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Age of Oblivion - my (hopefully) first full novel.
#1
Age of Oblivion - my (hopefully) first full novel.
I've been working on this for a few years now since my college days. It's evolved a lot since its inception, but I have a pretty firm grasp on what I want it to be now. It's certainly challenging my command of the english language, I'll say that much Tongue
I've always been a massive sci-fi fan, and I've always been obsessed with space. My goal was to create a brand-new, original universe set approximately 200,000 years into the future. Anyway, that's enough of my nattering, please feel free to read and comment/criticise at your leisure. It's my first time posting my work publically, so be gentle Big Grin


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#2
RE: Age of Oblivion - my (hopefully) first full novel.
Noice. Do moar!! Big Grin
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#3
RE: Age of Oblivion - my (hopefully) first full novel.
In the process of doing so, but I take a rather GRRMesque approach to my writing Tongue
Hopefully in a few weeks I'll have the first chapter up.
[Image: rySLj1k.png]

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#4
RE: Age of Oblivion - my (hopefully) first full novel.
Definitely post it when you're done. It got me to actually focus on only one thing for
a couple minutes, so that's a good sign c:
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#5
RE: Age of Oblivion - my (hopefully) first full novel.
Just a quick update - it will probably be some time before my next full entry, as I'm currently collaborating with a very good friend of mine on the world-building and lore-enriching of the story universe. It's extremely exciting (for me at least Tongue) as he has some delightfully twisted and creative ideas that I'm looking forward to implementing into the narrative.
So yeah...stay tuned if anyone's interested Big Grin
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#6
RE: Age of Oblivion - my (hopefully) first full novel.
This. Is. Awesome!

Great job Iro! You should definitely do more of this Big Grin
"Every luxury has a deep price. Every indulgence, a cosmic cost. Each fiber of pleasure you experience causes equivalent pain somewhere else. This is the first law of emodynamics [sic]. Joy can be neither created nor destroyed. The balance of happiness is constant.

Fact: Every time you eat a bite of cake, someone gets horsewhipped.

Facter: Every time two people kiss, an orphanage collapses.

Factest: Every time a baby is born, an innocent animal is severely mocked for its physical appearance. Don't be a pleasure hog. Your every smile is a dagger. Happiness is murder.

Vote "yes" on Proposition 1321. Think of some kids. Some kids."
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#7
RE: Age of Oblivion - my (hopefully) first full novel.
(August 13, 2015 at 5:43 pm)Lucanus Wrote: This. Is. Awesome!

Great job Iro! You should definitely do more of this Big Grin

Thanks Luc! I appreciate it. Big Grin
I've been working on it since college, about 4 years ago - but now I'm really able to build the story up through my collaborating. It's been my pet project for so long, and I really hope to publish it in a few years Smile
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#8
RE: Age of Oblivion - my (hopefully) first full novel.
Haha nice. I appreciate the courage needed to publicly show one's fiction writing, I find the idea daunting if I think of my own modest unpublished efforts. Very readable and raising sufficiently many questions that I want resolved as a reader.

Can I pick nits? Sometimes I feel the adjectives are slightly overdone. Shimmering haze, ominous shadow, etc... You are already doing enough for setting the mood by telling what is going on, less would be more in that department for my taste. Overdoing the adjectives can lend a pulpy tone to the prose.Usually, the recommendation is to use adjectives and adverbs sparingly and to instead employ stronger nouns and verbs which render additional modifiers unnecessary.

Concerning my field of expertise (geometry of higher dimensions) I wouldn't call it "translating to the higher geometries of space time", that sounds odd. How about translate along higher dimensions, that would actually make some technical sense. But that's just me Smile
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition

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#9
RE: Age of Oblivion - my (hopefully) first full novel.
(August 13, 2015 at 6:26 pm)Alex K Wrote: Haha nice. I appreciate the courage needed to publicly show one's fiction writing. Very readable and raising sufficiently many questions that I want resolved as a reader.

Can I pick nits? Sometimes I feel the adjectives are slightly overdone. Shimmering haze, ominous shadow, etc... You are already doing enough for setting the mood by telling what is going on, less would be more in that department for my taste. Overdoing the adjectives can lend a slightly pulpy tone to the prose.Usually, the recommendation is to use adjectives and adverbs sparingly and to instead employ stronger nouns and verbs.

Concerning my field of expertise (geometry of higher dimensions) I wouldn't call it "higher geometries".

Thanks for the advice, I will take it on board. To be honest this prologue is about a year old now, and my writing may have improved a notch. Perhaps a minor rewrite is in order.

As to the technobabble...any suggestions for what you might say instead? I'm playing fast and loose with physics as it is, but a crumb of legitimacy could be useful Tongue
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#10
RE: Age of Oblivion - my (hopefully) first full novel.
See edit. You can always ask me to provide something superficially sensible in the physics babble department based on what is supposed to be happening.
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition

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