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Current time: January 31, 2025, 6:44 am

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BIG THEOLOGY NEWS!!
#11
RE: BIG THEOLOGY NEWS!!
(December 10, 2014 at 9:18 am)FatAndFaithless Wrote: For all the scripture-pounders here, where in the scriptures does it mention pets going to heaven?

I don't think that there are any scriptures that say animals aren't in heaven either. It would make sense for a Christian to say that they don't know if pets are in heaven but when have religious people ever been consistent with their own holy books?

When I was 12, I had a religious relative who very gleefully corrected me when I said that my dead dog was playing in heaven. Granted, I don't believe in heaven now but it seems like a crappy thing to say to a kid. This relative believed in a make believe deity so why shit on my childhood fantasy when she wouldn't have wanted her own shit upon.

That should be the golden rule. Don't shit upon others, if you don't want to be shit upon....but if you like that sort of thing, ask permission first.
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#12
RE: BIG THEOLOGY NEWS!!
(December 10, 2014 at 9:19 am)FatAndFaithless Wrote:
(December 10, 2014 at 9:19 am)Exian Wrote: In that case, I hope there's porn and sheep.

What are you, a Welshman?

Actually, I think I do have a bit in me. But really, sheep are the only animal I could think of that would universally bring to mind bestiality, and I couldn't resist the blaspheme. Big Grin You're welcome for the mental image, prof.
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#13
RE: BIG THEOLOGY NEWS!!
(December 10, 2014 at 9:32 am)Exian Wrote:
(December 10, 2014 at 9:19 am)FatAndFaithless Wrote: What are you, a Welshman?

Actually, I think I do have a bit in me. But really, sheep are the only animal I could think of that would universally bring to mind bestiality, and I couldn't resist the blaspheme. Big Grin You're welcome for the mental image, prof.

I imagine everyone looking like their avatars. Now I am picturing a bipedal duck having sex with a sheep. Thanks for that image.
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#14
RE: BIG THEOLOGY NEWS!!
If it helps, I don't think it bestiality at that point. The creationists might call it...kindiality?
I can't remember where this verse is from, I think it got removed from canon:

"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."

For context, this is the previous verse:

"Hi Jesus" -robvalue
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#15
RE: BIG THEOLOGY NEWS!!
Quote:Do mosquitoes go to heaven?


You make heaven sound like a malaria-infested swamp.
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#16
RE: BIG THEOLOGY NEWS!!
Animals (everything that creepeth upon the earth, yada yada, yada) were separately created from Man, do NOT have immortal souls, and are NOT sons of Adam.

Jesus had no animals as disciples, no animal has ever been pope (might consider Alexander VI ?) Jesus rode upon an ass as a superior being (the ass was not an equal). I could go on for quite a while with this, but you get the idea.

The pope is a heretic and an apostate. He has BLASPHEMED.
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#17
RE: BIG THEOLOGY NEWS!!
Adam did have sex with quite a few animals though before they gave him a helper meat.
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#18
RE: BIG THEOLOGY NEWS!!
Did the pope find out from God it's alright to be gay yet? Discrimination is killing his popularity, but I guess that is good news for pets. Are there dinosaurs up there? Sounds like a crazy zoo.
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#19
RE: BIG THEOLOGY NEWS!!
The Pope just can't imagine eternity without his gerbils.
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#20
RE: BIG THEOLOGY NEWS!!
I am serious on this. There is actually a mainstream church (I live in North Carolina) that has a blessing of the animals once a year!

Even in my most "christian" of days, I thought it was a bit weird to think that animals needed a special blessing. Does that mean there is an on call priest at all animal shelters to administer last rights before they are euthanized? What if the animal confesses that jesus is there lord and savior but their owner doesn't. Does the owner get to go? I sure hope my pit bull is saved! He will enjoy chewing holy things as well.
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