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RE: joke time
June 17, 2018 at 2:44 am
(This post was last modified: June 17, 2018 at 3:41 am by The Valkyrie.)
A Greek and an Italian were arguing over whose culture had contributed most to human civilization.
"We have the Parthenon!" said the Greek.
"We have the Colosseum!" countered the Italian.
"We invented mathematics," said the Greek.
"We built the Roman Empire!" said the Italian.
"We invented sex!" Said the Greek.
"That's true," admitted the Italian, "But we were the ones who thought to involve women."
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
June 17, 2018 at 2:45 am
What's the most unrealistic thing about the Harry Potter movies and books?
A ginger kid has friends.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
June 24, 2018 at 3:29 pm
A cranky older woman “in her senior years” was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store. She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the security guard to the arresting officer who took her away. She complained and criticized everything and everyone throughout the process.
When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked her what she had stolen from the store.
The lady defiantly replied, “Just a stupid can of peaches you old fool.”
The judge then asked why she had done it.
She replied, “I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store.”
The judge asked how many peaches were in the can.
She replied in a nasty tone, “Nine! But why do you care about that?”
The judge answered patiently, “Well, ma’am, because I’m going to give you nine days in jail—one day for each peach.”
As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady’s long-suffering husband raised his hand slowly and asked if he might speak.
“Yes, sir, what do you have to add?” The husband said meekly, “Your Honor, she also stole two cans of peas.”
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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RE: joke time
June 26, 2018 at 1:17 am
Did you ever stop to think that maybe God was really a woman, and when she spoke to Moses she didn't speak AS a burning bush, but just had Chlamydia?
The whole tone of Church teaching in regard to woman is, to the last degree, contemptuous and degrading. - Elizabeth Cady Stanton
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RE: joke time
June 26, 2018 at 3:39 am
Hey!!
Sexually transmitted diseases are nothing to clap about.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
June 26, 2018 at 3:45 am
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: joke time
June 26, 2018 at 4:54 am
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
June 26, 2018 at 8:51 am
"Alone is what I have. Alone protects me."
“I may be on the side of the angels but don’t think for one second that I am one of them.”
“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existence. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery each day."
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RE: joke time
June 29, 2018 at 4:02 am
I've misplaced my mobile phone! I've tried calling it but to no avail. I remember having it on silent mode.
Anyway, it's my fault, if I wanted it that bad, I should've put a ring on it.
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.