This is a collection of poems that tell a story, which is mostly autobiographical.
Since I feel compelled to disclaim: I don't think of myself as much of a poet, and I don't read much poetry. Prose is more my thing. I don't share my work often because I'm pretty private (and insecure) about my writing. That being said, I appreciate any critiques, and you don't have to go easy on me if you think it sucks.
I hope, however, that you find it to your satisfaction.
I: Puppy Days
Good morning, you four naked walls. Good morning and how do you do?
Good morning, stuff, all neatly packed. I hope you’re ready, too!
Good morning, Mom, all bright and smiling, trying not to cry.
Good morning, Dad!
Aren’t you just glad?
I’m finally ready to fly!
I was born on a summer’s morn in the year of '82
It was, I’m sure, a lot like this and many we've all passed through.
The thing called life begins, for real, upon this brilliant day.
Catch me if you can,
‘cause now I’m a man!
And nothing will stand in my way!
II: Newly Arrived
Hey guys, here I am, have yourself a look.
Followed the setting sun awhile, just like in a book.
Hey guys, love this place, everything seems great.
Wishing that I’d done this sooner, least it’s not too late.
Hey guys, let’s go out, kill a beer or three.
I understand, it’s a weekday, no hard feelings from me.
I’m in a brand new town and seeing new faces.
Unfamiliar streets with unprecedented places.
Such a charming little city in its mid-century stasis.
Haven’t had the chance to see a lot but I have a basis.
For falling in love with here.
The time had come to set about and start with something new.
Now I’m here and I’m settled in and I want something to do.
I’ve been by myself for far too long and this is overdue.
Introversion’s about to end; it’s a huge breakthrough.
That’s what I’d hoped at first.
Hey guys, did you know, I’m talking to you?
III: Triangular
Shadows dance arrhythmic waltzes
‘cross sodium-vapor bars.
Ruffle, shuffle, tap.
Window is open and breeze’s blowing,
Stuttering the silhouettes.
Ruffle, shuffle, tap.
Lights are out and the sun is fallen, to the other side.
No one’s looking for me but I have so many places to hide.
Just three shots. I’m alone with my thoughts.
Came all this way, just because, so far from the beginning.
My reward is to witness enthusiasm’s thinning.
Only three drinks, I’m alone with my thinks.
The clock is my company, its ticks conversation.
Raindrops on windows talk me into sedation.
A trio of screams in my harrowing dreams.
Shadows dance
arrhythmic
waltzes ‘cross
sodium
vapor bars
Ruffle, shuffle, tap.
Window is
open and
a breeze is
intruding
Ruffle, shuffle
Shutter the blinds.
IV: Complex Inferiority
You take up at the table, sunshine, arms crossed and looking down.
Thinking your thoughts, reading your words, lost in your own moment.
Nine hundred seconds, there, within reach.
I’ve seen you coming and I’ve seen you going.
I’ve seen you shine like gold.
I’ve seen you look up and wonder what you see.
You’re no clock but you’ve given me the time of day.
Anxious to hear what I have to say.
Such an exchange, a wealth of words, a fortune of feelings.
A down payment on another one.
Sunshine, shine at night. Shine as hard as you like.
You’d be lost against her smile.
Waste of time to even try.
V: Words Misspoken Carefully
You don’t go away, you don’t leave me be.
Can’t get a moment alone anymore.
All I want is a moment when it was like before.
When I had time to stop and think.
You’re new to it all, I don’t know much myself.
Sunshine, I’m sorry, dry your eyes.
I’m a work in progress, with all that implies.
If you’ll only give me the time.
So this is what all the poets talk about
in circumspect sentences.
A crazed quintet of overloaded senses.
Dumbstruck but ready to shout.
I feel inside and out, all eyes and ears.
All tuned to things I like best.
Ten thousand dreams are made manifest.
For a hundred million years.
She gave me the time and I gave her my time.
I held my tongue and she held my hand.
The message is clear and I understand.
How to fall in love with her.
