Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 15, 2024, 11:04 am
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
joke time
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
Power-Drunk Administrator
*******
Religious Views: Headology
Posts: 46311
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation: 109
#4991
RE: joke time
June 3, 2021 at 4:43 am
You know what I hate? When I'm in the middle of a flawlessly logical, tightly reasoned, anti-theism post, and some inconsiderate jogger bounces off my windscreen.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Find
Reply
Darinda Offline
Member
***
Religious Views: None
Posts: 572
Threads: 2
Joined: October 30, 2009
Reputation: 13
#4992
RE: joke time
June 3, 2021 at 9:15 am
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
Find
Reply
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
Power-Drunk Administrator
*******
Religious Views: Headology
Posts: 46311
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation: 109
#4993
RE: joke time
June 4, 2021 at 4:45 am
This morning, my neighbor with the big tits was gardening topless again. I know I shouldn't stare, but I keep hope that his wife will do the same thing.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
*******
Religious Views: Time to end them
Posts: 35310
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 146
#4994
RE: joke time
June 4, 2021 at 8:17 am
An astronomer was nominated but didn't win the Nobel Prize.

But he did get the constellation prize.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
*******
Religious Views: Time to end them
Posts: 35310
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 146
#4995
RE: joke time
June 4, 2021 at 9:47 am
Them, "The doorman has the day off."

Me, "Vestibuler's day off."

Them, "WTF?"

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
Reply
A. Secular Human Offline
Grand Poobah, Atheist Nerds of the U. S.
***
Religious Views: God who?
Posts: 1605
Threads: 0
Joined: October 2, 2018
Reputation: 11
#4996
RE: joke time
June 4, 2021 at 4:52 pm
(June 3, 2021 at 4:40 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: So, when Aphrodite lies around naked in a giant clam shell, she's a goddess.

But when I do it, I'm "drunk" and, "no longer welcome in the aquarium".

If you look anything like your avatar (the one in front), you're welcome in my aquarium.

It's five gallon.

Do you come in "fun size"?
Disappointing theists since 1968!
Find
Reply
Silver Offline Donators
Previous username: Foxaèr
Faith's Nightmare
*****
Religious Views: Infidel Savant
Posts: 33163
Threads: 1413
Joined: March 15, 2013
Reputation: 152
#4997
RE: joke time
June 4, 2021 at 9:10 pm
[Image: 194260213_339646494222137_81487594764450...e=60E0C91F]
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
*******
Religious Views: Time to end them
Posts: 35310
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 146
#4998
RE: joke time
June 4, 2021 at 9:14 pm
(June 4, 2021 at 9:10 pm)Eleven Wrote: [Image: 194260213_339646494222137_81487594764450...e=60E0C91F]

That joke's older than Moses.

😇😇😇

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
Reply
Silver Offline Donators
Previous username: Foxaèr
Faith's Nightmare
*****
Religious Views: Infidel Savant
Posts: 33163
Threads: 1413
Joined: March 15, 2013
Reputation: 152
#4999
RE: joke time
June 4, 2021 at 9:18 pm
(June 4, 2021 at 9:14 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: That joke's older than Moses.

😇😇😇

Well, I'd never heard it before. Razz
Find
Reply
Fireball Offline
Refractory Member
****
Religious Views: Nullifidian
Posts: 9912
Threads: 21
Joined: September 8, 2015
Reputation: 79
#5000
RE: joke time
June 4, 2021 at 10:06 pm
(June 4, 2021 at 9:18 pm)Eleven Wrote:
(June 4, 2021 at 9:14 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: That joke's older than Moses.

😇😇😇

Well, I'd never heard it before.  Razz

Facepalm Kids. Tongue
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! Jehanne 10 2748 April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm
Last Post: arewethereyet
  A sacred joke. Mystic 15 3310 January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke Brian37 1 1607 May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! Minimalist 3 2539 October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Last Post: Zidneya
  Joke Minimalist 59 18799 June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am
Last Post: Ravenshire
  A little joke Sup 11 4743 April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Evolution (is a) joke JesusLover1 12 9434 March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Preacher joke 02 Drich 2 1993 February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Preacher joke 01 Drich 8 4844 January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am
Last Post: Drich
  Make Up An Atheist Joke freedomfromforum 5 3050 October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am
Last Post: Angrboda



Users browsing this thread: 308 Guest(s)