That's messed up. LOL
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joke time
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  RE: joke time
October 30, 2014 at 9:55 pm
(This post was last modified: October 30, 2014 at 9:55 pm by Tartarus Sauce.)
(October 30, 2014 at 9:49 pm)Stimbo Wrote:(October 30, 2014 at 9:40 pm)Tartarus Sauce Wrote: The dog Never got a new one after the bedroom incident with the last one, huh? 
freedomfromfallacy » I'm weighing my tears to see if the happy ones weigh the same as the sad ones.
Anyone else have one of those days when you feel like you've walked into the middle of a conversation..?
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
Do You Think It's Getting Serious?
The couple's daughter was out on her second date with her young suitor. Back at home, mom and pop were enjoying a quiet evening alone and watching a movie, while they waited for the budding lovers to return home. Mom was seated on the couch and pop had stretched out with his head in her lap. Mom was snacking on some peanuts, when one got away from her and dropped into her husband's ear. It went deep. As he was fiddling and trying to get the stuck peanut dislodged, the lovers returned and walked in on the situation. After a quick synopsis, the young man had an idea. He told the girl's father that he thought he could help. The man agreed to allow him to try. The young fellow walked over and squeezed the man's nostrils shut tight with his fingers and told Pops to blow like he was trying to blow his nose - HARD. The man complied, and the peanut came flying out! Congratulations and kudos all around, some light conversation, and the young fellow bid them all a good night. Later, in bed, the mother remarked how resourceful and clever the young suitor had been, and she asked her husband if he thought the relationship may be taking a more serious turn. "I'll tell you what, sweetness. Next date, you get a peanut stuck in your ear, and after you smell his fingers, you tell me."
So the CEO of Apple has come out of the closet.
But this is Apple we're talking about; there'll be a new CEO coming out next week.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
 
Want to hear a joke about Ebola? You probably won't get it.
I've written a book, "Teach Yourself Falling Down Stairs". Here's an extract:
Step 1 Step 4 Steps 7, 8, 9, 10.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb? Well, more than 5, because my basement's still dark.
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