Your views on MARRIAGE

[Salacious B. Crumb]

I don’t understand marriage, period. I never have. I don’t understand why people would want the government in their lives in that way. Why do people want all these legal contracts between themselves? Isn’t a relationship supposed to be something out of love, and not a contract forcing people to stay together that don’t actually want to be together anymore? If two or more people want to be together, then let them. If people don’t want to be together, then don’t have a relationship with each other. I’d rather be happy than miserable. I’d rather be in a real relationship with someone, than to be under a contract, that basically keeps us tied down together in an unnatural way.

If you’re happily married, good for you. I have no problem at all with that, but I’ve seen a few divorces in my life, and they aren’t pretty. It should be a clean split, in my opinion. Not some ongoing split that takes years to settle. Why do you want the government involved in your relationship? Have a mock marriage or something, make your own promises to each other. If you want to have a party to signify that you want to be together with each other for life, than go for it, but why a contract? ..especially when 50% of marriages end in divorce. I don’t think we’re meant to be monogamous. About 3-5% of mammals on the planet are monogamous, it doesn’t seem natural.

[Catholic_Lady]

I don’t understand marriage, period. I never have. I don’t understand why people would want the government in their lives in that way. Why do people want all these legal contracts between themselves? Isn’t a relationship supposed to be something out of love, and not a contract forcing people to stay together that don’t actually want to be together anymore? If two or more people want to be together, then let them. If people don’t want to be together, then don’t have a relationship with each other. I’d rather be happy than miserable. I’d rather be in a real relationship with someone, than to be under a contract, that basically keeps us tied down together in an unnatural way.

If you’re happily married, good for you. I have no problem at all with that, but I’ve seen a few divorces in my life, and they aren’t pretty. It should be a clean split, in my opinion. Not some ongoing split that takes years to settle. Why do you want the government involved in your relationship? Have a mock marriage or something, make your own promises to each other. If you want to have a party to signify that you want to be together with each other for life, than go for it, but why a contract? ..especially when 50% of marriages end in divorce. I don’t think we’re meant to be monogamous. About 3-5% of mammals on the planet are monogamous, it doesn’t seem natural.

The part that really matters to me is my promise to God and to my spouse. The government contract is just practical and convenient for tax breaks, hospital visits, etc. Also, being in the military, my husband actually get's paid more if he has a spouse... and as a "dependent" I get special privileges that I would not get if I was just a girlfriend.

[Thumpalumpacus]

The government recognizes many unions of multiple people regularly for the purpose of respecting and restricting rights.  It calls those unions corporations, and allows those multiple partners to join their finances together in order to achieve that goal of maximizing profits.

Why should the government not extend the same benefit to people who wish to join together in order to attain a non-financial goal? And so long as you're not involved in such an arrangement, why is it any of your business, Cathy?

Just curious  to hear yall's views on this, that's all.

Sheesh, is it a full moon tonight or something? Lol.

Given the position of your Church on this matter, my question is pertinent. You've made it plain that you adhere to Church doctrine on everything else; I assume that you aren't going to disobey orders about how you should feel regarding marriage as well.

Now, perhaps I'm wrong, and you're fine with polygamy, or the other slippery-slope ideas your priests put out in arguing against gay marriage. Maybe you actually support those things, and that's cool.

I get tired of hearing about how some church or some god or some government must give its imprimatur to the love of two or more human beings. I think such authoritarian overreach is obnoxious. I'm glad the SCOTUS struck down gay marriage bans, and I think that if five men and seven women want to get married, they can carry their happy asses down to a lawyer, draw up a contract, and to hell with the validation of gods, priests, or IRS agents.

/.02

[Catholic_Lady]

Just curious  to hear yall's views on this, that's all.

Sheesh, is it a full moon tonight or something? Lol.

Given the position of your Church on this matter, my question is pertinent. You've made it plain that you adhere to Church doctrine on everything else; I assume that you aren't going to disobey orders about how you should feel regarding marriage as well.

Now, perhaps I'm wrong, and you're fine with polygamy, or the other slippery-slope ideas your priests put out in arguing against gay marriage.  Maybe you actually support those things, and that's cool.

I get tired of hearing about how some church or some god or some government must give its imprimatur to the love of two or more  human beings.  I think such authoritarian overreach is obnoxious. I'm glad the SCOTUS  struck down gay marriage bans, and I think that if five men and seven women want to get married, they can carry their happy asses down to a lawyer, draw up a contract, and to hell with the validation of gods, priests, or IRS agents.

