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RE: joke time
June 10, 2023 at 10:47 am
A journalist asks 4 experts the same Q: "What knowledge has your subject produced in the last 5 years?"
Cosmologist: "We've photographed our 1st black hole"
Biologist: "We made a vaccine for Covid"
Physicist: "We x-rayed a single atom"
Theist: "What do you mean by knowledge?"
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
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RE: joke time
June 11, 2023 at 7:22 am
Amish Sex
An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day, when the daughter said, "My hands are freezing cold!"
The mother replied, "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up."
The daughter did and her hands warmed up.
The next day, the daughter was riding with her boy friend who said, "My hands are freezing cold!"
The girl replied, "Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm them up."
He did and warmed his hands.
The following day, the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter.
He said, "My nose is cold."
The girl replied, "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up."
He did and warmed his nose.
The next day, the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter and he said, "My penis is frozen solid."
The following day, the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother again and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?"
Slightly concerned the mother said, "Why, yes. Why do you ask?"
The daughter replies, "They make one heck of a mess when they defrost, don't they?!"
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
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RE: joke time
June 12, 2023 at 12:40 pm
I always sleep with a bat next to my bed in case someone breaks in and wants to learn about echolocation.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
June 12, 2023 at 5:24 pm
(June 12, 2023 at 12:40 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I always sleep with a bat next to my bed in case someone breaks in and wants to learn about echolocation.
Boru
I use a cetacean for that porpoise.
Disappointing theists since 1968!
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RE: joke time
June 17, 2023 at 12:33 pm
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.
“Why do we have to learn this stuff?” The young man blurted out.
“To save lives,” the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?”The professor stared at the student for a long time. “Physics saves lives,” he said, “because it keeps the idiots out of medical school.”
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RE: joke time
June 17, 2023 at 12:58 pm
A heavyset woman in a sleeveless dress enters a bar, raises her arm revealing an extremely hairy armpit and bellows, ‘Which one of you slobs wants to buy a girl a drink?’
Silence falls for a few seconds, then a drunk in the back calls out, ‘Give the ballerina a double gin and put it on my tab!’
The woman gulps down her free drink, raises her arm a second time - displaying the same un-groomed armpit - and once more bellows, ‘Which one of you slobs wants to buy a girl a drink?’ The same drunk yells out, ‘Give the ballerina a boilermaker and put it on my tab!’
At this point, another patron asks the drunk, ‘You can buy her whatever you like, but I have to ask - what makes you think she’s a ballerina?’
‘Pfft. Any woman who can raise her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina.’
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
June 17, 2023 at 1:28 pm
(June 17, 2023 at 12:58 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: A heavyset woman in a sleeveless dress enters a bar, raises her arm revealing an extremely hairy armpit and bellows, ‘Which one of you slobs wants to buy a girl a drink?’
Silence falls for a few seconds, then a drunk in the back calls out, ‘Give the ballerina a double gin and put it on my tab!’
The woman gulps down her free drink, raises her arm a second time - displaying the same un-groomed armpit - and once more bellows, ‘Which one of you slobs wants to buy a girl a drink?’ The same drunk yells out, ‘Give the ballerina a boilermaker and put it on my tab!’
At this point, another patron asks the drunk, ‘You can buy her whatever you like, but I have to ask - what makes you think she’s a ballerina?’
‘Pfft. Any woman who can raise her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina.’
Boru  That pit!
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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RE: joke time
June 17, 2023 at 3:34 pm
(June 17, 2023 at 12:33 pm)Darinda Wrote: A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.
“Why do we have to learn this stuff?” The young man blurted out.
“To save lives,” the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?”The professor stared at the student for a long time. “Physics saves lives,” he said, “because it keeps the idiots out of medical school.”
Woot!!
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
June 17, 2023 at 4:48 pm
(This post was last modified: June 17, 2023 at 4:52 pm by A. Secular Human.)
(June 17, 2023 at 12:33 pm)Darinda Wrote: A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.
“Why do we have to learn this stuff?” The young man blurted out.
“To save lives,” the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?”The professor stared at the student for a long time. “Physics saves lives,” he said, “because it keeps the idiots out of medical school.”
My med-school bound compadres told me it was O-chem. It's certainly reasonable that there's more than one such gate-keeper course.
For Engineering, it was Calculus.
The year I entered my undergrad EE program, there were about 50 of us. One was female.
Eight of us graduated. One of those was the female.
Q: What do you call the Med School student who gradates last in their class?
A: "Doctor"
Disappointing theists since 1968!
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RE: joke time
June 18, 2023 at 9:27 am
(June 17, 2023 at 12:33 pm)Darinda Wrote: A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.
“Why do we have to learn this stuff?” The young man blurted out.
“To save lives,” the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?”The professor stared at the student for a long time. “Physics saves lives,” he said, “because it keeps the idiots out of medical school.”
Math helps as well.
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