Damned Candidates . . .

[vorlon13]

(thought it would be handy to have a thread with all the buffoonery we'd  be interested in hearing here)

Anyhow, to start;

Found out today a small municipal tourist trap I volunteer for has been rented by the Huckabee campaign for an event of some sort next month.  We are not in a position to turn down rental fee so when the call was received, it wasn't even sent to the board for discussion prior to approval.  Never anticipated we'd be picked for something like this, we generally host family get togethers and the occasional swap meet, car show or committee meeting type things.  It is a really small facility and I did ask why we were picked, and apparently a large venue with 90% empty capacity is a bad visual, a small venue with cars blocking nearby streets and apparent throngs of people crowding the building looks way better on the news.

Poo.

Well, anyhow, it's an opportunity to see how they make sausage from the inside.  I'll report outrages and oddities as they occur.

As for me 'doing something', well, as much as I'd like to wear a "FUCK HUCK" t-shirt that day, it ain't gonna happen.  If I get a chance to ask a question, I'm thinking something along the lines of, "Clearly, you're serving 2 masters, and to me it's clear the 1 that should be #1 isn't, so how does that set you apart from all the other sell outs in the race ?".

If anyone has something better, post it, that was the best I was able to come up with in a couple hours.  Keep in mind, I like to pose questions to christers from a position far more into the Literalist and Inerrant orbit than any of them are likely to find comfortable themselves.

I had Huckabee pegged last campaign when he was saying pretty much the right stuff (from what should be his 'christer' viewpoint in regards to the Mormon apostate, Romney) during the lead up to the convention.  Once Romney got nominated, Huck suddenly had a revelation the fucktard Mormons ain't tools of satan anymore ('specially when running against a negroidal lib'ral Mudslime) and wasted no time shaving his taint just the way old Horny Joe Smith likes to see under them magiks underwears.

It was sickening.  I'm sure Jesus vomited too.

Looks like I'll have an interesting summer . . .

[Minimalist]

It is a really small facility and I did ask why we were picked

Fuckabee doesn't expect big crowds.

[vorlon13]

While I intend to voice a concern at the next board meeting to only take cash up front for the rental (campaigns are notorious for stiffing all manner of businesses and venues), I am actually hoping we get screwed on it. I can certainly use that to good effect if Huck does achieve a particle of success in the primary.

[Salacious B. Crumb]

Sounds interesting. I hope you make him look dumb in front of all the jesus freaks.

If, YOU actually make him look dumb, the jesus freaks will probably think he's intelligent, but either way, it should be entertaining for you.

[vorlon13]

I don't know how thoroughly the venue has to be vetted. Could be interesting if they realize it was built with copious tax monies that could have been better spent. Also, since we are small town Iowa, I can't imagine they are going to rattle cages and scour social media regarding the volunteers that run the place.

{wink}

I recall during the planning and building of the site we discussed a dual use area that would have had a stage function. We pissed away too much money on folderol so that idea remains unbuilt. Still, with some folding chairs and a lectern, we will be OK.

Hope they search the building, there is a section of attic I haven't been in and they can check for roof leaks and bird nests while they are crawling around up there.

[Salacious B. Crumb]

Hope they search the building, there is a section of attic I haven't been in and they can check for roof leaks and bird nests while they are crawling around up there.

That sounds like a well-suited building for Huckabee. Maybe it’ll rain and ruin the roofing and tarantulas, scorpions, and rodents will come pouring through a hole made by a lightning bolt, and some sort of biblical plague will be unleashed upon him. And Huckabee will say, “I asked god for a sign to see if I was going to win or not, and he answered by prayers. It looks like I have the power of god behind me. I can not lose, Yahweh is with me!”

[Thumpalumpacus]

I think you ought to put a harmonizer in line on his mic channel at the mixer and set it for three octaves low, so that when he talks he sounds like Beelzebub.

[Aroura]

Interesting development for you there, hope you find a way to make the best of it. I wish I had some witty suggestions, but I don't.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

If anyone has something better, post it,

'Mr. Huckabee, do you think you have a legitimate chance of gaining your party's nomination, given that your name sounds like some sort of belligerent Suessian insect?'
('As you walk through the forest of gurgle trees / Don't get stung by the Hucka-bees'.)
Boru

[KevinM1]

"Mr. Huckabee, why do you so passionately defend a family whose cult believes in treating its women like chattel?"