VI: To Beat The Day
Sunshine, I’m coming
Don’t ever you fear
It’s Christmas morning
The close of the year
You’ve gone home
I’ve stayed inside
This I’ve told you
But I have lied
You don’t know yet
That I’m on the run
To make it to you
Before the sun
Racing fast
Across the state
Hoping I won’t be too late
Doorbell’s ringing
Heart is singing
Candles burning
Stomach’s turning
Five more minutes
I’d see it rise
But I’d prefer your
Sunshine eyes
The moment come
I’m sure, I guess
I ask the question
and you say
VII: Visible Breath in January
There’s a chill in the air these days.
I want to think it’s January calling.
Seems like even when we’re indoors,
the temperature’s always falling
It’s nothing, we say, it’s not a big deal.
Storybooks lining a shelf;
But sometimes you tell me it’s me.
You sure it’s not yourself?
VIII: Fireworks in July
I’m just out here moongazing, why don’t you join me, dear?
The night so still, the crickets sweet, the whisper of the breeze.
At times like this I know why I fell in love with here.
When every star is on display in this mountain air so clear.
Don’t have to spoil it thinking about the inevitable freeze.
Take these and look up, you can see it like it was here.
Is it any wonder they used to think it was a face?
They would surely feel wonder and a whole lot of fear.
So enormous in the sky that they must have thought it near
and not on the other side of a quarter-million miles of space.
The sun's gone down and the air is heavy.
I feel it all over my skin.
Since you have nothing to say, sunshine,
I think I'll head on in.
IX: Has Teeth, Will Bite
Day in and day out, it's always the same.
A peculiar kind of adults-only game.
Today's a bit different. I think I will pass.
Not going to work, skipping a class.
Too much heat in the middle of December
It's been almost a year.
Don't worry.
I remember.
You wanted to speak and you tried really hard
Not answering is almost like my calling card.
How could I know that you were in a hurry?
Is it really worth losing yourself in your fury?
Too much heat in the middle of December
It's been almost a year.
Don't worry.
I'll remember.
Go on and display your defining trait
Scream at me, shout at me, show me your hate
So great on the surface, not so underneath
Sever the line as you sink in your teeth
Too much heat in the middle of December
It was almost a year.
I can't live with your temper.
X: One Thread Yet Dangles
I'm gone, I'm back. I'm where I began.
But that's okay. I can start over anew.
It's nice to be home and see everyone's
doing fine.
Reunions with friends, some from way back
Another chance to rekindle old flames.
It's nice to be free to do all of these things.
About time.
Got a new job and a new group of people
and some of them I actually like.
It's nice to know that such good can result
from the doom
That's why I don't want to talk to you
or hear anything you have to say.
You've accomplished just nothing
making this trip here today.
I meant what I said when I told you
that nothing would make me stay.
I'm finally free of your shit.
Now go away.
XI: Antilocution
I'm gone. I'm back.
I'm where I began.
Defeated and lost.
I've failed again.
Lost all my light.
Replaced it with fear.
This hasn't been
my very best year.
Felt everything's well
as I dwelt in the gloom
with the voices of doubt
locked out of my room.
Enjoying my freedom
and all I had missed
comfortably ignorant
of the hammering fists.
Remembering, thinking
it couldn't be too fast
as the future inexorably
became the new past.
Stare at the walls.
Alone in my bed.
Light up to shut down
The thoughts in my head.
I thought I was smart
Or at least a bit wise.
I no longer wanted
sunshine in my eyes.
If I could go back,
not that I should.
No, never, I wouldn't.
Yes, of course I would.
XII: The Hour Is Nigh
Hey, sunshine, you remember me. Right?
There's so much I wanted to tell you.
I'm so happy you've said hello.
To be honest, I'm a little bit nervous.
I never thought I'd see you again.
It's more than I probably deserve.
Being as wrong as I was.
How could I have ever said no?
How could I have been so wrong?
How could I have said to you
Get out of my life
So I can be free.
I have a fonder heart with absence.
It's not made of gold nor fit to inhabit
this empty husk of mine.
You're so much more than I thought.
