. Each person's wounds were relatively minor for a bear attack, which means the bears would have been able to wound more of them.

- there were hundreds of people there, making a quick retreat difficult.

What?

[John V]

What?

Ooh, let me play:

Where?

[TipsFedora]

Simple. Magical sky wizard bears.

HA HA HA HA

Oh wait, that's not funny. Or clever.

[Minimalist]

The focus has been on the baldness. Have you considered what they meant by go up?

Some have noted that it's difficult to picture bears mauling 42 people, a thought which also crossed my mind some time ago. It turns out that the word translated tore is translated elsewhere as divide (as in Moses and the Red Sea) and breach (as in the wall of a city). Bears charging through a group of 42 and making a passage is easier to picture.

Other alternatives:

- they weren't killed. Each person's wounds were relatively minor for a bear attack, which means the bears would have been able to wound more of them.

- there were hundreds of people there, making a quick retreat difficult.

Better alternative: It's a bullshit story concocted by whoever wrote it to make some point which time has rendered moot.

[Bad Writer]

The focus has been on the baldness. Have you considered what they meant by go up?

Some have noted that it's difficult to picture bears mauling 42 people, a thought which also crossed my mind some time ago. It turns out that the word translated tore is translated elsewhere as divide (as in Moses and the Red Sea) and breach (as in the wall of a city). Bears charging through a group of 42 and making a passage is easier to picture.

Other alternatives:

- they weren't killed. Each person's wounds were relatively minor for a bear attack, which means the bears would have been able to wound more of them.

- there were hundreds of people there, making a quick retreat difficult.

New alternative: stop defending this steaming pile of crap. If it happened, then Yahweh is a dick. If it didn't, the the author is clearly a sociopath.

[Rampant.A.I.]

The focus has been on the baldness. Have you considered what they meant by go up?

Some have noted that it's difficult to picture bears mauling 42 people, a thought which also crossed my mind some time ago. It turns out that the word translated tore is translated elsewhere as divide (as in Moses and the Red Sea) and breach (as in the wall of a city). Bears charging through a group of 42 and making a passage is easier to picture.

Other alternatives:

- they weren't killed. Each person's wounds were relatively minor for a bear attack, which means the bears would have been able to wound more of them.

- there were hundreds of people there, making a quick retreat difficult.

Don't know the answer? Just make shit up!