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RE: Middle child...middle finger?
September 12, 2015 at 9:58 pm
I think the issue of birth order is rather variable as far as how parents react to it. And there is also the issue of how boys and girls are typically treated differently, so that is also part of the mix.
I was the youngest, and my mother had to protect me from my elder siblings when I was young. They viewed that as special treatment, but any parent who wants all of their children to survive to adulthood needs to prevent the older ones from killing the younger ones.
My mother tried very hard to be very fair to all of us. She slightly changed her mind over time about how it is best to raise children, and so that occasionally (though not commonly) made her treat us differently at a particular age. But changing one's mind about what age someone can do something is not the same as preferring one child to the other. My mother always said she loved us all equally, and the fact that everyone sometimes felt that others got preferential treatment seems to support the idea that she really was being pretty fair with us.
Looking back on it all, I do not think it is possible to demonstrate any bias from my mother, nor do I recall any of that from my father, as far as birth order is concerned.
I think a lot of the ideas that people have on this subject are due to their point of view, in that they saw what it was like to be in their own position, but did not see all of the details of what it was like to be in another position.
And, of course, there is the issue that many people treat boys and girls differently, regardless of birth order, and the fact that some people have preferences for one child or another that has nothing to do with birth order, but can affect how one might interpret what is going on. Some children are more obnoxious than others, and so, if one is not careful, one may convey the fact that one likes that child less, regardless of where that child was in the birth order. The child, though, might misinterpret that as having to do with birth order. And, of course, bad parents may prefer bad children who resemble them, so there can be a prejudice against the better ones. It can go either way, depending on the parents. But if your parents treated their children differently, it may have nothing whatever to do with birth order. It may have to do with differences in sex, differences in personality, differences in abilities, or other differences between you. Assuming that it must all be birth order is not a good assumption.
"A wise man ... proportions his belief to the evidence."
— David Hume, An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding, Section X, Part I.
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RE: Middle child...middle finger?
September 12, 2015 at 10:20 pm
(September 12, 2015 at 9:31 pm)BrokenQuill92 Wrote: Okay being the youngest and only girl and being ill half the time I will admit my parents let me get away with murder. Though I'm a princess through and through it did get a little lonely being confined to the nursery. My brother and stepbrothers have twelve years on me. So I tend to be evil one who almost never got caught and I did I cried my way out of trouble. When my teen years hit me and mom didn't do so well, she thought daddy spoiled me. We were forever at it! I was a door slamming and foot stomping, psuedo goth! Get her! Tie her up! Present her as a perfect sacrifice on behalf all of the precious little babies that have gotten away with murder. Only then can the Gods be sated!
BrokenQuill, you got any ceremonial/sacrificial clothes you can wear?If not, we may have stop at JC Penney's. Hehe!
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RE: Middle child...middle finger?
September 12, 2015 at 10:27 pm
(September 12, 2015 at 10:20 pm)Thena323 Wrote: (September 12, 2015 at 9:31 pm)BrokenQuill92 Wrote: Okay being the youngest and only girl and being ill half the time I will admit my parents let me get away with murder. Though I'm a princess through and through it did get a little lonely being confined to the nursery. My brother and stepbrothers have twelve years on me. So I tend to be evil one who almost never got caught and I did I cried my way out of trouble. When my teen years hit me and mom didn't do so well, she thought daddy spoiled me. We were forever at it! I was a door slamming and foot stomping, psuedo goth! Get her! Tie her up! Present her as a perfect sacrifice on behalf all of the precious little babies that have gotten away with murder. Only then can the Gods be sated!
BrokenQuill, you got any ceremonial/sacrificial clothes you can wear?If not, we may have stop at JC Penney's. Hehe!
I have a white dress with floaty sleeves
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RE: Middle child...middle finger?
September 12, 2015 at 10:35 pm
(September 12, 2015 at 10:27 pm)BrokenQuill92 Wrote: (September 12, 2015 at 10:20 pm)Thena323 Wrote: Get her! Tie her up! Present her as a perfect sacrifice on behalf all of the precious little babies that have gotten away with murder. Only then can the Gods be sated!
BrokenQuill, you got any ceremonial/sacrificial clothes you can wear?If not, we may have stop at JC Penney's. Hehe!
I have a white dress with floaty sleeves Sweet! Wear it, but bring a change of clothes. Turns out the ceremony only involves a little light slapping. We're going to Applebee's afterwards.
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RE: Middle child...middle finger?
