joke time

[Minimalist]

A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night goes to his mother with the following question, “Mum, why are wedding dresses white?”
The mother looks at her son and replies, “Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure.”
The son thanks his mother and goes off to double-check this with his father, “Dad why are wedding dresses white?”
The father looks at his son in surprise and says, “Son, all household appliances come in white.”

[Little lunch]

Alcohol and drugs are not the answer.


Unless the question is, 'why did you do a big shit on the street in front of everyone?'

[ignoramus]

[Rhondazvous]

A woman put a plate of raw oats and hay on the table in front of her husband.
woman: I'm tired of you telling me when your mother fed you, you ate like a horse.

[purplepurpose]

I get christian ads about power of the prayer on this site(im not joking).

[Brian37]

I get christian ads about power of the prayer on this site(im not joking).

That is not he website doing it, that is a add generator the server company uses. The entire web is like that. Big business uses programs that track what they think your interests are by your word searches and clicks, sometimes what the add generator spits out isn't what you are into.

FB does that. I once made a post about a Redskins Cowboys game, next thing I know there is a banner add on the side for NFL merchandise but gave me a Cowboys add and I am a Redskins fan.

[Minimalist]

A group  of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on   a field trip to the local racetrack, (Churchill Downs) to learn about  thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry (Bourbon), but mostly to see the  horses.
 
When it  was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls  would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.
 
The  teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the  boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal. Having no  choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting  the little boys up one by one, holding on to their 'wee-wees' to direct the flow  away from their clothes.
 
As she  lifted one little guy, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well  endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, "You must be  in the 5th." 
 
"No  ma'am he replied, "I'm riding Silver Arrow in the 7th but I appreciate  your help."

[Rhondazvous]

I get christian ads about power of the prayer on this site(im not joking).

Prayer is powerful. It's a great way to exercise your lip muscles. And see what yourself has to say to yourself.

[The Valkyrie]

I get christian ads about power of the prayer on this site(im not joking).

Prayer is powerful. It's a great way to exercise your lip muscles. And see what yourself has to say to yourself.

Jebus, who art in the imagination,
Fiction be thy name...

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Two elderly gents are sitting on a park bench. Long time friends, they're sharing a comfortable silence til one says, 'So, Herb...you wanna buy an elephant?'

'Excuse me?'

'Elephant. Wanna buy one?'

'The cheese has slipped off your cracker, mate.'

'Maybe, maybe not. So, about the elephant...'

'No, you old fool, I don't wanna buy an elephant.'

'You sure? Top of the line elephant, we're talking about.'

'Have your ears gone along with your mind? I'm not interested in buying an elephant.'

'Well, think about it. Best elephant you'll ever find.'

'LOOK! FOR THE LAST TIME...I DO NOT WANT TO BUY AN ELEPHANT!!!'

'Really? I can get it for you wholesale.'

'I'll take two.'

Boru