joke time

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Perhaps he could ruin The Deed of Paksenarrion (one of my favourite fantasy series).  Or they could turn him loose on Discworld.

Can you imagine Peter Jacksons battle of Koom Valley?

I think I’d rather become the love toy of a Greek army battalion than watch that.

Boru

[ignoramus]

[Darinda]

In a small town there were three churches. Recently, the grounds had become overrun with squirrels. The three churches (Methodist, Presbyterian, and Catholic) decided to hold a small meeting regarding what they could do to get rid of the squirrels.

The Methodists show up and say “We’ve thought about it and if the grounds are housing squirrels, it must be God’s will so we’ve decided to just let them stay and not worry about it.”

The Presbytarians arrive and announce that they couldn’t bear to harm one of God’s creatures so a week ago they humanely captured them and set them free in a wooded area. “But” they state, “The squirrels have since returned.”

The spokesperson for the Catholic church stands up. “We came up with an excellent solution.”

Everyone stares at the Catholic questioningly. “We baptised and confirmed the squirrels and now we only see them on Christmas and Easter.”

[The Valkyrie]

If 2020 was an episode of Sesame Street, it would be brought to us by the letters W, T, and F.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Q: What did Peregrine Took do after three pints of ale?

A:

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He felt merry.

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Boru

[Rev. Rye]

Well, that one's obvious enough: the Klan hood has a sizable opening on the bottom.

[The Valkyrie]

I have a fear of giants




Feefiphobia.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Headlines from the Nursery Rhyme Daily:

Spider Questioned In Tuffet Girl’s Disappearance 

Young Blonde Pleads Not Guilty In Home Invasion: Bear Family Skeptical

Place Setting Flees Following Bovine’s Lunar Stunt

Mrs. Hubbard Charged With Canine Neglect

Discarded Water Pail Only Clue In Hill-Tumbling Incident

Boru

[Darinda]

A woman walks into a Ferrari dealership. She browses around, then spots the car of her dreams. She walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the leather upholstery, a small fart escapes her. Extremely embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed, and hopes a salesperson doesn’t pop up right now. But as she turns back, they’re standing next to her is a handsome young salesman.
“Good day Madam, how may I help you?”
Very uncomfortable, she asks, “Sir, what is the price of this fabulous vehicle?”
He answers, “Madam, I’m afraid I can’t say. If you farted just touching it, you’re going to crap yourself when you hear the price.”

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Q: What did ancient Egyptian magicians say after a successful trick?

A:

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’Ptah-da!’

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Boru