Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: August 17, 2026, 7:16 am

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Ask an Alien!
#1
Ask an Alien!
See the entity behind me to your left, it "neutralises" threats as you "Muricans" say.
See the entity behind me to your right, that's just a young one who won a free trip with us in some karaoke contest, please ignore.

[Image: llvy2.jpg]
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Reply
#2
RE: Ask an Alien!
Why all the anal probes?  Is it for science or just the lulz?
Reply
#3
RE: Ask an Alien!
From where do you hail?
I can't remember where this verse is from, I think it got removed from canon:

"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."

For context, this is the previous verse:

"Hi Jesus" -robvalue
Reply
#4
RE: Ask an Alien!
Are you legal?
"For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan
Reply
#5
RE: Ask an Alien!
Why do your ships so often resemble weather balloons?

Why the penchant for visiting humans who have roughly the same number of IQ points as teeth?

Do you get residuals from all your old 'Twilight Zone' appearences?

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
#6
RE: Ask an Alien!
Quote:Why all the anal probes?  Is it for science or just the lulz?
standby: googling. No, we have never needed to perform any such primitive form of brain surgery. 

Quote:From where do you hail?
We were in the area actually, but originally we are from the other side, (of your singularity), travelled through 3 folds, or worms to get here. it's beyond your visible universe. Nothing too exciting.

Quote:Are you legal?
Yes we are. Ship registration and insurance paid up, all employees are union members.

Quote:Why do your ships so often resemble weather balloons?
That isn't us, you have never seen our "ships".


Why the penchant for visiting humans who have roughly the same number of IQ points as teeth?
standby: googling. I am at a loss to answer. We have never made physical contact with any human.

Do you get residuals from all your old 'Twilight Zone' appearences?
standby: googling ... We just scanned through every episode. Why do humans have a preoccupation with the mysterious and the unknown?
I apologise for having made contact so early in your evolution.
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Reply
#7
RE: Ask an Alien!
Do you choose victims for abduction randomly? Or is it all planned?
“Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived.” 
-Isaac Asimov

“Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”
-Douglas Adams
Reply
#8
RE: Ask an Alien!
If it isn't too much trouble we have a member, Vorlon, who would really appreciate a good anal probing.  How well equipped are you for the task?
Reply
#9
RE: Ask an Alien!
How do you eat with that extendable second jaw? I imagine it's a big hassle.
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition

Reply
#10
RE: Ask an Alien!
Why don't you just show up tell theist they are wrong and their beliefs are stupid so we can all advance and be happy.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization join today. 


Code:
<iframe width="100%" height="450" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/255506953&amp;auto_play=false&amp;hide_related=false&amp;show_comments=true&amp;show_user=true&amp;show_reposts=false&amp;visual=true"></iframe>
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  [Serious] Ask a firearms enthusiast deleted 41 23186 June 8, 2023 at 9:17 pm
Last Post: Gawdzilla Sama
  Ask someone completely disillusioned about Americanism. Jackalope 35 20292 March 21, 2022 at 10:12 pm
Last Post: Jackalope
  Ask a trans. Jehanne 20 14367 January 3, 2022 at 11:58 am
Last Post: Jehanne
  Ask an Uber driver. Goosebump 1 4080 January 2, 2022 at 6:01 am
Last Post: Goosebump
  Ask a critic T.J. 16 9122 January 2, 2022 at 5:19 am
Last Post: purplepurpose
  Ask a poor person BrokenQuill92 49 26092 December 9, 2021 at 8:57 pm
Last Post: BrokenQuill92
  Ask a woman who just turned 50. Divinity 41 21626 November 30, 2021 at 9:01 pm
Last Post: Oldandeasilyconfused
  Ask a dog mom BrokenQuill92 16 10882 November 30, 2021 at 12:02 pm
Last Post: Mister Agenda
  Ask Eleven Paraselene 36 20517 June 26, 2021 at 9:33 am
Last Post: Frank Apisa
  [Serious] Ask an American expat Jackalope 12 7591 January 12, 2021 at 10:02 pm
Last Post: Jackalope



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)