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RE: Secular Funeral
January 8, 2015 at 5:20 pm
(This post was last modified: January 8, 2015 at 5:27 pm by Jenny A.)
(January 8, 2015 at 4:41 pm)abaris Wrote: Sorry for your loss.
Sadly I haven't got any experience with secular funerals either, but your plan sounds great. Just be aware that the people attending are the unknown factor in all this. Naturally I don't know about your invitation list, but someone might feel compelled to smuggle god in.
One of the speakers may bring up god. That would be okay. What we're really trying to avoid is the invocation of god, sermon, and group prayer. If the funeral home's director sounds like to do anything like that, we'll do the opening and closing ourselves. I'd just rather not. I'm probably going to cry through my bit as is. And my brother is when of those guys who cries.
(January 8, 2015 at 4:59 pm)Phronz Wrote: Sorry to hear that. My grandfather was an atheist, and when he died we threw a party (at his request). He said, and I quote, "Get drunk, dance, just don't fucking cry over me." So maybe throw a party/celebration of his life?
That sounds lovely, but Dad wasn't that sort of guy. Also the bulk of the people there are going to be either over 75 or under 17.
(January 8, 2015 at 5:15 pm)JuliaL Wrote: . My Dad died 7 years ago.
We had a nice get together in the Unitarian Universalist church where he had attended. Several speakers from his life and interests got up and said nice things without any mysticism at all. All that was followed by a dinner in a cafeteria where we children had set up some displays commemorating his achievements at work and otherwise.
Only us kids had attended his last moments in the assisted living facility. My sister the doctor and I were there at the last because our brother had stepped out just a minute, for what I don't remember. We did have a hospice person in earlier but none of us really needed their help and Dad wasn't really there. We were pretty firm that no clerics need attend. Dad wasn't anti-theist, but he never showed any indication of believing in anything other than reality. If anything, he was a full bore 200% humanist and very engaged in bettering humankind, particularly the downtrodden. Gave lots of $$$ to the Southern Poverty Law Center and Klanwatch. We're really proud that the government kept files on him.
No crying that I remember.
Death sucks, but fear of death sucks more.
I like the posters commemorating achievements idea. Dad would like that. He was proud of his career.
If there is a god, I want to believe that there is a god. If there is not a god, I want to believe that there is no god.
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RE: Secular Funeral
January 8, 2015 at 5:32 pm
(This post was last modified: January 8, 2015 at 5:32 pm by abaris.)
(January 8, 2015 at 5:20 pm)Jenny A Wrote: I'm probably going to cry through my bit as is. And my brother is when of those guys who cries.
I know, I couldn't have spoken at my dads nor my mums funeral.
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RE: Secular Funeral
January 8, 2015 at 5:46 pm
"For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan
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RE: Secular Funeral
January 11, 2015 at 12:01 am
I'de say just take that day to remember him by doing whatever it was he liked to do. So if you dad enjoyed fishing then go fishing that day.
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RE: Secular Funeral
January 11, 2015 at 12:07 am
That's rough, I'm sorry for your loss.
I've got an unhealthy Harold & Maude-eqsue obsession with planning my funeral. I want to hire a comedian, play funeral doom metal. Then I want to show up halfway through Huck Finn style.
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RE: Secular Funeral
January 11, 2015 at 12:14 am
I really got into planning it for a while, and have had intricate procedures I have wanted to follow. But after a while, I got to realizing that when I die, I could be penniless and devoid of friends or family. 2 people might show up out of obligation, so why make them sit through a bunch of readings and, like, 5 songs. Simple suits me.
"For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan
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RE: Secular Funeral
January 11, 2015 at 12:25 am
Jenny A, I am so sorry to hear of your father's passing. I think what you have planned so far is lovely. 
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RE: Secular Funeral
January 11, 2015 at 12:28 am
Jenny - I never know what to say at these times. I'm sorry for your loss. Best wishes to you and the ones you love.
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RE: Secular Funeral
January 11, 2015 at 7:16 am
Very sorry to hear that Jenny. I'm afraid I have no experience to draw on in this area. I'm sure you will do just fine.
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RE: Secular Funeral
January 11, 2015 at 7:58 am
(This post was last modified: January 11, 2015 at 7:58 am by BrianSoddingBoru4.)
Sorry for your loss, Jenny. I was very close to my own da - when he died it send me into a tailspin.
Years gone I went to the funeral of a sister-in-law (ovarian cancer), and it was the closest I've ever seen to a secular funeral. No crucifixes, no Bibles, no Bible quotes. Lots of flowers, lots of candles, and people reminiscing about Beth. The only remotely spiritual comment I can recall was in the funeral announcement, which said that my sister-in-law '...rejoined the infinite'. Very moving service.
I hope you're coping well.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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