joke time

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I recently boiled a wombat in broth, along with potatoes, onions, celery and carrots.

After all, it’s a mar-soup-ial.

Boru

[ignoramus]

True story.
Another Queensland brother (Lavender Massage and Spa) has just been fined $10,000 for being "open" to business.
It was actually an illegal brothel disguised as a massage clinic. On their front door it said they specialize in "Deep Tissue Massage"



(I might go and get a massage and ask for a "deep tissue massage" and wink profusely! lol)

[The Valkyrie]

True story.
Another Queensland brother (Lavender Massage and Spa) has just been fined $10,000 for being "open" to business.
It was actually an illegal brothel disguised as a massage clinic. On their front door it said they specialize in "Deep Tissue Massage"



(I might go and get a massage and ask for a "deep tissue massage" and wink profusely! lol)

I'm reminded of an exchange from an old TV show.

"We need to find this guy."

"I hear he frequents massage parlours."

"Oh great. There must be hundreds of those places in the city."

"No, I think he actually goes there for a massage."

"Well, there are only about two of those places."

[Fireball]

Feminists are all incels.

I'm here all week, tip your waitron well!

[The Valkyrie]

Feminists are all incels.

I'm here all week, tip your waitron well!

This is why we hate Chads!

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Sean goes to confession, and after the opening exchange, he says, 'I've done a turrible thing, Father.  I've committed adultery. I beg of ye to grant me absolution.'

The priest responds, 'I can't be after absolving you until you make a clean breast of your sin.  Who was the woman?'

'Ah, I can tell ye that, Father.  It would destroy her if I told.'

'Was it Mrs. McGuinness, the butcher's wife?'

'No, Father.  Please don't ask me to tell.'

'Then it might have been Mrs. Crowdy, who works at the bank?

'It wasn't her, Father.  Will ye not give me the penance and absolve me of this awful sin?'

'I am truly sorry, my son, but I cannot.  I suggest you go home and reflect on what you've done.  Come back when you're ready to confess fully.'

Sean leaves the church to find his friend Danny waiting for him.

'Well,' says Danny, 'Did you get forgiven?'

'No, but I got a couple of very promising leads.'

Boru

[The Valkyrie]

I was going to buy a suit of armour, but was worried it would make me look middle-aged.

[Abaddon_ire]

Why are the chinese no good at cricket?


Because they ate all the bats.

[ignoramus]

Reminds me of my other cricket favourite:

Aussies yell at English: I've seen better batters at the fish 'n chip shop!

---

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

My wife once bought me a copy of the Kama Sutra, which put me in an awkward position.

Boru