Why are you sad/mad/upset? (place to complain)

[Sedna]

I don't really want to make a whole thread dedicated to myself, so anyone can post why they're upset here.

For me:
My boyfriend just told me by text that he thinks he might want to break up with me and he says he might like someone else. We've been together for about 4 or 5 years and this is totally unexpected... I'm in tears right now... I don't know what to do. I thought our relationship was better than it was before. I feel so lost. He's basically my only friend- I don't have anyone else to talk to or hang out with outside of class. I don't know who to turn to. He's the only person I've ever had that I could be myself with.

I guess there's still a little hope for my relationship, but damn. It just hurts so bad. I know it's really lame to write this on a forum that I only have like 40 posts on, but I just don't know where else to vent right now.

I'm still really young and I know it's foolish to think that there's no one else out there for me, but... yeah- that's basically how I feel right now.

[Cato]

Breakups are always tough; however, I can hardly think that someone that breaks off a 4-5 year relationship via text is worth pining over.

I know that only time will dissipate the emotional pain, but there are 7 billion fellow travelers on Earth. I am sure that locally there are several that would enjoy your company, but are perhaps too shy to make your acquaintance. Get bold regarding approaching new people. I've always been amused how casual/odd encounters have developed into lasting friendships.

[CapnAwesome]

My sympathies. I believe that you feelings are very real, but like Cato says, lots of people out there. Meeting new people is not as difficult as some believe. Just start doing an activity that involves other people.

[Sedna]

Thanks to both of you. We haven't broken up yet, he just says that he's seriously thinking about it. But I have no idea what'll happen. Uff, I need to make some tea or something.
I really suck at making new friends, but I'm going to try and not let this screw up my life. I've been doing really well in school and my depression has been better. I'm trying to stay cool about this.
Thanks again.

[CapnAwesome]

I think another important thing to note is that it can be quite fun and fulfilling to be single. I've spend quite a while being in various relationships and now have been single for a few months. It's great being able to make all my own decisions without considering someone else's feelings or opinions. Also it's fun to be able to flirt freely with a plethora of different people. Sometimes it's nice to be single.

[Napoléon]

We haven't broken up yet, he just says that he's seriously thinking about it.

This seems incredibly selfish to me (on his part). Are you just supposed to wait around and hang on for him while he has time to find a better option? And if he can't then you're his best bet? Seems obvious to me from what you've said he's not committed to you, doesn't even seem like he can be arsed working it out with you. Fuck that guy. I wouldn't be waiting on him to 'make up his mind'.

[Losty]

Thanks to both of you. We haven't broken up yet, he just says that he's seriously thinking about it. But I have no idea what'll happen. Uff, I need to make some tea or something.
I really suck at making new friends, but I'm going to try and not let this screw up my life. I've been doing really well in school and my depression has been better. I'm trying to stay cool about this.
Thanks again.

Listen, my love, please please please do not stay with this person. Some guy who spent 4-5 years of their life with you, who is supposed to love you sends you a text that he is "considering" breaking up with you because he "might" like someone else? You text him back and tell him to feel free to fuck off. You are awesome! You don't need him, what you need is to pick your head up and realize that you are smart and fun and beautiful and perfectly capable of making friends and meeting new people. Hold your head up high, maybe work on your self esteem a little before getting into a new relationship. Hugs and love for you!

[*Deidre*]

I don't really want to make a whole thread dedicated to myself, so anyone can post why they're upset here.

For me:
My boyfriend just told me by text that he thinks he might want to break up with me and he says he might like someone else. We've been together for about 4 or 5 years and this is totally unexpected... I'm in tears right now... I don't know what to do. I thought our relationship was better than it was before. I feel so lost. He's basically my only friend- I don't have anyone else to talk to or hang out with outside of class. I don't know who to turn to. He's the only person I've ever had that I could be myself with.

I guess there's still a little hope for my relationship, but damn. It just hurts so bad. I know it's really lame to write this on a forum that I only have like 40 posts on, but I just don't know where else to vent right now.

I'm still really young and I know it's foolish to think that there's no one else out there for me, but... yeah- that's basically how I feel right now.

I echo what Cato said. Breaking up with you by text?

Something interesting that you might want to reflect on. I doubt that your relationship with him was going well. Most likely, there were red flags and because you have chosen to make him your whole world, you ignored those red flags to keep things going. The sheer fact that he is breaking up with you by text, shows he has no respect for you as a person, or his gf.

My advice. Cry by yourself. Spend time alone and healing from this, but cut this guy off immediately. Don't argue, don't anything. Cut contact and start learning how to respect yourself again. Find what makes you happy, without him or any guy. I went through something similar, dating assholes...and the only way to heal, is to do the tough work on yourself. So, you don't attract more jerks like this one.

Sorry, he's a jerk. You are emotionally invested right now, and it's hard to see what we all see here. But, any guy who would tell you this through text is an asshole.

Seriously, cut contact and start working on rebuilding your own life, interests, hobbies, without him. It will take time, but you will get there.

Don't ever settle for this type of person in your life. You deserve the best. (((hugs)))

---

I think another important thing to note is that it can be quite fun and fulfilling to be single. I've spend quite a while being in various relationships and now have been single for a few months. It's great being able to make all my own decisions without considering someone else's feelings or opinions. Also it's fun to be able to flirt freely with a plethora of different people. Sometimes it's nice to be single.

and this, too.

[Sedna]

Thanks guys

I think another important thing to note is that it can be quite fun and fulfilling to be single. I've spend quite a while being in various relationships and now have been single for a few months. It's great being able to make all my own decisions without considering someone else's feelings or opinions. Also it's fun to be able to flirt freely with a plethora of different people. Sometimes it's nice to be single.

I dunno, I guess I would be more free, but I kinda suck at flirting and what-not. It just doesn't sound that fun for me. I like having my life feel stable.

This seems incredibly selfish to me (on his part). Are you just supposed to wait around and hang on for him while he has time to find a better option? And if he can't then you're his best bet? Seems obvious to me from what you've said he's not committed to you, doesn't even seem like he can be arsed working it out with you. Fuck that guy. I wouldn't be waiting on him to 'make up his mind'.

Listen, my love, please please please do not stay with this person. Some guy who spent 4-5 years of their life with you, who is supposed to love you sends you a text that he is "considering" breaking up with you because he "might" like someone else? You text him back and tell him to feel free to fuck off. You are awesome! You don't need him, what you need is to pick your head up and realize that you are smart and fun and beautiful and perfectly capable of making friends and meeting new people. Hold your head up high, maybe work on your self esteem a little before getting into a new relationship. Hugs and love for you!

I dunno, I kind of feel like it's my fault for making him feel this way. I've been kind of distancing myself and we haven't been hanging out much. He's always been really committed and he's a nice guy, but he's really emotional. I don't know even really know what I'm trying to say...

I'm just kind of freaking out right now. I don't feel ready to deal with this

[*Deidre*]

It's really great that you are so open and honest about this, Sedna. That will help you heal faster. I think that it's good to highlight what you just posted there. Sometimes, we get comfortable with the wrong person.

It's harder sometimes to let go of stability and comfort, than it is to venture out into the great unknown. It's natural to feel scared right now, but you will get through this.