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The Mental Illness Thread
#31
RE: The Mental Illness Thread
(May 28, 2015 at 12:47 pm)Faith No More Wrote: It really depends on the hospitals, but I've come to the conclusion that the main reason psych. wards can make you feel better is that the conditions are so miserable inside that it makes you appreciate what you have on the outside.  The walls are painted a depressing color and the environment is extremely sterile as not to rile up the patients.  You have absolutely no control over your own actions.  You are told where to go and what to do 24/7, and you are constantly being monitored as to how compliant you are to their commands, which is how you get out.  The food is pretty much inedible.

Every once in a while, you'll be treated to a show when one of the other patients acts out and gets tossed in the foam room.  If that doesn't work, they'll strap the patient to the floor of the foam room and shoot them up with tranquilizers.  Most of the therapy you do is trivial, and you eventually get to the point where you'll do whatever it takes to get out.  That first breath of fresh air after getting out is fantastic.

I think largely you get out of it what you put into it. The times I went voluntarily, those were largely positive experiences (though you're right in that I couldn't wait to get out), the times I was forced (by circumstances), not so much. Your descriptions ring true, though, at least with respect to the facilities I was in during the 1980's.

Back then - the guy in the "quiet room" (padded cell, for the rest of you), that was me. Though I'll note that the psyche ward isolation units are far gentler than those at the local police department - being restrained and tranked beats the fuck out of being hogtied with zip ties in a jail cell. Wow, the memories. I've come a long ways.

The food isn't universally bad. Most of my inpatient stints were in actual hospitals, and the food there was exactly as you'd expect - horrible hospital food. At the private facility I stayed at four years ago it was really quite decent, as far as institutional food goes.
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#32
RE: The Mental Illness Thread
Saxmoof: I'm very sorry to hear of all you've been through Sad Yes, ME clouds my mind terribly, the mental fatigue is as bad as the physical fatigue. When it's at its worst I can't think straight, I can't answer simple questions or focus on anything. I'm doing my book keeping training, but I can only do it for so long each day before my mind gives up. If I have to concentrate hard on something, I have very limited gas in the tank. Luckily computer games don't seem to require much mental energy from me.

Yeah, I share your scepticism about therapy. It did really help me first time though (I never thought it would) because I was suffering from an awful lot of irrational thoughts. I just didn't realize they were irrational until the therapy helped me analyze them. Now the depression is more linked to my illness, and the fact that I may never get better. It's not irrational to be depressed by that. I've got pretty good at holding any skewed thoughts to account in my brain before they take over now, but as I was describing, just a total sense of hopelessness doesn't have thoughts to analyze. The team seem to think this may do me some good, this new version, so all I can do is try.

I'm not sure it was me who said about social anxiety, I think that was someone else Smile I don't have much of a social life at all because I don't have the energy to go anywhere. I would like to see more people, it's just very difficult. But sadly seeing other people tires me the fuck out as well.

It's very kind of you to ask after me, thank you Smile
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#33
RE: The Mental Illness Thread
(May 28, 2015 at 1:01 pm)Neimenovic Wrote: thank you for answering guys
(May 28, 2015 at 12:56 pm)Saxmoof Wrote: I struggle being on here tbh, i had to force myself to introduce myself, post regularly and start this thread. Writing the OP took me about 6 hours, and I put off doing it for about a week before that. In all social interactions I get very apprehensive, thoughts of all the reasons not to talk to people and all the things that could possibly go wrong from doing so pop into my head - they're very hard to power through, it takes a lot of time and effort and is quite stressful. Expressing any sort of personality/individuality especially brings out these thoughts, opinions i'm ok with

Great job you're doing so far. I'm sure it'll get better as you spend more time here. Anything I/we could do to help?

Thank you Smile I hope it will. I'm not sure there's anything anyone here could do to help me, I want to get to a point where i'm so comfortable talking to people here it feels natural (or at least more natural) and i feel free to express myself more - but at this point any help from people to get me there would really freak me out. Continue as normal I guess, just keep being decent people

That rep you gave me helped though   Angel
“The larger the group, the more toxic, the more of your beauty as an individual you have to surrender for the sake of group thought. And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. You will do things in the name of a group that you would never do on your own. Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it, because you've lost your identity, because you now owe your allegiance to this thing that's bigger than you are and that controls you.”  - George Carlin
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#34
RE: The Mental Illness Thread
There wasn't much to get out of the places I stayed in. It was basically just an opportunity to escape from the real world and stabilize myself, but there wasn't really anything to gain from it besides that. My psychiatrist also ran the psych. ward, and he was so over-worked that I didn't get a whole lot of one on one time. Most of the people were in there because they required a lot of care, and the people that took care of them got tired of it. Those were the ones that got the lion's share of attention. Plus, the therapist I was assigned to was extremely incompetent. He was always quoting Dr. Phil, which is like a scientist quoting Ken Ham.