I was so angry I forgot I was happy.
You're more than I probably deserve.
You stand before me, as if no time has passed.
I'm holding your hand tight with mine.
Blinded by the radiance as you cast
upon me your dazzling sunshine.
It'll feel as bad as a physical ache
when I lean in to catch your sweet kiss
as the alarm demands that I wake.
XIII: The Number
Wasting my days has become my new test.
Ceasing to care is my new saving grace.
No heart of gold beats inside this chest.
I wagered it all and still lost the race.
I want to set alight this verdant wood
and breathe in deep to capture the ghosts.
I shouldn't but I most certainly could
be filled with joy as everything roasts.
I doubt I'll be a man of great wealth
Got a fortunate number but never much cash.
So I'll dedicate this one to my own health
And I'll watch it go up in a flash.
Feel a lot better than I did before.
Not as much do my troubles encumber.
Enough to get by, not a great deal more.
Enough to make myself number.
XIV: Doorknocker
Listen to my words as I tell of a man.
He went down under and came up again.
Never the same, though, not after that.
Pull up a chair and don't mind the cat.
He followed mistakes with several more.
He followed his dreams into brick walls.
He followed with a gainless implore.
Which was followed by nothing at all.
A million years, it seemed, was the wait.
Pretending it wasn't already too late.
It was his heart which made him act so.
It was his heart, why he always said no.
They both were frustrated in their own ways.
She wanted, he wanted, both needed, none got.
Much later, after the passing of thousands of days,
they loved, they argued, they kissed, they fought.
Sometimes she wondered why he chose to pursue.
She wasn't sunshine but he thought she'd do?
No, never, not ever, his love's absolute.
She's the love of his life, not a cheap substitute.
And so, that was the story, it's finished at last,
At least, that part upon which his life pivots.
To you, it may seem like it happened so fast.
Of course, you weren't there to live it.
XV: Into the Blue
Sometimes, when times are tough and things go wrong,
and I feel like I'm no good at all,
I take one look into your lovely eyes.
Understanding arrives.
A million regrets but not a thing I'd change.
Since I feel compelled to disclaim: I don't think of myself as much of a poet, and I don't read much poetry. Prose is more my thing. I don't share my work often because I'm pretty private (and insecure) about my writing. That being said, I appreciate any critiques, and you don't have to go easy on me if you think it sucks.
I hope, however, that you find it to your satisfaction.
I: Puppy Days
Good morning, you four naked walls. Good morning and how do you do?
Good morning, stuff, all neatly packed. I hope you’re ready, too!
Good morning, Mom, all bright and smiling, trying not to cry.
Good morning, Dad!
Aren’t you just glad?
I’m finally ready to fly!
I was born on a summer’s morn in the year of '82
It was, I’m sure, a lot like this and many we've all passed through.
The thing called life begins, for real, upon this brilliant day.
Catch me if you can,
‘cause now I’m a man!
And nothing will stand in my way!
II: Newly Arrived
Hey guys, here I am, have yourself a look.
Followed the setting sun awhile, just like in a book.
Hey guys, love this place, everything seems great.
Wishing that I’d done this sooner, least it’s not too late.
Hey guys, let’s go out, kill a beer or three.
I understand, it’s a weekday, no hard feelings from me.
I’m in a brand new town and seeing new faces.
Unfamiliar streets with unprecedented places.
Such a charming little city in its mid-century stasis.
Haven’t had the chance to see a lot but I have a basis.
For falling in love with here.
The time had come to set about and start with something new.
Now I’m here and I’m settled in and I want something to do.
I’ve been by myself for far too long and this is overdue.
Introversion’s about to end; it’s a huge breakthrough.
That’s what I’d hoped at first.
Hey guys, did you know, I’m talking to you?
III: Triangular
Shadows dance arrhythmic waltzes
‘cross sodium-vapor bars.
Ruffle, shuffle, tap.
Window is open and breeze’s blowing,
Stuttering the silhouettes.
Ruffle, shuffle, tap.
Lights are out and the sun is fallen, to the other side.
