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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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joke time
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#3331
RE: joke time
September 17, 2019 at 8:39 am
Yesterday, I ate two pieces of string.  Today, they came out tied.




Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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Fake Messiah Offline
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#3332
RE: joke time
September 17, 2019 at 9:30 pm
[job interview]
interviewer: so god killed all your kids?
job: that's right
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#3333
RE: joke time
September 18, 2019 at 6:27 am
'So, are you going to ask me out to dinner?'

'Sorry, but I don't date married women.'

'I'm your wife!'

'No exceptions.'

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#3334
RE: joke time
September 21, 2019 at 6:17 am
'What an adorable dog!  Did you adopt him?'

'No, he's my biological dog, you fucking idiot.'

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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Brian37 Offline
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#3335
RE: joke time
September 21, 2019 at 1:14 pm
Nixon, "It is not illegal when the President does it."

Trump, "Hold my beer."
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#3336
RE: joke time
September 22, 2019 at 1:52 pm
I once tried to build a ship in a bottle.  It was a lot of fun until they had to break the bottle to let me out.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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Little lunch Offline
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#3337
RE: joke time
September 22, 2019 at 8:26 pm
How did you get in?




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The Valkyrie Offline
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#3338
RE: joke time
September 22, 2019 at 9:10 pm
(September 22, 2019 at 1:52 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I once tried to build a ship in a bottle.  It was a lot of fun until they had to break the bottle to let me out.

Boru

Your missus put the cork in, huh?
Dying to live, living to die.
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Little lunch Offline
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#3339
RE: joke time
October 14, 2019 at 5:31 am
I came around the corner and an old guy had somehow dropped thousands of dollars and the money was blowing all over the footpath.
So for the next ten minutes I helped him gather up all the notes and he said,' sure must suck to be whoever lost all this'.




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Cod Offline
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#3340
RE: joke time
October 14, 2019 at 5:50 am
I was going to donate to a charity that supports the families of people with dementia. I forgot all about it.

I've had 12, 24 maybe 36 jobs. It's literally dozens.

I was at my local Chinese restaurant the other night, the waiter asked me how was my food.. I told him that the chicken was rubbery, he said "Ah thankyou very much."
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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