/.02

You are correct that I adhere to Church teaching on marriage. However, that has nothing to do with why I made this post. I just wanted to know yall's thoughts regarding polygamy.

Thank you for your response.

[robvalue]

I agree that the concept of marriage is a bit silly and outdated. It's kind of caught between two worlds. I never thought I would get married, and I don't think any less of couples who aren't married. It's certainly no necessity.

For what it's worth, this is why I got married:

1) It makes my wife and I happy to be married!

2) I genuinely feel that this is it, and that if for some reason this relationship didn't work, I'd be done with relationships altogether. Our marriage is a statement (to my wife and to the world) of my confidence that this is all I will ever want; and that I'm as sure as I can be that this relationship will last the rest of our lives.

3) I do want to be associated legally with my wife. I want her to have the authority to make decisions where relevant that may involve me, to the exclusion of my family. I want her to have any financial security it entails should anything happen to me. This is also a statement of my total trust in my wife.

[Catholic_Lady]

2) I genuinely feel that this is it, and that if for some reason this relationship didn't work, I'd be done with relationships altogether. Our marriage is a statement (to my wife and to the world) of my confidence that this is all I will ever want; and that I'm as sure as I can be that this relationship will last the rest of our lives.

Beautiful. 

[robvalue]

Thank you

[Longhorn]

I don't know ._.

Morally, my gut reaction is 'of course', but legally things get complicated. I don't know enough about the law to make a decision on this.

If it is possible to make such marriage contracts that wouldn't cost a shit ton of money and wouldn't be a bitch to later terminate if needed, then of course I think it should be legal, why not? But if it complicates legal matters too much, then maybe it's not the best idea. But I don't know enough to tell which is the case.

[robvalue]

How this relates to children is interesting. It's always kind of assumed that children are generally better off with two parents, and no more than two. I actually doubt this is the case. But the practicalities of laws require compromise.

[Salacious B. Crumb]

I don’t understand marriage, period. I never have. I don’t understand why people would want the government in their lives in that way. Why do people want all these legal contracts between themselves? Isn’t a relationship supposed to be something out of love, and not a contract forcing people to stay together that don’t actually want to be together anymore? If two or more people want to be together, then let them. If people don’t want to be together, then don’t have a relationship with each other. I’d rather be happy than miserable. I’d rather be in a real relationship with someone, than to be under a contract, that basically keeps us tied down together in an unnatural way.

If you’re happily married, good for you. I have no problem at all with that, but I’ve seen a few divorces in my life, and they aren’t pretty. It should be a clean split, in my opinion. Not some ongoing split that takes years to settle. Why do you want the government involved in your relationship? Have a mock marriage or something, make your own promises to each other. If you want to have a party to signify that you want to be together with each other for life, than go for it, but why a contract? ..especially when 50% of marriages end in divorce. I don’t think we’re meant to be monogamous. About 3-5% of mammals on the planet are monogamous, it doesn’t seem natural.

The part that really matters to me is my promise to God and to my spouse. The government contract is just practical and convenient for tax breaks, hospital visits, etc. Also, being in the military, my husband actually get's paid more if he has a spouse... and as a "dependent" I get special privileges that I would not get if I was just a girlfriend.

Those small perks shouldn’t make someone want to get married. It is respectable that you want to keep your promise to your spouse, but I don’t understand the point of marriage. To me, it just seems like something that everyone goes along with, because of peer pressure or what is socially acceptable in a given culture. Then, you get judged by most people if you’re 40 years old, and have never been married. Trying to explain this type of logic to people, just makes me seem more crazy, even though it is perfectly rational, to me anyways.

Even if you believe in a god, why include god in your marriage? I see that you want to have a relationship with this deity, but why the need to promise god that you will be together forever? In our reality, god isn’t here living our daily problems. God doesn’t pay your bills, settle your arguments, or cook dinner for your kids. These, and many others, are problems that are dealt with here in reality, by real people, not god. All of the good and bad things that happen in a marriage, or any relationship for that matter, are dealt with by the people in that relationship. I know you believe in god, and respect him, and probably think he blesses you moreso for including him in your marriage (speculating, forgive me if I’m wrong), but what about the catholic marriages that end in divorce? Is that god’s will? Did god bless them for including him in their lives? I think that you know deep down, god won’t solve every one of your problems. He’s not going to pay your bills, he’s not going to feed your children. Just look at the homeless people on the streets and the starving children all over the world that cry out to him everyday.

Basically, after all of those examples, why include god in your relationship with your significant other(s)? (taking into account, the examples I've given you. Unless you don't agree with me, then you can let me know why.)