September 13, 2015 at 12:58 am
(September 12, 2015 at 10:35 pm)Thena323 Wrote: (September 12, 2015 at 10:27 pm)BrokenQuill92 Wrote: I have a white dress with floaty sleeves Sweet! Wear it, but bring a change of clothes. Turns out the ceremony only involves a little light slapping. We're going to Applebee's afterwards.
Oh goody I get to be spanked and fed!
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RE: Middle child...middle finger?
September 13, 2015 at 1:42 am
I'm another only child, no brothers or sisters.
I can see no positives at all in having no brothers and sisters. First of all I had no male peers around me, all my cousins are female except for one male who's gay.
I used to feel like a bit of a freak because all my cousins would know all the dance moves and lyrics to the spice girls and when they would sing and dance I'd just be stood there thinking what the fuck is this shit.
I think it must help a person be sociable and less socially anxious if they have people around them constantly and I think I had way too much thinking time on my hands when I was bored which made me depressed.
Also I used to fucking envy my friend so much who had a brother for so many reasons, his brother had cool friends who would automatically become his friends by default, his brothers were both older geeks who had jobs and money and so his household was like a computer console paradise, he had the fastest PC the playstation as soon as it came out and the N64, ontop of this he would be able to play multiplayer games all the time with his brother and his brothers friends.
He would just take it all for granted though, I remember pretty much jumping out of my skin with excitement about the idea of playing Mario party with him his brother and his brothers friend and eating take away food, there was actually one time when I got back home from his house that I just burst into tears because I thought fuck, back to being bored again.
I know having your own space is good and it's not all sunshine and rainbows having a brother or sister but fucking hell I remember a lot of boredom from my Childhood, mainly at night time which is why when I got introduced to chatrooms and the internet it was like a fish being introduced to water, I only had a dial up connection though and limited time allowance. I suppose now kids have Call of Duty online and broadband these days so maybe being an only child isn't as bad.
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RE: Middle child...middle finger?
September 14, 2015 at 2:19 pm
You keep coming up with unique threads Thena. Nice job 
I have one younger brother. I don’t feel as if there was a favorite, but I always got blamed for everything that my brother did + things that I did. He never got in trouble, I was the one who always was getting ridiculed or lectured. My little brother used to fake getting hurt all the time, just to see me get in trouble, and after a while, my parents caught on, and still, for years, I would be blamed for anything that was broken or what have you. He could literally get away with everything. There were just a few things that I wanted to be off limits in my room, and told him to never mess with or go through, and he would, and he’d lie about it, and my parents (mostly my dad was the one home all the time) wouldn’t do anything about it. Now, my brother and I have a great relationship, but if I’m a parent I hope that I’m as aware and open as I am now to seeing these things. I want to have the best relationship with my kids as possibly can, if that ever happens.
Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.' -Isaac Asimov-
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RE: Middle child...middle finger?
September 14, 2015 at 2:45 pm
(September 13, 2015 at 1:42 am)paulpablo Wrote: I can see no positives at all in having no brothers and sisters.
Parents not having to pay for multiple sets of combination of: school clothes/meals/college tuition/vaccinations/haircuts/birthday presents/shoes/games/club fees/diapers = nicer stuff/bigger house, at least in the abstract.
I mean, this is no consolation emotionally. But, I think it's fair to say that this is a net positive.
How will we know, when the morning comes, we are still human? - 2D
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RE: Middle child...middle finger?
September 14, 2015 at 10:07 pm
(September 14, 2015 at 2:19 pm)Salacious B. Crumb Wrote: You keep coming up with unique threads Thena. Nice job
I have one younger brother. I don’t feel as if there was a favorite, but I always got blamed for everything that my brother did + things that I did. He never got in trouble, I was the one who always was getting ridiculed or lectured. My little brother used to fake getting hurt all the time, just to see me get in trouble, and after a while, my parents caught on, and still, for years, I would be blamed for anything that was broken or what have you. He could literally get away with everything. There were just a few things that I wanted to be off limits in my room, and told him to never mess with or go through, and he would, and he’d lie about it, and my parents (mostly my dad was the one home all the time) wouldn’t do anything about it. Now, my brother and I have a great relationship, but if I’m a parent I hope that I’m as aware and open as I am now to seeing these things. I want to have the best relationship with my kids as possibly can, if that ever happens.
I feel your pain, Sal. Oldest of three girls, here. Blamed for everything, and punished more severely.
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