Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: June 3, 2026, 5:24 pm
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
joke time
ignoramus Offline
wiggle wiggle
*****
Religious Views: n/a
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation: 110
#3141
RE: joke time
May 16, 2019 at 7:14 pm
That's why the wife won't take me grocery shopping.
She's in the veggie isle and I go straight for the chips, lollies and frozen dinners...
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Find
Reply
Fireball Offline
Refractory Member
*****
Religious Views: Nullifidian
Posts: 10701
Threads: 22
Joined: September 8, 2015
Reputation: 79
#3142
RE: joke time
May 16, 2019 at 9:57 pm
My shopping is the other way around. I can go to CostCo with a list and get asked about all the stuff I didn't bring home that wasn't on the list. Takes me 45 minutes, including driving time. The wife goes and comes back about 2 hours later with all kinds of stuff that's gonna rot before we get to it. I have a foot surgery coming up, (getting a neat little knee scooter instead of crutches!). I'm trying to get the scooter early so that I can rig it for carrying my food to the table. It's going to be a few weeks of no cooking, laundry or house cleaning for the old Fireball.  Angel
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Find
Reply
vulcanlogician Offline
δικαιοσύνη
****
Religious Views: I Grok Spock
Posts: 5812
Threads: 86
Joined: November 19, 2017
Reputation: 59
#3143
RE: joke time
May 16, 2019 at 10:06 pm
Quote:In space, two aliens are talking to each other.
The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."

The second alien asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"

The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have aimed at themselves"
Find
Reply
ignoramus Offline
wiggle wiggle
*****
Religious Views: n/a
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation: 110
#3144
RE: joke time
May 20, 2019 at 1:01 am (This post was last modified: May 20, 2019 at 1:02 am by ignoramus.)
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?


No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Find
Reply
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
Power-Drunk Administrator
********
Religious Views: Headology
Posts: 51330
Threads: 560
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation: 109
#3145
RE: joke time
May 20, 2019 at 10:57 am
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?




Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Find
Reply
onlinebiker Offline
Senior Member
****
Religious Views: cynical S.O.B.
Posts: 9538
Threads: 410
Joined: October 3, 2018
Reputation: 17
#3146
RE: joke time
May 20, 2019 at 4:02 pm
I'm never getting married again.

I'll just buy some woman I hate a house.
Find
Reply
Jackie Offline
Previous username: Brian37
RationalPoet
*****
Religious Views: JGH 1933-2017 RIP MOM
Posts: 30739
Threads: 2127
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation: 71
#3147
RE: joke time
May 23, 2019 at 7:19 am
Fun fact, Trump was the old fart on the golf course and The New Kids On The Block ripped off his original lyrics.


"Oh O Oh O Oh O orange turd, What's in my asshole, A BUTT PLUG"
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Find
Reply
onlinebiker Offline
Senior Member
****
Religious Views: cynical S.O.B.
Posts: 9538
Threads: 410
Joined: October 3, 2018
Reputation: 17
#3148
RE: joke time
May 23, 2019 at 10:36 am
When I was in a wheelchair I wanted to be a stand- up comedian........
Find
Reply
no one Offline
That thing that should not be
****
Religious Views: Certainly not
Posts: 6112
Threads: 53
Joined: September 25, 2018
Reputation: 20
#3149
RE: joke time
May 23, 2019 at 10:40 am
Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?


Neither one, they both eat out.
Find
Reply
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
Power-Drunk Administrator
********
Religious Views: Headology
Posts: 51330
Threads: 560
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation: 109
#3150
RE: joke time
May 27, 2019 at 8:58 am
If A is for apple and B is for banana, what is C for?




Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! Jehanne 10 4325 April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm
Last Post: awty
  A sacred joke. Mystic 15 5622 January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke Jackie 1 2227 May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! Minimalist 3 3362 October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Last Post: Zidneya
  Joke Minimalist 59 25937 June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am
Last Post: Ravenshire
  A little joke Sup 11 6461 April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Evolution (is a) joke JesusLover1 12 11431 March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Preacher joke 02 Drich 2 2612 February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Preacher joke 01 Drich 8 6208 January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am
Last Post: Drich
  Make Up An Atheist Joke freedomfromforum 5 3900 October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am
Last Post: Angrboda



Users browsing this thread: 6 Guest(s)