Middle child...middle finger?

[Athene]

Birth order: Anything to it?
Not from any sort of scientific standpoint- just from your personal observations and experiences.
As a kid, I suspected that my parents tolerated much less out of me, than they did from their Golden Boy or Sweet Baby. As I grew into adolescence it became obvious...yes, indeed. I was in the middle and I was Trouble (aka The Villain).

I actually enjoy this role as an adult, since it gives me the freedom to speak my mind with barely more than a disapproving look much of the time. When you're the Villain, so it's to be expected...it's actually kind of liberating. 

If asked, my mother will tell me  this middle child bullshit is all in my mind, of course.
But, come on...what else is she gonna say?

[abaris]

I'm not a middle child, I'm the younger one. Unexpected, since my parents were already 40 when I was born. My brother is 15 years my senior. But I experienced the polar opposite of you. My brother laid the groundworks by partying through the 60ies. It was much easier for me in the 70ies, I suppose.

[Longhorn]

I'm the younger of two children. The sickly one, so I got cut slack. But also the invisible one, as soon as The Firstborn enters the room, I only appear on the radar if dishes need to be washed.

My brother probably sees me as some sort of child prodigy in everyone's eyes, because I got better grades than him and always one up him in school. Probably why he used to make me feel like shit all the time ._.

[Jenny A]

There were only two of us, my brother and I.  I only have two girls.  No middle at all.  But yes there are differences.  My parents were more relaxed with my brother.  I pushed to do things, he got the benefit.  I tried for that not to be the case with our girls, but none the less it is.  Your parenting style changes as you parent and so there are differences.

[brewer]

Definitely. My sis and I joke about it all the time now. As the Golden child I got more and got away with more.

That she was a no talent hack and little wanna be had no bearing what so ever.

[Jenny A]

I'm the younger of two children. The sickly one, so I got cut slack. But also the invisible one, as soon as The Firstborn enters the room, I only appear on the radar if dishes need to be washed.

My brother probably sees me as some sort of child prodigy in everyone's eyes, because I got better grades than him and always one up him in school. Probably why he used to make me feel like shit all the time ._.

My younger brother actually was/is exceptionally bright.  I think he passed me up when I was five or six and he was two or three.  Nothing's changed since.  Well, except he's at least a little cognizant that intellectual arrogance can get you into trouble.

[vorlon13]

I'm the oldest.

I like guys that are the oldest too.

[MTL]

I am the oldest of three girls.

BOTH of my parents were middle children, themselves...from families of three children.

Also, BOTH of my parents had an abusive mother,
and BOTH had a bully for an older sibling,
and BOTH had a golden child for a younger sibling.

Dad never seemed to blame me for being the oldest, even though HIS older brother was also a bully.


But my Mom is another story.

This is pretty effed-up....follow the pattern:

When Mom was growing up,
her mother (my grandma) and her older sister (my aunt)
teamed-up and picked on her  (my Mom)....the middle child.

Nowadays,
it is she, my mother, and my middle sister,
who team-up against me....the eldest child.

Mom basically projects her resentment of her own older sister onto me...her own eldest daughter;
whilst shamelessly favouring her own middle child....my sister, whom she feels she identifies with.



To make it still more complicated, see if you can follow this:

My grandmother never got over the loss of her own mother (my great-grandmother),
who was very nurturing and doting toward my grandmother...but also bossy and controlling.

As a result, my grandmother not only favoured her eldest daughter (my aunt),
....and GROOMED my Aunt to act as a mother to the younger children (my mother, and my uncle)...

but she also groomed my Aunt to replace HER OWN DECEASED MOTHER (my great-grandmother).

(nowadays my Aunt is like a mother to my Grandmother)

NOTE:  Whereas my Great-Grandmother was doting to my Grandmother,
my Grandmother, on the other hand, constantly SNUBBED my own Mother.

My mother has fruitlessly spent her life trying to earn my grandmother's love, approval, and acceptance,
....only to see her older sister (my aunt) always be favoured.

Mom never managed to free herself of the hold my grandmother had over her.

So now, this is the second pattern, about to repeat:

My grandmother is now on her way out (she is in her 90s);


So NOW Mom is GROOMING MY SISTER, to replace my Grandmother

much in the way my Grandmother groomed my Aunt, to replace my Great-Grandmother.

(This is because my sister is JUST LIKE MY GRANDMOTHER....
insecure, malicious, entitled, impossible to please, manipulative...

...but that is all Mom has ever known, from my Grandmother.
so Mom can't stand the idea of being without it...she's addicted.

...much in the way that my Aunt reminds my Grandmother of my Great-Grandmother:
nurturing and doting, but also bossy and domineering).


The sad irony is that I have helped Mom for 10 years...but I still don't have her respect;

whereas my sister has always taken horrendous advantage of Mom
...but Mom can't see it...just like with Grandma.

So it is ME who more truly fills the same role my mother had, growing up,
but because of birth order, my mom doesn't see it.



Today, there is much acrimony between my middle sister and I.

Like my Grandmother, my sister enjoys having Mom constantly scrambling for her approval,
....and she resents my existence, entirely.

She has repeatedly stated that she feels that I  am the favourite
...but never provides any supporting examples as to why she feels this way.

sorry to air all the dirty laundry.  But there you have it.  Birth Order can fuck you up.

[Exian]

There's just the two of us. My sister is two years older...or three. I don't know. My sister is the weird one, and I'm the weird one. We get it from Dad, while mom serves as the anchor point, assuring us we're weird by being normal. We all get along and avoid fights like the plague. Works pretty well.

[Regina]

There's two of us in my family.

I tend to be "the good one" while my brother is the trouble maker. However, my parents have tried their utmost hardest not to favour one over the other.

I was always easier to like though