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Current time: May 27, 2022, 8:52 am

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Friends with benefits?
#31
RE: Friends with benefits?
(March 27, 2014 at 8:06 am)Deidre32 Wrote: What do you all think about the concept of ‘friends with benefits?’

Asked two of my offline Christian friends and they say it ‘cheapens your worth in a man’s eyes.’
My offline atheist friends say ‘nothing wrong with it, but if feelings emerge, it can ruin the friendships.’

Hmmm. I don’t want to get serious with anyone, but hanging out with someone in a ‘mutually beneficial’ arrangement, sounds…appealing.

Would be interested in your ideas about it, and if you have stories to share of your own. (good or bad)

I don't find it appealing. For me, sex is more than just bumpin' uglies. Having sex with someone is intimate. Having sex with someone and then turning around and being "just friends" with them would be really weird. Like, hey, you were just inside me, but don't hold hands with me at the mall, it's not like that. I guess I'm just a very monogamous kind of person and I only like being intimate with people if we're in a relationship.
[Image: ferns500x125_zps9511e564.jpg]
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#32
RE: Friends with benefits?
(March 27, 2014 at 9:18 pm)Bittersmart Wrote: I don't find it appealing. I guess I'm just a very monogamous kind of person and I only like being intimate with people if we're in a relationship.
I like cats! Tiger
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#33
RE: Friends with benefits?
(March 27, 2014 at 9:18 pm)Bittersmart Wrote:
(March 27, 2014 at 8:06 am)Deidre32 Wrote: What do you all think about the concept of ‘friends with benefits?’

Asked two of my offline Christian friends and they say it ‘cheapens your worth in a man’s eyes.’
My offline atheist friends say ‘nothing wrong with it, but if feelings emerge, it can ruin the friendships.’

Hmmm. I don’t want to get serious with anyone, but hanging out with someone in a ‘mutually beneficial’ arrangement, sounds…appealing.

Would be interested in your ideas about it, and if you have stories to share of your own. (good or bad)

I don't find it appealing. For me, sex is more than just bumpin' uglies. Having sex with someone is intimate. Having sex with someone and then turning around and being "just friends" with them would be really weird. Like, hey, you were just inside me, but don't hold hands with me at the mall, it's not like that. I guess I'm just a very monogamous kind of person and I only like being intimate with people if we're in a relationship.

This is interesting. I'm glad you weighed in. I don't sleep around (ftr) and thinking this all through, I'd want to be 'exclusive' if we were doing something like this, for a number of reasons.

So, fwb, but exclusive. Isn't that called a relatonship? lol Big Grin

I'm trying to avoid falling in love, you see. I was VERY badly hurt in the last two relationships (last one in particular) and if I could never feel love ever again, I would be fine with that. :/

So, that's the problem. Of the guys I've dated since those two, most want more than friendship, or sex...so, it's interesting that fwb isn't as 'easy' to do as some might think.
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#34
RE: Friends with benefits?
(March 27, 2014 at 9:18 pm)Bittersmart Wrote:
(March 27, 2014 at 8:06 am)Deidre32 Wrote: What do you all think about the concept of ‘friends with benefits?’

Asked two of my offline Christian friends and they say it ‘cheapens your worth in a man’s eyes.’
My offline atheist friends say ‘nothing wrong with it, but if feelings emerge, it can ruin the friendships.’

Hmmm. I don’t want to get serious with anyone, but hanging out with someone in a ‘mutually beneficial’ arrangement, sounds…appealing.

Would be interested in your ideas about it, and if you have stories to share of your own. (good or bad)

I don't find it appealing. For me, sex is more than just bumpin' uglies. Having sex with someone is intimate. Having sex with someone and then turning around and being "just friends" with them would be really weird. Like, hey, you were just inside me, but don't hold hands with me at the mall, it's not like that. I guess I'm just a very monogamous kind of person and I only like being intimate with people if we're in a relationship.

I used to think about it this way, too.

And I certainly wouldn't consider it with multiple friends or friends I've just become acquainted with. But I have an old friend that I've known for years that I trust and, so far, we've made it work (for two weeks - LOL)
Dying to live, living to die.
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#35
RE: Friends with benefits?
(March 27, 2014 at 9:23 pm)Deidre32 Wrote:
(March 27, 2014 at 9:18 pm)Bittersmart Wrote: I don't find it appealing. For me, sex is more than just bumpin' uglies. Having sex with someone is intimate. Having sex with someone and then turning around and being "just friends" with them would be really weird. Like, hey, you were just inside me, but don't hold hands with me at the mall, it's not like that. I guess I'm just a very monogamous kind of person and I only like being intimate with people if we're in a relationship.

This is interesting. I'm glad you weighed in. I don't sleep around (ftr) and thinking this all through, I'd want to be 'exclusive' if we were doing something like this, for a number of reasons.

So, fwb, but exclusive. Isn't that called a relatonship? lol Big Grin

LOL....yes.

Quote:I'm trying to avoid falling in love, you see. I was VERY badly hurt in the last two relationships (last one in particular) and if I could never feel love ever again, I would be fine with that. :/

Aww, don't reject love just because you got burnt! Being hurt suuuuuucks, I know, but love is worth it. Love makes all that past heartache feel like the mild heartburn you had that one time. When you find love again, oh, man, it's the bee's knees.

(March 27, 2014 at 9:22 pm)ShaMan Wrote:
(March 27, 2014 at 9:18 pm)Bittersmart Wrote: I don't find it appealing. I guess I'm just a very monogamous kind of person and I only like being intimate with people if we're in a relationship.
I like cats! Tiger

Me...too...??
[Image: ferns500x125_zps9511e564.jpg]
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#36
RE: Friends with benefits?
OMFG I LOVE CATS! CATS ARE ADORABLE AND WONDERFUL AND SEXY!

Hmm...

Yep, now regret making this post. Big Grin
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#37
RE: Friends with benefits?
Deidre, the right question to ask yourself is,

What would Jesus do?
He who loves God cannot endeavour that God should love him in return - Baruch Spinoza
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#38
RE: Friends with benefits?
I don't think I've ever had a female friend I've wanted to have sex with.
Everything I needed to know about life I learned on Dagobah.
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#39
RE: Friends with benefits?
(March 27, 2014 at 9:50 pm)My imaginary friend is GOD Wrote: OMFG I LOVE CATS! CATS ARE ADORABLE AND WONDERFUL AND SEXY!

Hmm...

Yep, now regret making this post. Big Grin

Yes cats are sexy
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#40
RE: Friends with benefits?
(March 27, 2014 at 9:51 pm)Pickup_shonuff Wrote: Deidre, the right question to ask yourself is,

What would Jesus do?

Thinking

(March 27, 2014 at 9:52 pm)Rahul Wrote: I don't think I've ever had a female friend I've wanted to have sex with.

Thinking
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