Why are you sad/mad/upset? (place to complain)

[Sedna]

I echo what Cato said. Breaking up with you by text?

Something interesting that you might want to reflect on. I doubt that your relationship with him was going well. Most likely, there were red flags and because you have chosen to make him your whole world, you ignored those red flags to keep things going. The sheer fact that he is breaking up with you by text, shows he has no respect for you as a person, or his gf.

My advice. Cry by yourself. Spend time alone and healing from this, but cut this guy off immediately. Don't argue, don't anything. Cut contact and start learning how to respect yourself again. Find what makes you happy, without him or any guy. I went through something similar, dating assholes...and the only way to heal, is to do the tough work on yourself. So, you don't attract more jerks like this one.

Sorry, he's a jerk. You are emotionally invested right now, and it's hard to see what we all see here. But, any guy who would tell you this through text is an asshole.

Seriously, cut contact and start working on rebuilding your own life, interests, hobbies, without him. It will take time, but you will get there.

Don't ever settle for this type of person in your life. You deserve the best. (((hugs)))

---

I think another important thing to note is that it can be quite fun and fulfilling to be single. I've spend quite a while being in various relationships and now have been single for a few months. It's great being able to make all my own decisions without considering someone else's feelings or opinions. Also it's fun to be able to flirt freely with a plethora of different people. Sometimes it's nice to be single.

and this, too.

Well it's been kinda bad in the past, but he's not a bad guy. I know I sound like one of those pathetic people who can't see how much their relationship really sucks. Well, maybe I am one of those. But I thought it was going good.
I'm scared

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It's really great that you are so open and honest about this, Sedna. That will help you heal faster. I think that it's good to highlight what you just posted there. Sometimes, we get comfortable with the wrong person.

It's harder sometimes to let go of stability and comfort, than it is to venture out into the great unknown. It's natural to feel scared right now, but you will get through this.

Thanks, Deidre
I really just have no idea what I'm going to do. I really don't have anyone else in my life right now.

[*Deidre*]

I echo what Cato said. Breaking up with you by text?

Something interesting that you might want to reflect on. I doubt that your relationship with him was going well. Most likely, there were red flags and because you have chosen to make him your whole world, you ignored those red flags to keep things going. The sheer fact that he is breaking up with you by text, shows he has no respect for you as a person, or his gf.

My advice. Cry by yourself. Spend time alone and healing from this, but cut this guy off immediately. Don't argue, don't anything. Cut contact and start learning how to respect yourself again. Find what makes you happy, without him or any guy. I went through something similar, dating assholes...and the only way to heal, is to do the tough work on yourself. So, you don't attract more jerks like this one.

Sorry, he's a jerk. You are emotionally invested right now, and it's hard to see what we all see here. But, any guy who would tell you this through text is an asshole.

Seriously, cut contact and start working on rebuilding your own life, interests, hobbies, without him. It will take time, but you will get there.

Don't ever settle for this type of person in your life. You deserve the best. (((hugs)))

---

and this, too.

Well it's been kinda bad in the past, but he's not a bad guy. I know I sound like one of those pathetic people who can't see how much their relationship really sucks. Well, maybe I am one of those. But I thought it was going good.
I'm scared

I don't know him, but let me say this. When a guy tells you he likes someone else, this means he has already spent time on someone else, to get to the level of liking the person. That might hurt, but it's true. Candy coating this won't help you move past him.

He may have started out nice, but how he is treating you NOW, isn't nice. He is texting you that he likes someone else. Truth is, he has already turned his gaze to someone else, and yet doesn't want to lose his ace in the hole, his sure thing, which is you.

Cut contact. It might sound cold, but if you keep the door open for this guy, he will take advantage. I know the type! I could write the book on them. lol

Hang in there, girl.

[Sedna]

I know all the things you guys are saying seem true from an outside perspective and if it were someone else posting here I'd probably tell them to just break it off themselves too, but it's so hard. I liked how things were at the moment. I don't want to break up, even if it's smarter

Do I sound like a crazy person? haha

[*Deidre*]

haha No, you don't sound crazy. We have all been there, to varying degrees.