No one’s looking for me but I have so many places to hide.
Just three shots. I’m alone with my thoughts.
Came all this way, just because, so far from the beginning.
My reward is to witness enthusiasm’s thinning.
Only three drinks, I’m alone with my thinks.
The clock is my company, its ticks conversation.
Raindrops on windows talk me into sedation.
A trio of screams in my harrowing dreams.
Shadows dance
arrhythmic
waltzes ‘cross
sodium
vapor bars
Ruffle, shuffle, tap.
Window is
open and
a breeze is
intruding
Ruffle, shuffle
Shutter the blinds.
IV: Complex Inferiority
You take up at the table, sunshine, arms crossed and looking down.
Thinking your thoughts, reading your words, lost in your own moment.
Nine hundred seconds, there, within reach.
I’ve seen you coming and I’ve seen you going.
I’ve seen you shine like gold.
I’ve seen you look up and wonder what you see.
You’re no clock but you’ve given me the time of day.
Anxious to hear what I have to say.
Such an exchange, a wealth of words, a fortune of feelings.
A down payment on another one.
Sunshine, shine at night. Shine as hard as you like.
You’d be lost against her smile.
Waste of time to even try.
V: Words Misspoken Carefully
You don’t go away, you don’t leave me be.
Can’t get a moment alone anymore.
All I want is a moment when it was like before.
When I had time to stop and think.
You’re new to it all, I don’t know much myself.
Sunshine, I’m sorry, dry your eyes.
I’m a work in progress, with all that implies.
If you’ll only give me the time.
So this is what all the poets talk about
in circumspect sentences.
A crazed quintet of overloaded senses.
Dumbstruck but ready to shout.
I feel inside and out, all eyes and ears.
All tuned to things I like best.
Ten thousand dreams are made manifest.
For a hundred million years.
She gave me the time and I gave her my time.
I held my tongue and she held my hand.
The message is clear and I understand.
How to fall in love with her.
VI: To Beat The Day
Sunshine, I’m coming
Don’t ever you fear
It’s Christmas morning
The close of the year
You’ve gone home
I’ve stayed inside
This I’ve told you
But I have lied
You don’t know yet
That I’m on the run
To make it to you
Before the sun
Racing fast
Across the state
Hoping I won’t be too late
Doorbell’s ringing
Heart is singing
Candles burning
Stomach’s turning
Five more minutes
I’d see it rise
But I’d prefer your
Sunshine eyes
The moment come
I’m sure, I guess
I ask the question
and you say
VII: Visible Breath in January
There’s a chill in the air these days.
I want to think it’s January calling.
Seems like even when we’re indoors,
the temperature’s always falling
It’s nothing, we say, it’s not a big deal.
Storybooks lining a shelf;
But sometimes you tell me it’s me.
You sure it’s not yourself?
VIII: Fireworks in July
I’m just out here moongazing, why don’t you join me, dear?
The night so still, the crickets sweet, the whisper of the breeze.
At times like this I know why I fell in love with here.
When every star is on display in this mountain air so clear.
Don’t have to spoil it thinking about the inevitable freeze.
Take these and look up, you can see it like it was here.
Is it any wonder they used to think it was a face?
They would surely feel wonder and a whole lot of fear.
So enormous in the sky that they must have thought it near
and not on the other side of a quarter-million miles of space.
The sun's gone down and the air is heavy.
I feel it all over my skin.
Since you have nothing to say, sunshine,
I think I'll head on in.
IX: Has Teeth, Will Bite
Day in and day out, it's always the same.
A peculiar kind of adults-only game.
Today's a bit different. I think I will pass.
Not going to work, skipping a class.
Too much heat in the middle of December
It's been almost a year.
Don't worry.
I remember.
You wanted to speak and you tried really hard
Not answering is almost like my calling card.
How could I know that you were in a hurry?
Is it really worth losing yourself in your fury?
Too much heat in the middle of December
It's been almost a year.
Don't worry.
I'll remember.
