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joke time
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 (January 16, 2020 at 12:26 am)Fireball Wrote:(January 15, 2020 at 11:05 pm)Rhizomorph13 Wrote: lots and lots! Naked Lunch, The Soft machine, The Ticket that exploded, and Nova Express I have an anthology that has some particularly good bits in it. Queer and Junkie although it has been a minute since I've read any of them. William S. not Edgar Rice 
Want to conduct a séance but don't have an Ouija board? Simply use a Monopoly board instead. Last time I did this it took less than an hour for Elvis to have hotels on Park Lane and Mayfair.
Hummm..."I" before "E" except after "C"...that's weird.
My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well...she's not my girlfriend "yet".
I discovered a new vitamin that fights cancer. I call it ...B9 I also invented a diet pill. It works great but had to quit taking it because of the side effects. Turns out my penis is larger and my hair grew back. And whoa! If you think my hair is nice! When does size truly matter? When it's TOO big! I'm currently working on a new pill I call "Destenze". However...now my shoes don't fit.  (January 23, 2020 at 7:39 pm)Haipule Wrote: Hummm..."I" before "E" except after "C"...that's weird. Jaysus, you even managed to get a non-rule wrong. ‘Weird’ fits the rule because there’s no ‘c’ in it. Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
(January 23, 2020 at 7:50 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:Then what the fuck do I do with "Science"?(January 23, 2020 at 7:39 pm)Haipule Wrote: Hummm..."I" before "E" except after "C"...that's weird.
My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well...she's not my girlfriend "yet".
I discovered a new vitamin that fights cancer. I call it ...B9 I also invented a diet pill. It works great but had to quit taking it because of the side effects. Turns out my penis is larger and my hair grew back. And whoa! If you think my hair is nice! When does size truly matter? When it's TOO big! I'm currently working on a new pill I call "Destenze". However...now my shoes don't fit. 
And a million other exceptions...
It was a silly "non' rule to start with I think...
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear. (January 23, 2020 at 10:39 pm)Haipule Wrote:(January 23, 2020 at 7:50 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Jaysus, you even managed to get a non-rule wrong. ‘Weird’ fits the rule because there’s no ‘c’ in it.Then what the fuck do I do with "Science"? Nothing. This is why 'i before e' is a non-rule - because it has more exceptions than examples. If 'science' followed, it would be spelt 'sceince'. Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
 (January 24, 2020 at 2:26 am)ignoramus Wrote: And a million other exceptions... You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid. Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis. 
I volunteered with some conservationists to help tag endangered species.
Apparently we don't use spray paint. Damn!
Dying to live, living to die.
A man tumbles off of a cliff and manages to grab hold of a lone branch jutting out from the sheer rock face (JUST like in cartoons). He’s too far down to clamber back up, while below him is a 500 foot drop.
Desperate, he raises his eyes to Heaven and says, ‘If there’s anyone listening, please...give me faith.’ Immediately, a voice from the sky intones, ‘If you truly have faith, my son, let go of the branch.’ The man pauses for a few seconds, looks again at the drop below him and says, ‘Umm...is there someone else up there I could talk to?’ Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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