A Question for Gay Men

[John V]

Have u seen some women?

Ugly women need lovin' too. That's why Edison invented the off switch just after inventing the light bulb. They all look the same in the dark.

[Creed of Heresy]

I have question for effeminate gay men. Why speak with a lisp? Is there a reason of some kind that you need to emulate a speech impediment? Hope my question isn't offensive, just curious.

No clue. It's not something I've really felt worth my consideration. What do I care if someone's voice is different, dig?

[BrokenQuill92]

Also, I am noticing something I deem to be a misconception in some people's responses. I doubt that feminine gay men choose to behave feminine any more than some straight men choose to behave in a feminine manner. Femininity is not dependent upon sexuality or choice any more than masculinity is. Plenty of Tom Boys, after all, behave in a masculine manner and they grow up to be straight. Masculinity in women is no more an indication of sexuality than femininity in men is an indication of sexuality, and I believe that the manner in which one presents herself or himself to the world in relation to either being masculine or feminine has no bearing on choice.

That's not it I'm just trying to work out the lisping that some guys do? It just seems odd to me that

1. Either subconsciously or on purpose someone would model their speech pattern after a disability

2. If its not studied why not take speech therapy

[Napoléon]

I don't get why a gay man would be attracted to an effeminate man. If you're attracted to feminine people, what's wrong with women?

As someone who has had inclinations toward effeminate men himself, I don't know why. All I can say is you can't help what you're attracted to.

[My imaginary friend is GOD]

I'm not sure whether this was aimed towards my post or just a general statement, but my take is that when gay guys have this sort of voice it's almost like they are trying to announce the fact that they are gay. My nephew acts pretty feminine and he's grown up in a household of women and his step-brother is gay and visits often (he's also excessively feminine). I can only imagine that this behaviour is subconsciously learnt. I just don't understand why this happens, and I must admit I find it rather annoying when a guy acts feminine seemingly only because of their sexual preference.

I feel I should make a correction to my earlier post though, using the word 'problem' is a bad move on my part. I have as much a problem with these gay guys who act feminine as I do with loud obnoxious people. I fully endorse their right to act such a way but I just can't help but find it annoying. I guess that may be irrational but there it is.

Okay, let me reintegrate what I have said that I am pretty sure no guy actively chooses to have a "gay" lisp. I don't know even know if there is actually a REASON for some gay men having a gay lisp.

I am even reasonably sure that to a large degree, exactly how "feminine" anybody acts is at least partially because they just are that feminine, and partially because they identify with a group (I'm going to say it's probably either women or homosexual men) to such a degree that they think acting more "feminine" fundamentally identifies them as part of that group. The other factor is how much they are just trying to meet society's expectations; I think it is expected by SOCIETY for whatever reason that being "feminine" is inherently part of what it means to be a man and homosexual simultaneously. And of course, it is expected for those who are female to be "feminine."

Personally, I think the concept of "feminine" or "masculine" is just stupid to begin with. Is it not just assigning gender roles and gender stereotypes and expectations for what it means to be of a certain gender? If so, I definitely think that is fundamentally stupid. But this is probably because I do not at all identify with the concept of "femininty" or "masculinity" or "gender" at all. I am probably just an oddball, but I don't think it is even possible for me to even begin to understand why people cling so desperately to these concepts and care to any degree how true it is that someone is "feminine" or "masculine" at all. I know this is something that is conditioned through culture and true of every culture, I just don't understand WHY. I know some of why, just not enough for it to make sense to me.

---

Exactly. But there seem to be higher incidences of effeminate men being gay and tomboyish women being lesbian. Whatever the modifier is, it seems to me to be a semi-reliable marker. I don't think this is entirely stereotype.

No, it's not at all entirely stereotype. This is because there are ways in which homosexuality in women and homosexuality in men are just completely different things. I won't go into the specific ways this is true, because if you care enough about it you can do more research into homosexuality and if you look at enough of the RELIABLE data to the degree that the data could possibly be reliable, you will gradually understand more and more ways in which this is true.

I don't feel like doing it for you simply because I know you will not believe the things I say just because I say them are true, and I do not want to spend time hunting down the reliable studies which show the that everything I am saying is true. That would be EFFORT. And it's just not worth it to me right now.

[Napoléon]

Gender roles IMHO aren't always a bad thing, fundamentally women and men are different. Guys have testosterone, women have estrogen. From a biological point of view genders operate very differently and act differently. I think this 'gay lisp' phenomenon is very much a psychological thing, and I'm not entirely certain whether it is a choice or not.

[Psykhronic]

The problem is that gender is much more complex than roles.

[truthBtold]

I got .. its raining men song stuck in my head all day.. thanks.. and im straight

[BrokenQuill92]

I got .. its raining men song stuck in my head all day.. thanks.. and im straight

Giggles

[My imaginary friend is GOD]

Gender roles IMHO aren't always a bad thing, fundamentally women and men are different. Guys have testosterone, women have estrogen. From a biological point of view genders operate very differently and act differently. I think this 'gay lisp' phenomenon is very much a psychological thing, and I'm not entirely certain whether it is a choice or not.

Okay, but "gender" is not that kind of thing. "Sex" is that thing. The only way in which "gender" seems to be a biological thing is in that it seems that there is a difference between those who identify as "female" gender-wise seem to have brains that are different from the people who identify as "male" gender-wise.