Respecting Christian family and friends

[thesummerqueen]

You have to take each culture on its own history and issues. Africans and Caribbeans will have different issues from Native Americans, or Jews.

Jews have been so spread out for so long that there are two distinct factions you can put most distinct cultural oddities under - the Ashkenazic (mostly eastern or northern European), and the Sephardic (mostly surrounding the Mediterranean and Middle East) - and then it's an endless subheading. These result in different food or pronunciation preferences. They have absorbed the culture from the countries they lived in. It's only the Chasidic Jews - the ultra-orthodox you see in places like New York with the black clothes, hats, and curls, who keep a more consistent look across borders. But the dispersal of Jews has been happening for some thousands of years - not just the hundreds that many African nations can claim. It may be they feel that the loss of their 'original' culture is still too close. I don't know.

[watchamadoodle]

Welcome to the real world my friend

Sorry to hear your mother would most likely take it badly. For some people it's so hard wired that they just can't think any other way. One counter measure if they give you grief is to ask them why they reject islam so easily? And Zeus? And thor? And Venus? Etc. Almost all religious types are atheist to every single God except for one, for the exact same reasons were also atheist to that last one. So we're not as different as they like to think.

The good thing about atheism is there is no dogma, so it's up to the individual if they feel lying is the best thing to do on balance. You shouldn't feel pressured into religious ceremony, that is not right, but if you choose to partake to keep the peace, there is no God of atheism waiting to burn your bum for it.

The only other thing I can think is to get their opinion on atheism in a sneaky way, by asking what they think about "these atheists" or something. Dunno if that's too stupid to work or not. You could start to mildly defend them and see what reaction you get, "I can see there point, it is hard to actually find evidence that God definitely exists".

Best of luck with however you decide to handle it

Thanks. I have been trying to keep the appearance of a Christian with serious doubts as opposed to a non-Christian who has accepted intellectually that Christianity is just another man-made religion. I think my mother believes that non-Christians are risking hell (except for Jews of course because they are God's chosen people). As a doubting Christian, I would go to heaven, but as an atheist all bets are off.

I just left Christianity recently, so I still think about it, and it makes me angry. Hopefully in time I will not think about Christianity so much, and this won't be a problem when I am around my Christian family members.

---

You have to take each culture on its own history and issues. Africans and Caribbeans will have different issues from Native Americans, or Jews.

Jews have been so spread out for so long that there are two distinct factions you can put most distinct cultural oddities under - the Ashkenazic (mostly eastern or northern European), and the Sephardic (mostly surrounding the Mediterranean and Middle East) - and then it's an endless subheading. These result in different food or pronunciation preferences. They have absorbed the culture from the countries they lived in. It's only the Chasidic Jews - the ultra-orthodox you see in places like New York with the black clothes, hats, and curls, who keep a more consistent look across borders. But the dispersal of Jews has been happening for some thousands of years - not just the hundreds that many African nations can claim. It may be they feel that the loss of their 'original' culture is still too close. I don't know.

Judaism is interesting. I used to think I understood Judaism. Christians think of Judaism as a subset of Christianity. Now I know that I do not understand Judaism, so that is progress.

[thesummerqueen]

Judaism isn't a subset of Christianity. Christianity is a godawful subset of Judaism, which is godawful in itself.

[Whateverist]

Welcome to the real world my friend

Sorry to hear your mother would most likely take it badly. For some people it's so hard wired that they just can't think any other way. One counter measure if they give you grief is to ask them why they reject islam so easily? And Zeus? And thor? And Venus? Etc. Almost all religious types are atheist to every single God except for one, for the exact same reasons were also atheist to that last one. So we're not as different as they like to think.

The good thing about atheism is there is no dogma, so it's up to the individual if they feel lying is the best thing to do on balance. You shouldn't feel pressured into religious ceremony, that is not right, but if you choose to partake to keep the peace, there is no God of atheism waiting to burn your bum for it.

The only other thing I can think is to get their opinion on atheism in a sneaky way, by asking what they think about "these atheists" or something. Dunno if that's too stupid to work or not. You could start to mildly defend them and see what reaction you get, "I can see there point, it is hard to actually find evidence that God definitely exists".

Best of luck with however you decide to handle it

Thanks. I have been trying to keep the appearance of a Christian with serious doubts as opposed to a non-Christian who has accepted intellectually that Christianity is just another man-made religion. I think my mother believes that non-Christians are risking hell (except for Jews of course because they are God's chosen people). As a doubting Christian, I would go to heaven, but as an atheist all bets are off.

I just left Christianity recently, so I still think about it, and it makes me angry. Hopefully in time I will not think about Christianity so much, and this won't be a problem when I am around my Christian family members.

---

You have to take each culture on its own history and issues. Africans and Caribbeans will have different issues from Native Americans, or Jews.

Jews have been so spread out for so long that there are two distinct factions you can put most distinct cultural oddities under - the Ashkenazic (mostly eastern or northern European), and the Sephardic (mostly surrounding the Mediterranean and Middle East) - and then it's an endless subheading. These result in different food or pronunciation preferences. They have absorbed the culture from the countries they lived in. It's only the Chasidic Jews - the ultra-orthodox you see in places like New York with the black clothes, hats, and curls, who keep a more consistent look across borders. But the dispersal of Jews has been happening for some thousands of years - not just the hundreds that many African nations can claim. It may be they feel that the loss of their 'original' culture is still too close. I don't know.

Judaism is interesting. I used to think I understood Judaism. Christians think of Judaism as a subset of Christianity. Now I know that I do not understand Judaism, so that is progress.

Judaism isn't a subset of Christianity. Christianity is a godawful subset of Judaism, which is godawful in itself.

From the perspective of Judaism, Christianity suffers from premature ejaculation. Sure, sure the messiah is coming but this crazy, Jewish carpenter is not the one. Christians are jews who got excited too easily.

Notice how almost all of history can be explained in terms of human sexuality. Remarkable, really.

[Minimalist]

Everybody would respect my views except my mother.

I guess what pisses me off with these people is that it is always a one-way street with them. Their fairy-tale belief system is not worthy of respect.

They need to learn that in order to receive they have to give.

[watchamadoodle]

Everybody would respect my views except my mother.

I guess what pisses me off with these people is that it is always a one-way street with them. Their fairy-tale belief system is not worthy of respect.

They need to learn that in order to receive they have to give.

It is frustrating, because the people with flexible beliefs must bend to accommodate the people with rigid beliefs. That gives an evolutionary advantage to rigid beliefs. (Of course I don't blame my mother for having rigid views. That is just what she learned as a child. It is hard to change that indoctrination.)

[thesummerqueen]

Not really - rigid beliefs make it hard to adapt to new situations.

[watchamadoodle]

Not really - rigid beliefs make it hard to adapt to new situations.

I agree that flexibility is good sometimes, but there are sometimes when rigidity wins.
For example, a Catholic marries a Protestant. The Catholic insists on a Catholic marriage ceremony (the Protestant doesn't care). Then after the wedding preparations are almost done and it is too late to change churches, the Catholic priest insists that the Protestant swear to raise any children as Catholics. The more rigid denomination replicates.

[thesummerqueen]

...I think you're conflating issues. There's no guarantee that the kids will end up Catholics. My mother won the Jew argument, and here I am...an atheist.

[Minimalist]

I've missed you, Summer.