I came close to death yesterday...
I jerked off in a cemetery.
I jerked off in a cemetery.
Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 15, 2024, 10:54 am
Thread Rating:
|
joke time
|
Tesco have announced that they will be adding a new beer to their value real ale range.
Alongside the affordable Simply Golden Ale and the inexpensive Simply Dark, they're adding Simply Red, for when money's too tight to mention.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
I've given up drinking and I've been dry now for a week, which has made everyone happy.
Apart from my bedside lamp. Now it won't talk to me.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
An Irishman walks out of a bar.
freedomfromfallacy » I'm weighing my tears to see if the happy ones weigh the same as the sad ones.
Stupid joke time:
Ray Comfort Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
freedomfromfallacy » I'm weighing my tears to see if the happy ones weigh the same as the sad ones.
This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention.
The driver got out and he was a dwarf. He said, "I'm not happy." I replied, "Well, which one are you then?" Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
One day Snow White was stumbling through the forest, escaping her evil stepmother, when she found a house in a secluded clearing.
She walked inside and found a number of beds. Being exhausted she fell into one of the beds and sank into a deep sleep. When she woke up several hours later she discovered that her clothes had been removed and a naked dwarf was lying next to her. She had just encountered the 8th dwarf, Sleazy. And that's why he wasn't in the movie! Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"  RE: joke time
November 4, 2014 at 7:58 pm
(This post was last modified: November 4, 2014 at 7:58 pm by BrianSoddingBoru4.)
Never been a big fan of Snow White. But Goldilocks? Now THAT'S a different story.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
RE: joke time
November 4, 2014 at 9:25 pm
(This post was last modified: November 4, 2014 at 9:28 pm by The Valkyrie.)
What do you have if you have two green balls in your hand?
Total control of the Incredible Hulk. (November 4, 2014 at 7:58 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Never been a big fan of Snow White. But Goldilocks? Now THAT'S a different story. Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" |
|
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »
|
| Possibly Related Threads... | |||||
| Thread | Author | Replies | Views | Last Post | |
| No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! | Jehanne | 10 | 2748 |
April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm Last Post: arewethereyet |
|
| A sacred joke. | Mystic | 15 | 3310 |
January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm Last Post: Cyberman |
|
| Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke | Brian37 | 1 | 1607 |
May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm Last Post: vorlon13 |
|
| There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! | Minimalist | 3 | 2539 |
October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm Last Post: Zidneya |
|
| Joke | Minimalist | 59 | 18797 |
June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am Last Post: Ravenshire |
|
| A little joke | Sup | 11 | 4743 |
April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4 |
|
| Evolution (is a) joke | JesusLover1 | 12 | 9434 |
March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm Last Post: Minimalist |
|
| Preacher joke 02 | Drich | 2 | 1993 |
February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am Last Post: NoraBrimstone |
|
| Preacher joke 01 | Drich | 8 | 4844 |
January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am Last Post: Drich |
|
| Make Up An Atheist Joke | freedomfromforum | 5 | 3050 |
October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am Last Post: Angrboda |
|
Users browsing this thread: 284 Guest(s)