Go on and display your defining trait
Scream at me, shout at me, show me your hate
So great on the surface, not so underneath
Sever the line as you sink in your teeth
Too much heat in the middle of December
It was almost a year.
I can't live with your temper.
X: One Thread Yet Dangles
I'm gone, I'm back. I'm where I began.
But that's okay. I can start over anew.
It's nice to be home and see everyone's
doing fine.
Reunions with friends, some from way back
Another chance to rekindle old flames.
It's nice to be free to do all of these things.
About time.
Got a new job and a new group of people
and some of them I actually like.
It's nice to know that such good can result
from the doom
That's why I don't want to talk to you
or hear anything you have to say.
You've accomplished just nothing
making this trip here today.
I meant what I said when I told you
that nothing would make me stay.
I'm finally free of your shit.
Now go away.
XI: Antilocution
I'm gone. I'm back.
I'm where I began.
Defeated and lost.
I've failed again.
Lost all my light.
Replaced it with fear.
This hasn't been
my very best year.
Felt everything's well
as I dwelt in the gloom
with the voices of doubt
locked out of my room.
Enjoying my freedom
and all I had missed
comfortably ignorant
of the hammering fists.
Remembering, thinking
it couldn't be too fast
as the future inexorably
became the new past.
Stare at the walls.
Alone in my bed.
Light up to shut down
The thoughts in my head.
I thought I was smart
Or at least a bit wise.
I no longer wanted
sunshine in my eyes.
If I could go back,
not that I should.
No, never, I wouldn't.
Yes, of course I would.
XII: The Hour Is Nigh
Hey, sunshine, you remember me. Right?
There's so much I wanted to tell you.
I'm so happy you've said hello.
To be honest, I'm a little bit nervous.
I never thought I'd see you again.
It's more than I probably deserve.
Being as wrong as I was.
How could I have ever said no?
How could I have been so wrong?
How could I have said to you
Get out of my life
So I can be free.
I have a fonder heart with absence.
It's not made of gold nor fit to inhabit
this empty husk of mine.
You're so much more than I thought.
I was so angry I forgot I was happy.
You're more than I probably deserve.
You stand before me, as if no time has passed.
I'm holding your hand tight with mine.
Blinded by the radiance as you cast
upon me your dazzling sunshine.
It'll feel as bad as a physical ache
when I lean in to catch your sweet kiss
as the alarm demands that I wake.
XIII: The Number
Wasting my days has become my new test.
Ceasing to care is my new saving grace.
No heart of gold beats inside this chest.
I wagered it all and still lost the race.
I want to set alight this verdant wood
and breathe in deep to capture the ghosts.
I shouldn't but I most certainly could
be filled with joy as everything roasts.
I doubt I'll be a man of great wealth
Got a fortunate number but never much cash.
So I'll dedicate this one to my own health
And I'll watch it go up in a flash.
Feel a lot better than I did before.
Not as much do my troubles encumber.
Enough to get by, not a great deal more.
Enough to make myself number.
XIV: Doorknocker
Listen to my words as I tell of a man.
He went down under and came up again.
Never the same, though, not after that.
Pull up a chair and don't mind the cat.
He followed mistakes with several more.
He followed his dreams into brick walls.
He followed with a gainless implore.
Which was followed by nothing at all.
A million years, it seemed, was the wait.
Pretending it wasn't already too late.
It was his heart which made him act so.
It was his heart, why he always said no.
They both were frustrated in their own ways.
She wanted, he wanted, both needed, none got.
Much later, after the passing of thousands of days,
they loved, they argued, they kissed, they fought.
Sometimes she wondered why he chose to pursue.
She wasn't sunshine but he thought she'd do?
No, never, not ever, his love's absolute.
She's the love of his life, not a cheap substitute.
And so, that was the story, it's finished at last,
At least, that part upon which his life pivots.
To you, it may seem like it happened so fast.
Of course, you weren't there to live it.
XV: Into the Blue
Sometimes, when times are tough and things go wrong,
and I feel like I'm no good at all,
I take one look into your lovely eyes.
Understanding arrives.
A million regrets but not a thing I'd change.
