Find Your Child A Mate

[Chad32]

It seems to me that the country is working its way to the correct direction. We just need to get the democrats to stop trying to be Republican Lite, and point out the problems with fundamentalism. Hopefully it will work itsself out soon.

[Losty]

We have democrats?

[Chad32]

We have people who are between centrist and slightly to the right that compete against the far right.

[Drich]

Not a big fan of people described in the OP, yet I won't throw stones. Why? Because those who's sin of choice is sexual in nature may need the structure this type of courting offers. It would be like making fun of a 12 stepping recovering addict or drunk for going to meeting. Sure I don't have to goto meeting to not drink or do drugs, but not everyone can say that. Like wise not everyone has the were with all to date responsibly, and may need structure and clear headed thought from a outside third party that I myself do not need.

Who am I to point out another's weekness?

I am glad that you answered, Drich. Even though I disagree with you on most issues, at least you show more willingness to answer questions that other Christians avoid. I have noticed also that after you answer a question, other religious members suddenly flock to that thread.

Even if I agreed(and I don't) that sexual activity between consenting adults or consenting adolescents is wrong, the way that this movement tries to cure the problem does more harm than good. How does a young person go from never allowing themselves to have a sexual thought to suddenly having a fulfilling sex life with their spouse? A girl who has never allowed herself to fantasize about sex without guilt, much less masturbated, isn't going to be able to help her equally inexperienced husband find her clitorius. I suppose they could read books but maybe they will simply accept that sex is supposed to be a somewhat boring event so they won't know anything is wrong.

There are a few sites run by people who have escaped this mindset. Many remain Christian. They point out problems with this sort of thinking that include divorce and young people who never marry because they are terrified to take the risk and get to know someone romantically.

Here is a link to an article written by a former Stay at Home Daughter(another google search for those who are interested). She left the lifestyle. The comments under her article are interesting

http://rachelheldevans.com/blog/samantha...-daughters

I am not afraid of any topic. If I don't answer generally it's because I feel like we just did a topic like it very recently (as per the Noah's ark thread whatmacallit is doing or one of the other theist is doing a good job 'preaching it' from the get go and I don't want to muck up their efforts.)

For this particular topic I was a 'collage singles... (Unpaid) minister' at my church for a few years. We went from a hand full of friends hanging out together, and teaching/practicing how to date (most of us never dated before) so we paired up/drew straws and all sat at one table and refined our dating personas.

When word got out at the near by university, we exploded with guys and girls who were interested in dating this way. There was an element of safety and a genuine effort to seek out a spouce in a constructive way. Sure their were people their just to try and hook up. They found each other, and left pretty quickly. In the end we had over 70 core members, and that's when the church stepped in and tried to formalize what we had done, with the courtship 'doctrine' your artical described. It all failed miserably. But, by the time they took this ministry from me I had found Trich, and wanted to spend time with her anyway.

I say all that to say, that structure like that maybe what some people need. Not everyone wants to whore themselves out for a dinner at the Olive Garden and drinks. (While I completely understand others do) for those silent few who don't, I know some measure of structured dating can really help them find their mate. I can't remember how many exactly but including myself their were a dozen or so different marriages as a direct result of that ministry, and maybe a dozen or so more who got married later on because they learned out not to freak out their dates by comming on too strong.

Plus now kids, lots of kids were born as a direct result of structured dating....

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Oh and as far as figuring things out for the first time with your spouce... I waited, or rather that decision was made for me before I was a CHARLIE church goer, and let's just say I figured where things went pretty fast!
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[Nope]

Oh and as far as figuring things out for the first time with your spouce... I waited, or rather that decision was made for me before I was a CHARLIE church goer, and let's just say I figured where things went pretty fast!
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Were you practicing emotional purity as well? As we have been discussing in this thread, these young people aren't simply not having sex but are also taught all sexual fantasies or even just romantic thoughts are wrong. Thier situation is entirely different than yours. One of the criticisms that former followers of emotional purity bring up is that there are a lot of young people in this movement who never marry

Some of these kids are either homosexual or even asexual. Because of their attempts to control their sexual responses, they and their future spouse are not going to be in the type of relationship most likely to make them happy

[Wyrd of Gawd]

Real Christians won't ever get married because it takes their attention away from worshiping Jesus. That's what the Bible says.