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RE: joke time
June 11, 2017 at 7:15 pm
I see the bloke who played Bruce Wayne has died. Hope the one that played Batman is okay, they must be about the same age.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
June 11, 2017 at 7:20 pm
Why did Hitler commit suicide?
He didn't want to pay the gas bill
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RE: joke time
June 11, 2017 at 7:41 pm
(This post was last modified: June 11, 2017 at 7:47 pm by chimp3.)
What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe with Lassie?
A Melon-Collie Baby!
Christian to Jesus: How much is a penny worth in heaven?
Jesus: A billion dollars.
Christian: How long is a minute in heaven?
Jesus: A billion years.
Christian : Can you give me a penny?
Jesus: In just a minute!
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!
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RE: joke time
June 12, 2017 at 10:45 am
What cop team do you get when you cross a st. bernard with a potetoe?
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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RE: joke time
June 12, 2017 at 10:58 am
I always find it funny that they call Foster's beer cans "oil cans", I certainly hope I never pop a can and find real oil in it.
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RE: joke time
June 12, 2017 at 1:40 pm
What a shame about Adam West dying. He did the best tinned salmon.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
June 12, 2017 at 9:50 pm
So why did Brian go to sleep with a can of Foster's beer?
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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RE: joke time
June 12, 2017 at 10:13 pm
A man went to stay at a monastary. He took vows of silence. Every 3 years he could say 1 short phrase.
After his first 3 years he said "cold floors!"
After his second 3 years he said "bad food!"
After another 3 years he finally said "I quit!"
A monk there said "I'm not surprised! He's done nothing but complain since he got here!"
Sent from my LGL52VL using Tapatalk
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RE: joke time
June 13, 2017 at 5:27 am
(This post was last modified: June 13, 2017 at 5:27 am by ignoramus.)
I had to let a fart out on a bus in my morning commute.
I tried to keep it quiet but it got the better of me.
Alas, 4 people turned around! I felt like a contestant on "The Voice"
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: joke time
June 13, 2017 at 5:57 am
(This post was last modified: June 13, 2017 at 5:58 am by BrianSoddingBoru4.)
I recently got a traffic ticket for swerving all over the road. I explained to the cop that I was just trying to change the radio.
To prove it, I showed him the one I had just taken out.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax