Confessions: Going to Church for Xmas this Year

[Alex K]

Probably won't go to church, but I have christmas cookies in the house, I have a cheap and rusty lighted deer in the front yard and a wreath on the door I bought from the food pantry fundraiser. (OK, one of the guys there is really really movie star handsome and I wanted to look generous while ogling his supple hotness)

Well... as good a reason as any I suppose

Deck the halls with boughs of holly, 
Fa la la la la, la la la la. 
Tis the season to be jolly, 
Fa la la la la, la la la la. 

Don we now our gay apparel, 
Fa la la, la la la, la la la. 
Troll the ancient Yule tide carol, 
Fa la la la la, la la la la. 

I LOVE the new LED christmas lights, the colors are so pure, and the driving electronics are more sophisticated

And isn't that what christmas it all about!

Wish it would snow. Everything outside is brown, and until it gets covered in snow I feel I have to be outside working.

I feel exactly.the same way

[Whateverist]

Read most of the posts and agree with them. Do what you like. Part of the appeal may just be to feel like you're the apple of your dad's eye again? Maybe it's the ritual or maybe it is the very real option of feeling the universe/god is talking to you. If you decided to go with that but managed to refrain from defending or promoting your beliefs, you'd still be light years ahead of the herd. I don't think you really want that but if you did it wouldn't phase me in the least.

[KevinM1]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with going to church in order to (re)connect with family and the community at large.

I will say that the last three times I went to church only cemented how much bullshit surrounds it, however.

First time was my grandmother's funeral. The priest giving the service was on his way to retirement, and decided to go out with a bang. So, he focused on how much she suffered in the last years of her life rather than celebrating all the good she did when she was healthy. He never knew my grandmother, btw.

Second time was my brother's wedding, on a hot late September day. 45-60 minutes of pomp and circumstance before getting to the vows. Tuxedos don't really breathe well.

Third time was my nephew's baptism. The church passed the collection plate around twice. It was another hot day (I'm thinking July or August), and the priest liked to hear himself talk.

So, yeah... I've never had an inspirational, let alone fun, time in church. I find it to be too long, too robotic (Catholic services just drone on and on in the worst of ways), and too wrapped up in ceremony that doesn't actually mean anything. YMMV.

[Tonus]

If you have any advice, thoughts, words of hope or encouragement, I'd be interested in hearing.

Ewww... you're picking up church cooties and you want encouragement???

But seriously, being an atheist doesn't mean you're forced to avoid church or not seek out whatever truth you might feel drawn to. If accompanying your family to church on a holiday makes you happy, then do that.

[abaris]

I find it to be too long, too robotic (Catholic services just drone on and on in the worst of ways), and too wrapped up in ceremony that doesn't actually mean anything. YMMV.

I remember quite vividly as a child I always got some relieve when it was communion time. It meant that the boredom would soon come to an end. Maybe one more song and we're done.

[IATIA]

The real problem I see is potentially suggesting an endorsement from an atheist that it ok to worship a mythological sky-daddy.

[Spooky]

Socializing and human interaction is an important part of any healthy adult's life. Church, can provide that. At a cost. I'll most likely myself attend some services with my wife's family. It's not that bad. Free coffee, snacks, and a few fairy tales.

[robvalue]

I think going to church as an atheist can be a great idea. You can ask awkward questions, and barely conceal your laughter after each ludicrous preachy statement.

Freedom of speech or something, right?

[rexbeccarox]

Are you kidding? I SO miss church on Christmas! I miss hanging out with the fam before midnight mass, when I was totally lubed up from drinking beer or wine, and ready to sing my rendition of "Ave Maria" at church.

Now, my sister and I being the only ones on the west coast, we have our own, awesome, traditions, but I do miss some church rituals. I just can't see my sister and me (or any of our other friends, for that matter) being able to sit through a church service together without giggling.

Edit: Um. I'm stoned. I live on the west coast.

[*Deidre*]

Are you kidding? I SO miss church on Christmas! I miss hanging out with the fam before midnight mass, when I was totally lubed up from drinking beer or wine, and ready to sing my rendition of "Ave Maria" at church.

Now, my sister and I being the only ones on the west coast, we have our own, awesome, traditions, but I do miss some church rituals. I just can't see my sister and me (or any of our other friends, for that matter) being able to sit through a church service together without giggling.

Edit: Um. I'm stoned. I live on the west coast.

This post is epic. lol

I read everyone's posts, thank you so much.

