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RE: joke time
January 20, 2018 at 9:03 am
(January 20, 2018 at 1:50 am)ignoramus Wrote: I like these alternate antijokes Jood ...
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why do firemen wear red suspenders?
Iggy will kill me. All I ask is that you do it softly.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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RE: joke time
January 20, 2018 at 9:41 am
A hairdresser turns up at the White house to sort out Trumps hair, she stops at the gates and asks to be let in. The security guard asks "have you got a permit." She replies "No he prefers his hair to be straight."
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RE: joke time
January 20, 2018 at 12:25 pm
If scientists can study monopoles why cant they study stereopoles?
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RE: joke time
January 20, 2018 at 12:30 pm
*clap...clap...clap*
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
January 21, 2018 at 10:50 pm
Sex in the Shower
In a recent survey carried out for a leading toiletries firm 'Brut', people from New Orleans have proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower!
In the survey, 86% of New Orleans's inner city residents said that they have enjoyed sex in the shower.
The other 14% said they hadn't been to prison yet.
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RE: joke time
January 22, 2018 at 1:20 am
(This post was last modified: January 22, 2018 at 1:20 am by ignoramus.)
I thought you were going to say, the other 14% hadn't had a shower yet. lol.
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: joke time
January 22, 2018 at 8:49 am
Q: Why did Jesus die on the cross?
A: He forgot his safe word.
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RE: joke time
January 22, 2018 at 11:20 am
(This post was last modified: January 22, 2018 at 11:21 am by KittyAnn.)
Boy: Marry Me..?
Girl: Do you have a House...?
Boy No.
Girl: Do you have a BMW Car..?
Boy: No.
Girl: How much is Your Salary?
Boy: No Salary, But..
Girl: No But... You have Nothing. How can I Marry You? Leave Please!!
Boy: (talking to Himself) I have one Villa, 3 Property Lands, 3 Ferrari's, 3 Porches… Why would I need to have a BMW? How could i get a Salary When I'm the Boss!
& The Girl Lost her Chance.
Teacher: Why are you Late Today?
Student: Because of sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Student: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”
The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”
Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother?
My name is Paul.
"Alone is what I have. Alone protects me."
“I may be on the side of the angels but don’t think for one second that I am one of them.”
“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existence. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery each day."
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RE: joke time
January 22, 2018 at 1:11 pm
(This post was last modified: January 22, 2018 at 1:11 pm by Fireball.)
A concerned Mother went to her doctor to speak about her teen-aged daughter. She told the doctor that she was rebellious and now sexually inquisitive. She was worried that she was going to have unprotected sex and wondered if she should refuse to let her date until she could get worked up to get birth control. The doctor told her that refusing to let her date would only make her more rebellious and she would do it anyway. He said, "Give her a handful of these condoms and tell her to use them if she really must have sex; however you still don't approve of it."
So the mother goes home. That Friday night she gives her daughter the condoms and has the talk. The daughter laughs and gives the condoms back. The Mother was stunned.The daughter says, ”Don’t worry mom, I’m dating Margaret!”
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.