Are there people you CANNOT discuss religion with?

[Silver]

My sister is the one with whom I cannot discuss religion.

Growing up, we were considered religious even though we did not attend church. In a way, we were only religious in name, not so much in practice.

I think it was her husband's mother who influenced her toward becoming a hardcore theist, because the woman was the type to watch those con artists televangelists.

When I do speak with my sister, and she knows I am an atheist, we make sure to not discuss religion.

[FatAndFaithless]

To be honest I have more secular/atheist friends that don't like talking about religion than religious friends. The religious friends I have are used to discussing/debating it with me and we both welcome the engagement. A lot of my atheist friends fall into the "it's their belief, you don't talk about it because it's offensive" category, which is infuriating sometimes because it's like they refuse to acknowledge it as a problem in legislation.

[RaisdCath]

Over the years, my brother and I have discussed different topics of philosophy and religion many times, some of these have been interesting and constructive...but the last dozen or more times have devolved into nothing but stupid non- sequiturs, straw-men, ad hoc, misinformed accusations, etc. I pretty much learned NOT to discuss religion with him, because I find his ideas unintelligible and he finds mine "implausible."

Yesterday, we hung out, got to talking (by his initiative) about some different topics...talked for a few hours, all good. That's when I should have ended it. Somehow he kept bringing up theistic buzz words like "soul" "determinism," "globs of matter," no moral responsibility," "no free will," and I don't want to bore you with the details, but basically kept throwing the same nonsense at me that I see refuted here everyday, but he does so with an arrogance that is cringe-worthy. I'm ashamed to say, it turned into another big waste of time involving a lot of silly name-calling (although I don't feel bad for calling his views "bulllshit" or "unintelligent") and I asked myself again, "WHY even TRY talking with people like that about religion?" And he's my brother, so it kinda sucks that this always happens and I have to feel that way towards him.

But his ideas, which he thinks are absolutely brilliant, ARE SO FUCKING DUMB! And anyone who researches these things objectively (that is, doubting your science, thinking it could ALL be wrong, and doubting your religion, thinking that could ALL be wrong...heh, good luck with that) SHOULD see that. That's how I think, ya know?

Ok, I got that out, so: are there friends or relatives that you will NOT discuss religion with because it always leads to nowhere good?

Yes indeed.....spouse.

[CindysRain]

98% of my family are christians, so yea, I cannot discuss my atheist views with them. I'm the foretold scoffer, and I'm alright with that.

I had to block a cousin on facebook, because of her continual religious postings, particularly against the gay lifestyle. Originally, I confronted her on this, defending everyone's rights to live as they please, and guess what she did? She went from a very sweet cousin to a whiny, victimized, why are you persecuting me cousin. How dare I have an opinion of my own!

I honestly don't care what others believe. The issue I have with "some" christians, is that they have this unspoken rule - we get to openly talk about our god, anytime and anywhere - all are welcome to join in - as long as you agree with us.

Sigh, rambling away here.

[Jenny A]

I didn't talk to my dad about religion (let him say his nonsense) for years and years. Only the past year did I ever have a real conversation with him about it. He dismissed my views (based on reason) as a "phase". Yeah I'm 25. I've felt the same way since I was 11. I'm sure that's a "phase". I'll find the light one day I'm sure Won't be bringing it back up to him.

That sounds very familiar. I released I didn't believe very early. I didn't tell my folks until it came time for confirmation. I had to then because I wasn't willing to stand up and swear to believe in something I didn't believe in. In fairness the pastor stood up for me. He didn't want an non-believer participating.

I was told it was an adolescent phase. I explained that I had never believed and had spent confirmation classes giving it a try. Don't think they every really believed about that.

Even now (I'm a little over 5), they "forget" I'm atheist, as if it might just go about like a cold.

[Ravenshire]

I try not to discuss religion IRL, especially at work, simply because I don't want to start shit. Christers are crazy. You never know what they're gonna do!

That being said, I never hide my atheism. If asked about my religious beliefs, I'll tell them none at all. If they persist or try to evangelize me, the gloves come off, except at work. If they get preachy at work, I'll just walk away. If they follow, I'll head straight to HR. I'm not risking my job over their crazy.

