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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Off Topic v
The Blasphemy Thread

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The Blasphemy Thread
abaris Offline
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#31
RE: The Blasphemy Thread
December 4, 2014 at 3:54 pm
[Image: holy_ghost4_1024.jpg]
[Image: Bumper+Sticker+-+Asheville+-+Praise+Dog3.JPG]
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Minimalist Offline Donators
Go Blow Jesus Out Your Ass
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#32
RE: The Blasphemy Thread
December 4, 2014 at 4:00 pm
Fucking lunatics.




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Exian Offline
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#33
RE: The Blasphemy Thread
December 4, 2014 at 6:11 pm
Hello, abrahamic theist.

If you are reading this, then you have more than likely tried to preach at me in an attempt to "save my soul", and I have kindly linked you to this page to "save you" the time and effort.

I'm an atheist; I don't accept the claims made by your religion as being true, including the existence of your brand of god(s). This means when I say "Your god can lick my butthole", I'm being nonsensical, because something that doesn't exist will have a hard time licking my butthole, let alone sending me to hell for saying it. Likewise, I don't hate your god. If he can't lick my butthole for being non-existent, I can't hate him. I will say, I hate the man-made, fear-mongering, mythology surrounding your god and your religion.

At this point, you may be thinking "There's still a chance to save this misguided soul", and in an attempt to remove all doubt, I give you this: god, the holy spirit, and Jesus fucking Christ can all go fuck themselves in a holy ménage à trois for all I care.

Thanks.
I can't remember where this verse is from, I think it got removed from canon:

"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."

For context, this is the previous verse:

"Hi Jesus" -robvalue
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Jackalope Offline
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#34
RE: The Blasphemy Thread
December 4, 2014 at 6:15 pm
(December 4, 2014 at 6:11 pm)Exian Wrote: Hello, abrahamic theist.

If you are reading this, then you have more than likely tried to preach at me in an attempt to "save my soul", and I have kindly linked you to this page to "save you" the time and effort.

I'm an atheist; I don't accept the claims made by your religion as being true, including the existence of your brand of god(s). This means when I say "Your god can lick my butthole", I'm being nonsensical, because something that doesn't exist will have a hard time licking my butthole, let alone sending me to hell for saying it. Likewise, I don't hate your god. If he can't lick my butthole for being non-existent, I can't hate him. I will say, I hate the man-made, fear-mongering, mythology surrounding your god and your religion.

At this point, you may be thinking "There's still a chance to save this misguided soul", and in an attempt to remove all doubt, I give you this: god, the holy spirit, and Jesus fucking Christ can all go fuck themselves in a holy ménage à trois for all I care.

Thanks.

[Image: srcstc.gif]
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Exian Offline
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#35
RE: The Blasphemy Thread
December 4, 2014 at 6:39 pm
Thank you. Thank you.

Now, to wait in the weeds for my time to use it. *throws out bait*
I can't remember where this verse is from, I think it got removed from canon:

"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."

For context, this is the previous verse:

"Hi Jesus" -robvalue
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Lucanus Offline
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#36
RE: The Blasphemy Thread
December 23, 2014 at 6:12 am
Wow, I missed this thread. FuckingJesus menstruating from the nailholes!
"Every luxury has a deep price. Every indulgence, a cosmic cost. Each fiber of pleasure you experience causes equivalent pain somewhere else. This is the first law of emodynamics [sic]. Joy can be neither created nor destroyed. The balance of happiness is constant.

Fact: Every time you eat a bite of cake, someone gets horsewhipped.

Facter: Every time two people kiss, an orphanage collapses.

Factest: Every time a baby is born, an innocent animal is severely mocked for its physical appearance. Don't be a pleasure hog. Your every smile is a dagger. Happiness is murder.

Vote "yes" on Proposition 1321. Think of some kids. Some kids."
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Zen Badger Offline
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#37
RE: The Blasphemy Thread
December 23, 2014 at 6:20 am
(December 4, 2014 at 2:02 pm)FatAndFaithless Wrote: Jesus Christ was a load from God that Mary should've swallowed.

There, spilling of the seed, blasphemy, extramarital sex, and Jesus all rolled into one.

That would be one hell of a bukkake video.
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If you're not supposed to ride faster than your guardian angel can fly then mine had better get a bloody SR-71.
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robvalue Offline
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#38
RE: The Blasphemy Thread
December 23, 2014 at 7:36 am
I think I'm gonna go back in time, terminator style, and take care of this "jesus" character. Could take a while though, did anyone happen to grab a surname? If I have to kill every bung hole claiming to be the messiah I'll need more time machines.
Feel free to send me a private message.
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Losty Offline
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#39
RE: The Blasphemy Thread
December 23, 2014 at 3:24 pm
(December 23, 2014 at 7:36 am)robvalue Wrote: I think I'm gonna go back in time, terminator style, and take care of this "jesus" character. Could take a while though, did anyone happen to grab a surname? If I have to kill every bung hole claiming to be the messiah I'll need more time machines.

You better go ahead and kill all the Joshua's from that time period as well. Just to be sure Wink
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
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0/10

Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
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robvalue Offline
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#40
RE: The Blasphemy Thread
December 23, 2014 at 5:04 pm
OK, I'm all done. Wait, what? Joshua's? OK back I go... Smile
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Off Topic v
The Blasphemy Thread

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