Like I said, there wasn't much to gain.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
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#35
RE: The Mental Illness Thread
Quote:I'm not sure it was me who said about social anxiety, I think that was someone else 

It was you I was thinking of, but you said anxiety not social anxiety - i misremembered that bit
“The larger the group, the more toxic, the more of your beauty as an individual you have to surrender for the sake of group thought. And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. You will do things in the name of a group that you would never do on your own. Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it, because you've lost your identity, because you now owe your allegiance to this thing that's bigger than you are and that controls you.”  - George Carlin
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#36
RE: The Mental Illness Thread
(May 28, 2015 at 1:03 pm)Saxmoof Wrote: This sounds exactly like the ward in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

Not really. There was no malicious nurse, and I didn't have to fear being lobotomized.

Which brings up a good point. We should all be thankful that we're not experiencing all of this 50+ years ago when we'd be sliced up and experimented on. As bad as our culture's understanding of mental health is today, it used to be that we were considered sub-humans to be dissected.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
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#37
RE: The Mental Illness Thread
There still is stigma, but we are fighting it. There are some groups making strides. NAMI is a good place to get support.

I will start by telling you Saxmoof, that I understand, as well as someone could, I suppose. I am 30 years in, diagnosed early with depression, now it is severe recurrent depression, generalized anxiety disorder, and PTSD. I am not a vet. I think there are more.. meh... I go through periods that I am mindful and work on myself, but they are out balanced by my illness. I will say, my social life is with the people in my computer for the most part. Other than my family, and the love of my life. We help each other out. I used to have groups of friends but have slowly gotten to the point that keeping up on facebook is much more comfortable than seeing people in real life. As I get older I feel more insecure and awkward. Probably not supposed to be that way, so it makes me wonder if my illness is worsening. There are other reasons too, but I would rather not get into that here. My suicidal thoughts have waned though, and I use tools when I am feeling anxious, and that is a positive. I am on meds also, when I care enough to take them, or not  talking them for self sabotage.

Quote:I'm sceptical about therapy for the very depressed, like detailed above. CBT basically boils down to positive thinking, if you're as hopeless as I was that just feels pointless, and therapy can't work if you don't buy into it - it took me 6 years to feel like therapy was something that could help. And with severe social anxiety, you don't even want to leave the house let alone sit and talk to a stranger for an hour

^^ditto
[Image: dc52deee8e6b07186c04ff66a45fd204.jpg]
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#38
RE: The Mental Illness Thread
(May 28, 2015 at 12:56 pm)Saxmoof Wrote: I'm sceptical about therapy for the very depressed, like detailed above. CBT basically boils down to positive thinking, if you're as hopeless as I was that just feels pointless, and therapy can't work if you don't buy into it - it took me 6 years to feel like therapy was something that could help. And with severe social anxiety, you don't even want to leave the house let alone sit and talk to a stranger for an hour

(veteran of many years of CBT and DBT here)

While I wouldn't characterize CBT as just "positive thinking", you do raise some very good and interesting points. When one is embroiled in a serious episode of MI, oftentimes, one is simply unable to participate in therapy in any effective way - and certainly, if one doesn't buy into it, it isn't going to be effective.

I'm over 6 years into my current round of therapy, and I definitely was too sick to make any progress at all the first couple of years.

I wouldn't want to discourage anyone, though - in my case, it's ended up being worth it.
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#39
RE: The Mental Illness Thread
I think part of the problem is that making therapy useful requires a certain level of understanding on the patient's behalf, too. You have to know how it will work for you, and you also have to know its limitations. If you go in with unrealistic expectations, you're certainly going to be disappointed. I've never tried CBT, because I was also skeptical of that. I have, however, had many, many years in what I guess would be classified as "talk therapy," which is really only useful for getting you to process and reflect upon what is going on in your life. I imagine it varies greatly between person to person as to how much value doing that is going to have, but I find it very useful.

Also, the quality of the therapist varies greatly, and quite frankly, some of them are entirely useless. It's quite possible that if a person isn't benefitting from therapy that the problem lies with the therapist, not the therapy itself.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
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#40
RE: The Mental Illness Thread
(May 28, 2015 at 8:27 pm)Faith No More Wrote: Also, the quality of the therapist varies greatly, and quite frankly, some of them are entirely useless.  It's quite possible that if a person isn't benefitting from therapy that the problem lies with the therapist, not the therapy itself.

There's a lot of truth to this.  My first therapist this go around insisted that I was, in fact, not bipolar, despite having a diagnosis from a psychiatrist in the same office, and his recommendation for me was to watch some funny movies.

Yeah, I fired him after two sessions.
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