Are Married Men "Husbands?" How About a New Term for a New Relationship?

[LostLocke]

If we changed the plural of spouse from spouses to spice I would totally give polyamory a shot.  Just so I can give all my spice different nicknames based on their personalty.  

If you did that, you could even form your own British electronica rock band.

[brewer]

A friend of mine who is male, gay, and married refers to his husband. I don't see the issue, but you may have a point.

They are not married. Marriage is between one man and a woman. Their piece of paper can say what it likes, it is not a marriage.

Please don't start again, not sure my fragile brain can take it.

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Not sure if this is the right forum for this. But...


I am a woman and (gee, Rhonda, we never would have guess. Thanks for the heads up) I don't like the word "husband. I can't help wondering if it has an etymological connection to the word "husbandry."

Think about it. Until relatively recently, women were considered the property of their husbands. A woman without a husband was like a cow without a cowboy. From its inception marriage has been about men doing the tasks of husbandry—caring for and managing their wives.
e are in a new era now. Isn't it kind of retro to enter this new epoch with a term that speaks of inequality in the relationship?

What are your thoughts on wife?

From the net:

Old English wif (neuter) "woman, female, lady," also, but not especially, "wife," from Proto-Germanic *wiban (cognates: Old Saxon, Old Frisian wif, Old Norse vif, Danish and Swedish viv, Middle Dutch, Dutch wijf, Old High German wib, German Weib), of uncertain origin, not found in Gothic.

Apparently felt as inadequate in its basic sense, leading to the more distinctive formation wifman (source of woman). Dutch wijf now means, in slang, "girl, babe," having softened somewhat from earlier sense of "bitch." German cognate Weib also tends to be slighting or derogatory and has been displaced by Frau.

The more usual Indo-European word is represented in English by queen/quean. Words for "woman" also double for "wife" in some languages. Some proposed PIE roots for wife include *weip- "to twist, turn, wrap," perhaps with sense of "veiled person" (see vibrate); and more recently *ghwibh-, a proposed root meaning "shame," also "pudenda," but the only examples of it would be the Germanic words and Tocharian (a lost IE language of central Asia) kwipe, kip "female pudenda."

The modern sense of "female spouse" began as a specialized sense in Old English; the general sense of "woman" is preserved in midwife, old wives' tale, etc. Middle English sense of "mistress of a household" survives in housewife; and the later restricted sense of "tradeswoman of humble rank" in fishwife. By 1883 as "passive partner in a homosexual couple." Wife-swapping is attested from 1954.

Equally disturbing.

[Whateverist]

"Husband" has a strong meaning of manager, or boss and it has for centuries. I suggest introductions as "my ex-bachelor."

I also answer to stud muffin and beef cake.

[bennyboy]

I don't see why people are getting excited about these terms. If you're not calling each other "bitch" or "fuckhead," then you're happily married, and why look for things to feign outrage about?

[Whateverist]

You'd be surprised how happily married you can be even if you do call each other those things, so long as you each have a sense of humor.

[Faith No More]

Isn't it kind of retro to enter this new epoch with a term that speaks of inequality in the relationship?

I think there are much worse things in the world we could focus on instead.

[Whateverist]

There are?! Don't tell me about them. Ignorance really is bliss.

[Pyrrho]

I don't see the problem with the word "husband."  First of all, word origins do not tell you current meaning.  Getting confused on that point gets people to commit the genetic fallacy.  And second, the male head of the household does not preclude having a female head of the household (or a second male head of the household).  That is, there can be joint heads of a household.  This contrasts with the status of children and other household members.

But, if you personally don't like the term "husband," "spouse" is fine for both males and females who are married, so feel free to use it.

[Metis]

I'd have thought Husband and Wife had lost much of their historical baggage over the past fifty years and now merley denote the gender of your spouse.

I don't see what's wrong with a gay guy calling his spouse his husband, a lesbain her spouse her wife. Unless that gender neutral noun stuff takes off which seems pretty unlikely.

[Rhondazvous]

Yeah, to me love is kind of like a mutual co-ownership anyway.  My wife belongs to me-- but also vice versa.

General Western Philosophy: What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine.

Could this be the reason for the high divorce rate among heterosexuals?