Worst movie you've seen

[Cyberman]

We've had threads about favourite movies and shows, so I thought I'd redress the balance with one dedicated to the other end of the spectrum. To play, all you have to do is tell us the name of the worst movie you've ever seen, plus a brief synopsis of why it's so crap. By its nature, this thread will definitely contain spoilers.

I suppose I'd better start:

Evan Almighty.

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This pointless sequel to Bruce Almighty fails on the most fundamental plot level, earning the incredible achievement of actually making less sense than the bible version. Evan (Steve Carell), the guy from the most memorable gag in the first film, becomes a laughing stock as that obsessive lunatic building a giant wooden boat miles away from the ocean (insert completely unrelated Ken Ham pic here). Eventually, it's all revealed to be a divine plan to save all those animals and people from a shoddy bursting dam. Roll credits.

Forget that he is given literally no choice to be a modern-day Noah - all his attempts to exercise his free will are simply overridden as he turns more and more into a physical Noah - and forget the posturing over corruption in Congress and shady business deals. All those animals actively travelled to the Ark in order to be rescued, and all those jeering sceptics turned up simply to mock the whole project. In other words, they were only in danger because the Ark was being built - none of them would have needed rescuing at all if Morgan Freeman hadn't forced Carell to build the boat in the first place. Even The Phantom Menace had a more credible plot than this.

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[Darkstar]

The Last Airbender.

The film was met with an overwhelmingly negative critical reception. Many reviewers cited inconsistencies within the plot and between the screenplay and the source material, as well as the acting, writing and casting. The film swept the Golden Raspberry Awards in 2010, with five wins including Worst Picture and has been considered to be one of the worst films ever made.[11]

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The Last Airbender was universally panned by critics and has a rating of 6% on Rotten tomatoes based on 183 reviews with an average rating of 2.9 out of 10. The consensus was "The Last Airbender squanders its popular source material with incomprehensible plotting, horrible acting, and detached joyless direction."[78]

The movie was awful on its own, but as someone who is familiar with the source material, seeing them butcher the plot so badly made me cringe.

[ShaMan]

"They Live" with Rod Piper... Even though I'll probably watch it again
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JI8AMRbqY6w

[Silver]

I tried to watch Begotten, but it was horrible. Could not watch more than five minutes of it.

[Rev. Rye]

Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.

Seriously, just look at it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvUmD2kP_g0

The actors all act like they've just finished chugging an entire bottle of cough syrup before shooting, they had no budget, couldn't even afford to find stock footage of reindeer in snow for the NORTH POLE, the story blatantly disregards every convention of narrative, and is padded out with an entirely unrelated film about Thumbelina COMPLETE WITH CREDITS, has Mark Twain characters in Hawaiian shirts pop up for no reason whatsoever, and features Santa being driven from Fort Lauderdale to the North Pole by something called an "Ice Cream Bunny."

If you can find a film that's even worse than this, I will gladly send you one bottle of every Trappist beer in existence, because you'd clearly need shit-tons of booze to block out the memory.

[psychoslice]

The God father, and all the Rocky movies.

[jesus_wept]

I'm honestly having trouble trying to narrow it down to one film, there's just too many bad films to choose from.

[vorlon13]

Nightfall


Supposedly based on Isaac Asimov's greatest short story of the same name, the movie was beyond bad, and not even unintentionally funny.

The plot of the short story:

A civilization on a planet in a star system with (IIRC) 6 suns only experiences 1 nightfall every 1000 years. Some scientists realize their planet has seen numerous rises of civilization, and they always end in mass fires all across the planet. They do more research and realize nightfall is coming. They realize if they can put some people in a safe place with artificial lighting, those people can survive the night, while everyone else goes crazy in the darkness and burns everything they can get their hands on to make light.

The scientists attempt to photograph the sky at night, holding onto their sanity as long as possible, and hope to get pictures of the theoretical distant stars that might be visible at night.

Little do they realize their world is at the center . . .


Go read the short story. Miss the movie.

BTW, I was one of like 3 people in the entire country to pay to see Nightfall in a movie theater. It really sucked. I have no idea what the plot was, it had nothing to do with the short story, despite claiming to be base upon it.

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I really hated the first Star Trek 'reboot' movie a few years ago, if you want me to list a movie in this thread you've heard of. Hated, Hated, Hated, Hated it.

Really. Didn't bother to see the second one.

[Little lunch]

I tried to watch Begotten, but it was horrible. Could not watch more than five minutes of it.

I read the reviews and it sounded interesting.
Just watched it now.
It's not scAry or disturbing. It's just shit. :-)

[Cyberman]

You mad, ShaMan? They Live is a Carpenter classic!

And vorlon, I agree totally about nu-Star Trek. "Hey, let's film the engineering scenes in a brewery, with all those pipes, because fuck common sense!" Not to mention shoehorning in as many Trek references as possible, just for the sake of it. What a wasted opportunity to explore Kirk's cadet days. Apart from some of the music, which had a few nice touches (especially over the credits).