Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past

[DeistPaladin]

Sorry about the late entrance to this thread.  I just read the OP and all I can think is:

jesus man, tell her it's all cool, you appreciate her honesty, and can she bring a friend over tonight.
Seriously, have sex with a virgin some time and then thank your lucky stars you scored a good one in that girlfriend of yours.  


you gotta get out more man.
just sayin.

We've moved on from that troll and are now discussing a big heathen orgy at my place. 

[Exian]

Who's gonna front my plane ticket?

[The Valkyrie]

I would pay but I'm about to buy a new Harley.

[thesummerqueen]

I think you're in Kentucky, DP?

I can drive there.

I can bring whiskey too. For Cinjin. To loosen him up.

But what am I about, I have stockings and a garter to take off at the moment.

[Joods]

Agreed DP.

Fine that you're into double penetration Judi, but pics or didn't happen.

Ha ha ha... gross That is just not my sorta thing.

[pauloroberts]

I'd like to clarify some things for the benefit of the feebleminded.

Soon after we met, I did ask her some stuff about her past, and she told me that there wasn't really much to tell. Which means that she lied, but I choose to focus more on the fact of what her history is, rather than her lie. But she did lie and i'm clarifying that now.

So there's that, but the point is that if anybody was curious to know if I had asked her already, they should have just asked me, instead of automatically assuming that I never did. I wonder why they chose to make the assumption that I'd never asked.

Nowhere in my post have I said anything that implies that I'm shaming her or anything like that. In fact I haven't said a single negative thing about her, I only said that we're incompatible. I could have very easily mentioned that she'd lied, but I chose to focus on the more important issue instead.

I am not seeking a virgin. To say that I am is to make a false dichotomy and a strawman argument. Anyone with common sense would not make such a silly assumption, nor did I imply that I'm a prude or that I only want a virgin.

When I said "this is not OK " (about her sexual history) what I obviously (obvious to people with brains) meant was that this is not acceptable to me. She has the free will and autonomy to choose her actions and I have the free will and autonomy to choose my standards and boundaries. I am a strong and independent man and I reserve that right, thank you very much.

Perhaps I should have clarified that I was seeking intelligent feedback. I take full responsibility for not making this clear, but I'm making it clear now, so now you know.

Do carry on...

*Insults Bolded by me

That's quite a mouthful of insults for someone who's only posted twice now. But hey... I can dish it right back.
You really shouldn't have more dick in your personality than your pants.

First of all let me enlighten you since your own lack of common sense caused you to post this first. Your first post should have been an introduction post. Not this one. Introductory posts are encouraged because it tells us a little bit about you. But hey... I can see you're bassackwards, so what's done is done.

Second - All we could comment on is the information YOU provided. In your OP you rattled off a total of SEVEN things, that presumably you had issues with (otherwise you wouldn't have posted them). To those of us reading your OP, we responded reasonably. Had you told us she lied to you, that may or may not have changed some of our opinions, but I feel that omitting that important piece of information was very misleading.

It should also be mentioned that not anywhere in your OP did you point out your own shortcomings. So, in essence, we get one view of a situation (yours), in which you chose to leave out pertinent bits of info (gf lying) and was completely biased to begin with. YOU, sir, painted a negative picture of your girlfriend from the get go. Whether or not you actually SAID anything that was (in your opinion) negative - your post was in actuality very disrespectful to your girlfriend. Given your second post being passive-aggressive and insulting towards those you sought opinions from, I can certainly understand why your girlfriend chose to withhold information from you. If you talk down to her the way you've talked down to the people here, I wouldn't tell you anything either. You create an immediate trust issue in that you can no longer be trusted to keep any private information shared with you - private.

She trusted you with sensitive information about her past and you blabber mouthed it all over a public internet forum. What a total class act you are.

Third - 80 comments went by before you finally got back to any of us and when you do... it's filled with insults about our intelligence. Apparently getting answers/advice you didn't like, gave you cause to lash out when in all reality, we aren't the ones who put you in this situation. You did it to yourself.

Fourth - You put your girlfriend's private, sexual history on a forum that is open to the public to read. Anyone - guest or not - can read the forums here and not only did you do it here, but you did it over at TTA as well. Given that - it can pretty much be said (with surety, mind you) that you are so angry with your girlfriend that you've attempted to "publicly" shame her on multiple forums. Shame on you.

Fifth - The majority of the feedback you received came from very intelligent people that are respectable, honest, sincere and knowledgeable. What do you really want us to say? Please tell us so that we can repeat it back to you and you can go your merry way and feel better.

If you don't want advice/opinions/feedback or thoughts from a bunch of strangers, don't ask for it. Simple as that.

And I'll end with this bit of advice for you:

If you want "intelligent" feedback, I suggest you make an intelligent post that we can actually work with and not come off as an arrogant dick who wants to put his girlfriends sexual history on the WWW for EVERYONE to see because he is so insecure with his manhood that he felt justified in doing this. You remind me of the guy who has to have the biggest truck in the state. I look at those guys and think "Sorry bout your penis bro".

No the advice has been stupid. Now that I know what she was all along, I'm not happy about it. Her ability to bond has been compromised severely, and she has devalued herself. 

[SteelCurtain]

No the advice has been stupid. Now that I know what she was all along, I'm not happy about it. Her ability to bond has been compromised severely, and she has devalued herself. 

To be clear -- You don't like the advice we've given, and that's fine. Hard to call it stupid. You have every right to not be happy about this; if it's a deal breaker it's a deal breaker.

But don't get it twisted. You have compromised your ability to bond with her. And you have devalued her. Keep it on your side of the street. These are your judgements of her.

[Nope]

I would still like to know what the Op means by saying his girlfriend's can no loner bond. What does that mean?

If it wasn't for the orgies and brownies, I might be irked at the Op for not answering that question about bonding. Now I am more curious how Becca is going to punish us all

[DeistPaladin]

I think you're in Kentucky, DP?

Yes, we can all get lucky in Kentucky. Let's be sure to invite the OP douchbag's girlfriend. 

[robvalue]

Deist Paladin: It's funny you should say that, my wife is also an atheist who believes in ghosts! Although if those two get carried away with the supernatural stuff, we can always get married

My advice to the OP was fucking awesome and included doing exactly what he is doing (leaving if he can't get past it), yet it is still stupid advice apparently. That's what you get from a bunch of idiot atheists I suppose.

Now, about this orgy...