I'm not suggesting he's a jerk for wanting to break things off with you. Break ups are a part of life. But, it's HOW he is doing it. He didn't respect you enough to come to you and discuss things, instead he's been off getting to know another girl, and then now, that he feels that might go somewhere, he's willing to let you go. That is a jerk. Nice guys don't do that, Sedna. Time to take the blinders off, and see him and your relationship for what it is.

Just trying to keep it real.

[rexbeccarox]

Sweetie, by telling you *through text* that he's thinking about breaking up, and there might be another girl he likes, he's telling you he doesn't respect you and he doesn't think you're good enough for him. If you're not ready for a breakup, you should be prepared for this cold, hard truth. I'm sorry to be blunt, but never settle.

[Jackalope]

Sweetie, by telling you *through text* that he's thinking about breaking up, and there might be another girl he likes, he's telling you he doesn't respect you and he doesn't think you're good enough for him. If you're not ready for a breakup, you should be prepared for this cold, hard truth. I'm sorry to be blunt, but never settle.

Pretty much this. Whatever the relationship may have been, this is the reality of it now.

It sucks that you're going through this - but you can overcome it.

[NoraBrimstone]

You'll be fine. You're hurting now, and you're meant to be hurting, but it will pass and you'll be sooo over it you'll wonder why you were ever upset at all. A cowardly dickhead who tells you that sort of thing by text isn't worth your time. You've already wasted years of your youth on him, time that you'll never get back. Why waste another second on him?

Never mind this "you'll find someone else" crap. You don't need anyone. Whether or not you find someone else one day is irrelevant. Right now you have a great opportunity to enjoy some quality you time, where you can get a bit of independence and freedom. It's very liberating to enjoy being single. You can do what you want, go where you want and shag who you want without having anyone to answer to.

[sven]

I don't really want to make a whole thread dedicated to myself, so anyone can post why they're upset here.

For me:
My boyfriend just told me by text that he thinks he might want to break up with me and he says he might like someone else. We've been together for about 4 or 5 years and this is totally unexpected... I'm in tears right now... I don't know what to do. I thought our relationship was better than it was before. I feel so lost. He's basically my only friend- I don't have anyone else to talk to or hang out with outside of class. I don't know who to turn to. He's the only person I've ever had that I could be myself with.

I guess there's still a little hope for my relationship, but damn. It just hurts so bad. I know it's really lame to write this on a forum that I only have like 40 posts on, but I just don't know where else to vent right now.

I'm still really young and I know it's foolish to think that there's no one else out there for me, but... yeah- that's basically how I feel right now.

Well, that kinda sucks quite a bit.
Have you considered a 'transitional relationship'?
I.e. get a new not so serious boyfriend straight away to help you move on. I've found this helps quite a bit.

I myself am sad that my father died a few days ago.

[FlyingNarwhal]

I don't think he's doing this over text because he doesn't respect her or because he's just a dick. I think this is the action of "non confrontational" guy. But look, if he says he's might be interested in someone else then I'll tell you two things. First is that there is no might, he is interested in someone else. He's saying might because again he is being non confrontational and trying to put it on you to initiate the break up, so he doesn't feel like an asshole. And second is that if he really doesn't like confrontation, it means he's been unhappy in the relationship for a little while now, maybe a few months. His interest in this other person means that his feelings toward you have dipped below the possible interest he has for her.

Look just leave the relationship now, for both of you. He's not happy, so even if he comes back it won't be for long, and probably not real. And there's no point feeling this way twice, so don't do that to yourself. Text him back, tell him its over, and move on to whatever comes next.

[Jacob(smooth)]

What diedre and rebbeca said. Breaking up by text is a douche move. But telling you he's CONSIDERING breaking up is just a straight up power play. Run for the exit sweetie, this could be the start or end of something toxic. If he's treating you like option he doesn't deserve for you to make him a priority.