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joke time
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Interviewer: Tell me about your greatest strength and how you would apply it to your job with this company.
Applicant: I've always been passionate about being able to afford food. Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
A woman gets out of the shower, smiles and winks at her husband, and says, "I've just shaved myself down there. You know what that means?"
The husband sighs, 'Yes, the drain is clogged again!" Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" (August 31, 2025 at 3:03 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: A woman gets out of the shower, smiles and winks at her husband, and says, "I've just shaved myself down there. You know what that means?" When my wife takes care of that, she calls it a 'Miyagi' - wax on, wax off. Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
I once split a pastry between a couple of pigeons. You might say I filled two birds with one scone.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
I bought a lettuce from a "mama and papa" grocery.
All the leaves were brown... Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" ![[Image: F7ejGBbWEAATRIV.jpg]](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/F7ejGBbWEAATRIV.jpg) Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
When I was at school, the maths teacher asked, ‘If you had £20 and gave £5 to Susan, £5 to Mary, and £5 to Bridget, what would you have?’
Turned out that ‘three blowjobs with enough left over for a kebab’ wasn’t the answer she was looking for. Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
A conspiracy theorist dies and goes to heaven.
God says, “I’ll tell you anything you want to know.” “At last! Who shot JFK?” God says, “Oswald, acting alone.” Conspiracy theorist says, “Shit. This goes even higher than I thought…”
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
The FBI have already started releasing the information they have on Amelia Earhart. It turns out that her last radio transmission was, ‘When will the Epstein files be released? Over.’
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
This is a joke that Google Gemini told me:
Why did the three lesbian bakers start a co-op? They wanted to have their cake and eat each other's, too!
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
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