What is odd, is that my dad has asked me the past few years to attend mass with him, and I effortlessly said no. This time, I effortlessly said yes. Which was odd. No angst. No arguing, or debating. I think I've come to the point where I'm comfortable identifying myself as an atheist, but also accepting others for where they are, in their faith. I'm also comfortable with admitting, I don't know everything...I can't know everything. I don't need to know everything. I can ponder what or who might have made this universe, or I can choose to believe nothing did.

That is where freedom is. And that exists in us all.

Would be cool to attend church with ALL of you people! That would be a hoot.

---

Probably won't go to church, but I have christmas cookies in the house, I have a cheap and rusty lighted deer in the front yard and a wreath on the door I bought from the food pantry fundraiser. (OK, one of the guys there is really really movie star handsome and I wanted to look generous while ogling his supple hotness)

Food pantry fund raisers are hot?

I must go volunteer.

---

They use the "feel good" bullshit to suck people in.

The story remains as absurd as ever.

lol I wondered what you would post.

---

Hey Deidre,

I'm sorry if this is long, but it sounds like you wanted a story.
Quick background, I was brought up in a very milquetoastish German protestant environment which is probably comparable to very mainstream Anglican in spirit. I went through the whole Sunday school and confirmation thing when I was 14 because my parents wanted me to (I said I don't believe the shit, they said it's cultural and I should therefore go), even though I'm not sure I was a hardcore atheist. Anyways, after that I stopped attending church, but would usually join the family for Christmas, and I remained a member (in this country, you are officially registered as a church member with the government, strangely). After my experiences with fundamentalist Christianity in the bible belt, I decided to more actively reject religion, left the church officially and stopped attending even at Christmas. That was 16 years ago or so. Two years ago I joined a choir which does a lot of sacred works as well, and we did some concerts in church around christmas time, and even once during a catholic service. I admit I felt somewhat out of place, but I'm used to performing classical stuff in a religious context. Last year was the first time in 16 years I went to an actual Christmas service again with my mom and grandma - mostly because she is 92 now and not in good health, and I suddenly felt that I should go with her because she liked it and I wasn't sure whether it could maybe be the last time. There were some other things going on in my life that I don't want to get into right now, and even though I'm as dyed in the wool an atheist as ever, somehow I was very touched at times in that service. In between, the God talk by the pastor resetted the feeling again, because I can't for the life of me stand that nonsense, and you might feel the same - but somewhere between the hymns and just sitting there and maybe thinking about the many times I had been there in more carefree childhood days, I was touched. This is not exactly advice because I don't really see that you need any. Just go and don't think about it too much, it's not like you're committing treason, or the atheist god is going to smite you or anything. That's the great thing about the atheism business

As for the question about the void - I think I have this whole Saganish awe for the universe thing going - to me, Christmas time is the time when it's dark outside early (me being on the northern hemisphere unlike other folks here), the time of the beautiful night skies with Orion, Cygnus, Vega. When I look up at that star forming region in Orion flickering up there through the silent icy cold winter night, somehow, the Christmas lights, the singing, the baking and cooking, and the stars, it somehow makes sense. In my head, I'm having some kind of cosmic solstice celebration I suppose, and as long as the Jesus stuff is not too distracting, I'm happy with it.

How about you - what are the things you miss the most?

There's something that has been unsettling for me, lately. Not sure what it is, or where it's coming from, exactly. Perhaps, we are always on this journey, seeking truth, whatever that may be. We think we have finally found truth, but then the path keeps leading us elsewhere...Idk.

I consider myself an atheist, but not sure why I feel this void inside of me tugging away at my heart. I've decided to go to church for Xmas Eve service this year, with my dad. He asked me, as he has done these past couple of years since my deconversion, and I've always declined. But, this time, I said yes...and I'm actually looking forward to it. Is it possible that it's merely due to the effects of the season all around me? I didn't feel this way the past couple of years, but for some reason, I do this year. Hoping you don't consider me a weakling, but...there it is. I wanted to be honest with you, my e-family of sorts...who know what it's like to let go of Christianity/religion, and perhaps too, have felt a void you have never quite filled.

Wasn't really sure where to post this, I figured this was a good of a spot as any. I haven't been to church in a VERY long time, so it will be interesting at any rate.

If you have any advice, thoughts, words of hope or encouragement, I'd be interested in hearing.

I've read your post a few times, it could be my new Xmas/Atheist tale for the season.

Twas the night...

Truly, it touched me. (((thank you))) Yes, there is something quite different about this time of year, but we can make it whatever we wish, to make it special.