Find Your Child A Mate

[dyresand]

Does the child's happiness not even matter

When it comes to arranged marriages, the bethrothed are informed that they will grow to love one another in time and become happy as a result.

Removed that extra w for you.

It's not real love its more or less.... mental conditioning 2 people to love one another. Because there is a few things i can see happening if that person or if just one loves that person and another just doesn't even like the other i can see a lot of negativity and eventually them getting separated. But even still this is wrong very very wrong.

[Chad32]

This is quite weird. If I was a dad, I'd probably look for someone suitable for my kid, and invite them over on a regular basis, but the final decision would be up to my child. Trying to keep a teenager from having romantic thoughts, when their body is going through changes and pumping hormones all day long, is bound to mess them up. It's the same problem with total abstinence. It doesn't work.

[robvalue]

Right... More than doesn't work, it's impossible. You'd have to literally do stuff to their brain.

It's living in fantasy land, what a surprise.

[watchamadoodle]

Apparently the early Christians were even more ridiculous. Here is the something from the Acts of Thomas:

11 And the king desired the groomsmen to depart out of the bride-chamber; and when all were gone out and the doors were shut, the bridegrroom lifted up the curtain of the bride-chamber to fetch the bride unto him. And he saw the Lord Jesus bearing the likeness of Judas Thomas and speaking with the bride; even of him that but now had blessed them and gone out from them, the apostle; and he saith unto him: Wentest thou not out in the sight of all? how then art thou found here? But the Lord said to him: I am not Judas which is also called Thomas but I am his brother. And the Lord sat down upon the bed and bade them also sit upon chairs, and began to say unto them:

12 Remember, my children, what my brother spake unto you and what he delivered before you: and know this, that if ye abstain from this foul intercourse, ye become holy temples, pure, being quit of impulses and pains, seen and unseen, and ye will acquire no cares of life or of children, whose end is destruction: and if indeed ye get many children, for their sakes ye become grasping and covetous, stripping orphans and overreaching widows, and by so doing subject yourselves to grievous punishments. For the more part of children become useless oppressed of devils, some openly and some invisibly, for they become either lunatic or half withered or blind or deaf or dumb or paralytic or foolish; and if they be sound, again they will be vain, doing useless or abominable acts, for they will be caught either in adultery or murder or theft or fornication, and by all these vvill ye be afflicted.

But if ye be persuaded and keep your souls chaste before God, there will come unto you living children whom these blemishes touch not, and ye shall be without care, leading a tranquil life without grief or anxiety, looking to receive that incorruptible and true marriage, and ye shall be therein groomsmen entering into that bride-chamber which is full of immortality and light.

13 And when the young people heard these things, they believed the Lord and gave themselves up unto him, and abstained from foul desire and continued so, passing the night in that place. And the Lord departed from before them, saying thus: The grace of the Lord shall be with you.

http://www.earlychristianwritings.com/te...homas.html

[Nope]

Does the child's happiness not even matter

w
When it comes to arranged marriages, the bethrothed are informed that they will grow to love one another in time and become happy as a result.

I have read that the rate of happiness is the same for both arranged and nonarranged marriages. If the couple are adults who have had the opportunity to see the world, become educated and hold a job, I could see instances where arranged marriage could work. The problem is when they don't have a choice to say no to an arranged marriage. By choice, I mean that the couple have the opportunity and means to leave their parents' home and that their family won't disown them if they don't agree with their parents' choices.

Many of the Christian fundamentalists are taught not just to practice physical purity but emotional purity as well. It is really fascinating and depressing to read if you do any google searches on the issue.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/

No Longer Quivering used to have articles on the subject. It is run by a mother of 11 who used to belong to the quiverful mindset but has since become an atheist.

[Norman Humann]

Trying to keep a teenager from having romantic thoughts, when their body is going through changes and pumping hormones all day long, is bound to mess them up.

Nah, I'm fine.

If you exclude all the things that are wrong with me, that is. But hey, it worked! ...meaning I'm genophobic as a result. But it worked!

[KevinM1]

w
When it comes to arranged marriages, the bethrothed are informed that they will grow to love one another in time and become happy as a result.

I have read that the rate of happiness is the same for both arranged and nonarranged marriages. If the couple are adults who have had the opportunity to see the world, become educated and hold a job, I could see instances where arranged marriage could work. The problem is when they don't have a choice to say no to an arranged marriage. By choice, I mean that the couple have the opportunity and means to leave their parents' home and that their family won't disown them if they don't agree with their parents' choices.

Many of the Christian fundamentalists are taught not just to practice physical purity but emotional purity as well. It is really fascinating and depressing to read if you do any google searches on the issue.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/

No Longer Quivering used to have articles on the subject. It is run by a mother of 11 who used to belong to the quiverful mindset but has since become an atheist.

Good/sad link. I was just going to mention the whole Quiver Full thing myself.

For those unaware, Quiver Full refers to a small fundamentalist movement wherein each family is run by the husband to extreme levels, and the wife is basically just there for on-demand breeding and child rearing. The justification is that children are a blessing, so more is always better, and that each family should have a 'quiver full' in order to spread that blessing of their faith. So, it's explicitly a way to increase the number of such Christians, with the goal of having that brand of psychosis becoming mainstream.

The father controls their daughter's entire world view, especially when it comes to romance and sex. They do the same with the sons, but not to the same extent. And yeah, it usually involves the emotional purity bullshit, too.

The Duggars, who have a show on A&E (I believe... maybe it's TLC) are the celebrity posterchildren for the movement. The mom has had, I think, 19 kids or something along those lines. They're making a big deal about one of the daughters getting married, no doubt to become an on-demand breeder herself. It's presented as this wholesome thing, but it's really sickening.

[abaris]

If you do a google search on Christian courtship and the words; father involved or father led, it is interesting to read the articles that you can find. Arranged marriages are followed by a minority among American Christians but online you can find a lot of blogs by people who support arranged marriages. Most of these articles also mention emotional purity.

They have so much in common with radical islam and yet they keep fighting each other. Probably because they both don't like the competition in selling their brand of supression.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I imagine quite a few of those parents will get a big surprise when little Johnny or Janie turn 18.

[Chad32]

They have so much in common with radical islam and yet they keep fighting each other. Probably because they both don't like the competition in selling their brand of suppression.

Like estranged siblings who grew up in the same house, yet still fight with each other. They agree on almost every point, except exactly which guy was Yahweh's chosen messiah.