Ever since I was little, I've known I was different. There was something that set me apart from the other kids. For a long time, I couldn't define it, couldn't even articulate it. As I moved into my early teens, it became clear: I didn't care for pizza.
Naturally enough, I hid my difference from those around me. It was difficult, as you might imagine. Pizza take away, pizza adverts, pizzas in pubs, the freezer section crammed to the ceiling with pizza. Oh, I tried, believe me - it's OK to be different, but I didn't want to be branded as some kind of pervert, so I made the effort. I'd be hanging with friends and someone would invariably suggest pizza. I'd go along, I wanted to 'fit it'. But I was living a lie.
I 'came out' in my early 20s at uni. My roommate asked, 'Want to go out for a slice?' I demurred, tried to tell him that I'd already eaten, that I had other plans. He persisted, and I finally told him that I don't like pizza. His eyes went blank and cold, as if he was contemplating where to hide my corpse. 'What did you say?', he husked. I repeated it, and he left without a word. I never saw him again.
Coming out was hard, but I felt this tremendous burden had been lifted. Now I could live as ME, I could be ME. But I underestimated the level of antipizzaphobia in the world. I was a pariah, an outcast. And the I found AF.
Like most new members, I perused the site before posting anything. I found lots of funny, intelligent, tolerant people, and I thought to myself, 'Here at last is a place where I can be accepted without judgment for who I am, not for what I decline to eat. Imagine my shock and heartbreak - yes...heartbreak - when I came across the hate-filled comments of Cthulhu Dreaming, Parkers Tan and robvalue (people who I sincerely admire, btw) marginalizing me for my foodstyle.
People here talk a good game - equal rights for women, racial minorities, the LGBT community, blah blah blah. But you're showing your true colours now, buncha judgey antipizzaphobes.
I've got news for you lot - there's more of us than you think. Deny it all your like, but odds are that you've all got at least one antipizzaist in your family. We aren't a threat to your kids, there's no antipizzaist 'agenda'. We aren't even trying to deny pizza to those who like it. We just want to be accepted for being genetically predisposed to dislike pizza. Let us live our lives, raise our families. Treat us as you would anyone else - we're not a threat to your way of life.
But keep fucking with us, and we will - make no mistake - launch our plan to poison the world's pepperoni supply. You have been warned.
Boru
Naturally enough, I hid my difference from those around me. It was difficult, as you might imagine. Pizza take away, pizza adverts, pizzas in pubs, the freezer section crammed to the ceiling with pizza. Oh, I tried, believe me - it's OK to be different, but I didn't want to be branded as some kind of pervert, so I made the effort. I'd be hanging with friends and someone would invariably suggest pizza. I'd go along, I wanted to 'fit it'. But I was living a lie.
I 'came out' in my early 20s at uni. My roommate asked, 'Want to go out for a slice?' I demurred, tried to tell him that I'd already eaten, that I had other plans. He persisted, and I finally told him that I don't like pizza. His eyes went blank and cold, as if he was contemplating where to hide my corpse. 'What did you say?', he husked. I repeated it, and he left without a word. I never saw him again.
Coming out was hard, but I felt this tremendous burden had been lifted. Now I could live as ME, I could be ME. But I underestimated the level of antipizzaphobia in the world. I was a pariah, an outcast. And the I found AF.
Like most new members, I perused the site before posting anything. I found lots of funny, intelligent, tolerant people, and I thought to myself, 'Here at last is a place where I can be accepted without judgment for who I am, not for what I decline to eat. Imagine my shock and heartbreak - yes...heartbreak - when I came across the hate-filled comments of Cthulhu Dreaming, Parkers Tan and robvalue (people who I sincerely admire, btw) marginalizing me for my foodstyle.
People here talk a good game - equal rights for women, racial minorities, the LGBT community, blah blah blah. But you're showing your true colours now, buncha judgey antipizzaphobes.
I've got news for you lot - there's more of us than you think. Deny it all your like, but odds are that you've all got at least one antipizzaist in your family. We aren't a threat to your kids, there's no antipizzaist 'agenda'. We aren't even trying to deny pizza to those who like it. We just want to be accepted for being genetically predisposed to dislike pizza. Let us live our lives, raise our families. Treat us as you would anyone else - we're not a threat to your way of life.
But keep fucking with us, and we will - make no mistake - launch our plan to poison the world's pepperoni supply. You have been warned.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
