The dumbest fucking arguments you've ever heard.

[xr34p3rx]

OK, this is just a fun little challenge for people here.

Name three of the Dumbest Fucking Arguments You've Ever Heard, or DFAYEH, in support of theism against atheism.

PERSONAL arguments, mind you, not between "professional" debaters. I'm interested in seeing the extent of stupidity that exists amongst the religious. Mostly because I could seriously use a good, hearty belly-laugh.

"you do believe in god, you just dont want to admit it"
my pastor dad always tell me that, its annoying and pathetic
EDIT: oh and the tinfoil hat type of claims that science and atheism are just a coverup of the "truth"

[paulpablo]

Not necessarily against Atheism per se but some of the anti-evolution arguments are incredibly dumb. Like this oft repeated Jewel:

"If we come from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?"

This can only be said by someone who has purposely kept themselves totally ignorant or is too stupid to understand even the most basics of evolution.

I think if you ask a person on the street who isn't into religious debates or anything to do with biology they might ask that question I don't think it's so stupid.
On the other hand I do think it's pretty stupid if you are into religious debates and trying to disprove evolution by putting that question forward.
Also I think it's partly the fault of people who do believe in evolution who say we evolved from apes when I think it's more accurate to say we ARE apes who evolved from a creature that was like a monkey.

[Angrboda]

I don't like Plantinga. He equivocates all the frigging time.

I suppose there are two theist type arguments which frustrate me more than others.
1) Where it's obvious the argument was developed, not to get to what the right answer is, but solely to avoid having to admit your beliefs are the wrong answer.
2) Arguments that show bald ignorance of a subject matter or argument that is well-known to be settled; and continuing to argue and remain willfully ignorant instead of learning.

I must also admit that I get frustrated with people like enrico and others who, for no necessary reason, are simply attempting to prosecute arguments which are blatantly beyond their abilities intellectually to prosecute. Oddly enough, such threads on the forum tend to generate some of the most traffic.

[Bittersmart]

Hrm.....lemme see, lemme see, I gotta narrow it down.

Okay, here are some (paraphrased) arguments I've heard from people in real life (not internet trolls):

1. I didn't come from no monkey, evolution is stupid, therefore god made everything
2. You can't see air, but without it you would die. God is like the air.
3. Everyone knows in their heart god is real, no one is really an atheist

And for a bonus! I had an ex co-worker tell me that a science magazine (I think he said Nat Geo, or one of those big ones) told him that the planets are only a few thousand years old, therefore the theory of evolution was proven wrong, therefore I shouldn't be an atheist (because obviously god exists). I don't know what the fuck he was reading, but I seriously just stood there and nodded at him and then walked away without saying anything.

[DeistPaladin]

This is a "professional" argument but so jaw-droppingly... I was about to say "stupid" but that's not the right word.

Arguments like "if we evolved from apes, why are there still apes?" or "People don't die for a lie?" are examples of stupid arguments, the first being born of ignorance of science and the latter of a willingness to accept folklore as history. These "arguments" merit a face palm but at least they're coherent enough to earn one.

Even "tide comes in, tide goes out, never a miscommunication" rises to the level of stupid, demonstrating both ignorance of science and the Argument from Ignorance fallacy.

The worst argument I've ever heard is the "presuppositionalist" argument. I think "inscrutable" is a better word to use here. It's so incoherent that there isn't anything to examine. Best as I can tell, the "argument" goes something like this:

1. Without God, we can't know anything.
2. By "God" we of course mean "Jesus".
3. You admit you don't know everything.
4. Since you don't know everything, how can you be sure of anything?
5. I don't have that problem because I can say God(Verb)It.
6. GodDidIt, GodWillsIt, GodIsIt, GodDoesIt, GodYattaYattaIt, etc. There, everything in the universe has been explained.
7. You don't know everything, therefore Jesus.

The reaction is best summed up by "Diana Trent" in "Waiting For God":

"Jane, did I black out for 15 minutes while you explained your logic?"

[Thirschman]

In a college Biology class, a young man once told me that the existence of "God" was proven by the perfect design of our solar system. Because, if the Earth were one millimeter closer to the sun, we would burn up- and if we were one millimeter farther away, we would freeze....
Clearly, someone missed that day of school in the 4th grade, when the elliptical orbit of the Earth and the resulting SEASONS were explained.
I've also heard this one: "well, if God doesn't exist, then who wrote the bible?".
Or, my personal favorite of circular reasoning: "God exists because it says so in the bible.".

[Norman Humann]

Welcome Thirschman.

This thread is almost a year old. It's one of the forum guidelines not to necropost.

[downbeatplumb]

In a college Biology class, a young man once told me that the existence of "God" was proven by the perfect design of our solar system. Because, if the Earth were one millimeter closer to the sun, we would burn up- and if we were one millimeter farther away, we would freeze....
Clearly, someone missed that day of school in the 4th grade, when the elliptical orbit of the Earth and the resulting SEASONS were explained.
I've also heard this one: "well, if God doesn't exist, then who wrote the bible?".
Or, my personal favorite of circular reasoning: "God exists because it says so in the bible.".

What you fail to see is he is using millimetres like some creationists use the biblical day, so a "millimetre" could be anything from a millimetre to a light year in distance.

[Thackerie]

"If you don't believe in something, you'll fall for anything." - the implication apparently being that skepticism causes gullibility.

But...isn't that contradictory? How can you be skeptical and gullible at the same time? Oh yeah, these are dumb arguments.

Here's one from these very fora:

But it helps if you accept the universe is the purpose made creation of the almighty God before you get into those details.

I believe the original expression was, "If you don't STAND FOR something, you'll fall for anything." Then it was filtered through fundy-think and became absolutely meaningless.

[Spooky]

I always get the "I can feel god" argument.

Sometimes I wonder if Mary could "feel" god.