Amongst my family the only one I talk to anymore is Dad. He knows I don't believe (just don't say the word atheist around him) and doesn't overtly push his BS on me. Probably because he wasn't very religious until after mom died. My brothers are lost causes. Not because they're religiocrazy but because they're assholes. Haven't seen or spoken to either since mom died and after them blaming me for decisions dad made (and mom wanted) that they didn't like I have no reason to try any farther. The wife is a "feel-good" believer that doesn't know shit about Christianity and the kids have both outgrown invisible friends and one is bi and thinks the christers are nuts.

So, I would say yeah, there are a lot of people I can't talk to about their delusions.

[vorlon13]

I have some gay friends really into MCC. To the extent that denomination annoys, bedevils, and aggravates the fundamentalists, I'm willing to turn a blind eye to the silliness. I have attended some services (back in the 80s) and thought it was a rehash and homogenization of pretty much all the protestant folderol I had been exposed to.

The pastor was drop dead hot too. Might have something to do with my tolerance of it . . .

[RobbyPants]

I don't talk to my parents about it. As far as I can tell, they're thinking I'm going through a phase and are largely pretending it's not happening. Bear in mind, I'm in my 30s, and was over 30 when I came out to them. It's been brought up two times in several years, and we don't talk about it at all.

Luckily, I have very few religious people forcing uncomfortable talks of religion on me in meatspace.

[vorlon13]

Most intense discussion I ever had was with a Catholic childless married couple I knew and I approached them about considering the adoption of an HIV+ infant.

I was very specific about only asking for the consideration and not to actually adopt. In that time frame it was expected most if not all pediatric AIDS cases would end in death, and I was clear about that, and noted their faith would be helpful for the duration.

I made my case for it, didn't cry or anything (I really expected to) and left insisting they not decide either way for a month, I was aware of what I was asking them to consider. They indicated they would consider, they did not dismiss it out right and I left with the impression they would talk to their priest about it.

Just a couple of weeks later, he had a job offer as a lead engineer at a large company near were they had both grown up. While they we saying goodbye, they mentioned they would consider the adoption after they had completed the move and saw how well the new job was working out.

This was back in the 80s, I lost touch with them after I moved a few months after that. Since, I have found a couple patents granted to him, but very little else online besides a few posts on a rare car forum looking for parts. I'm thinking they didn't adopt, but I don't know.

If they did talk to a priest about it, would be curious how that went.

---

I'd say, over the years, my discussion on religion with people has been confined to strangers, as for family members, I don't recall anything since reaching adult hood other than my sis attempting to reassure me her new Baptist congregation was VERY liberal. For Baptists, whatever that means.

[Whateverist]

My brother became Mormon a little over 20 years ago. At first it was no big deal, but after my mother joined the cult about a decade ago things changed. The timing could be coincidence, but he then started religious based conversation just to ask "why is reason considered superior to revelation" when I started handing him his ass. Things progressively got worse in that conversations were consumed with religion. Eventually it got to the point where we've had two strained conversations in the last two years.

I don't like the current situation, but have concluded there is nothing much I can do about it. I won't let the bullshit go unchecked and my attempts to make the subject taboo somehow translate, in his mind, to my tacit approval of his beliefs. Before our estrangement, he quit letting me talk to my niece and nephews. I can only hope that they will reach out to me when they come of age. My niece graduates next year; her three brothers follow in three year intervals. We'll see.

I hate it for you. I know exactly what you're dealing with, but I hesitate to give advice that might only serve to aggravate the situation. You can choose friends, not family; however, there is something particularly sad when someone you grew up with is no longer there (so to speak). I have attempted to make accomodations (religion = taboo), but I refuse to compromise my integrity just to get along if the alternative is a constant barrage of god infused bullshit.

Isn't it surprising how people who should know better walk into that bullshit? My older brother was an angry atheist before he became depressed and finally a Mormon. Of course he is still depressed but the anger is hidden behind a facade of Mormon doctrine. When our mother was dying he sat in the waiting room with us holding the book of Mormon and talking about how this was a happy occasion. (I doubt if the poor bastard would recognize happy if it bit him.)

Sorry for the loss of your brother, Cato. With my brother, we've always disagreed about almost everything but most especially politics. Being atheist was about the only thing we had in common, although I was never angry about it. Our estrangement is pretty mutually satisfying. He is also sexist, racist and homophobic.