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Humor/OP ED, but half serious.
#1
Humor/OP ED, but half serious.
Just a bit of superfluous venting here.

HEY FOOD COMPANIES! I really would like to know why you fucking think chewing, crunching and gulping noises will make me want to buy your product? No one sells toilet paper with sound effects. It doesn't make me want to buy your product, it makes me want to throw a brick at my TV!
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#2
RE: Humor/OP ED, but half serious.
Why do you buy products from food companies in the first place!
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition

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#3
RE: Humor/OP ED, but half serious.
(March 2, 2015 at 10:33 am)Alex K Wrote: Why do you buy products from food companies in the first place!

Because I need to eat? That is a silly question.
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#4
RE: Humor/OP ED, but half serious.
In line with the thread title, I was being half serious as well. Almost none of the groceries I buy come from companies that produce commercials.
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition

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#5
RE: Humor/OP ED, but half serious.
You're annoyed by the sounds? I find everything in commercials unbearable. Especially food commercials. Fun fact: ice cream on TV is usually mashed potatoes and the milk is glue.
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#6
RE: Humor/OP ED, but half serious.
(March 2, 2015 at 10:26 am)Brian37 Wrote: Just a bit of superfluous venting here.

HEY FOOD COMPANIES! I really would like to know why you fucking think chewing, crunching and gulping noises will make me want to buy your product? No one sells toilet paper with sound effects. It doesn't make me want to buy your product, it makes me want to throw a brick at my TV!

Maybe because they haven't invented a device that lets you taste things through your TV?
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason...
http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/

Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50

A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh.
http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html

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#7
RE: Humor/OP ED, but half serious.
when i see bacon on tv


Atheism is a non-prophet organization join today. 


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#8
RE: Humor/OP ED, but half serious.
(March 2, 2015 at 11:07 am)Chad32 Wrote:
(March 2, 2015 at 10:26 am)Brian37 Wrote: Just a bit of superfluous venting here.

HEY FOOD COMPANIES! I really would like to know why you fucking think chewing, crunching and gulping noises will make me want to buy your product? No one sells toilet paper with sound effects. It doesn't make me want to buy your product, it makes me want to throw a brick at my TV!

Maybe because they haven't invented a device that lets you taste things through your TV?

Not at all. I admit is is my own personal bugaboo. My mom used to smack me as a kid if I chewed with my mouth open, or burped or farted. I think that aversion to body noises comes from my mom trying to raise me with "manors".

(March 2, 2015 at 11:17 am)dyresand Wrote: when i see bacon on tv



That is not a body noise, that is a cooking noise.
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#9
RE: Humor/OP ED, but half serious.
Quote: My mom used to smack me as a kid if I chewed with my mouth open, or burped or farted

And with good reason, you should never fart with your mouth open!
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition

Reply
#10
RE: Humor/OP ED, but half serious.
Cooking noises are the best noises, when it comes to food. Or preparing food. I would take that over eating/drinking, partly because it's harder for me to imagine myself doing it when watching someone else do it.
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason...
http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/

Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50

A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh.
http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html

Reply



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