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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Off Topic v
Would you?

Poll: Would you continue to read?
This poll is closed.
Yes
65.22%
 15 65.22%
No
34.78%
 8 34.78%
Total 23 vote(s) 100%
* You voted for this item. [Show Results]

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Would you?
Paraselene Offline Donators
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#1
Would you?
October 10, 2015 at 11:50 pm
If this was the opening sentence to a novel, would you continue reading?

"She killed the infant shorty after giving birth to it."
"What a little moonlight can do." ~ Billie Holiday
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Athene Offline Donators
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#2
RE: Would you?
October 11, 2015 at 12:23 am
Possibly. It's a perfectly good opening sentence, as far as these things go.
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Paraselene Offline Donators
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#3
RE: Would you?
October 11, 2015 at 12:26 am
I just know that a great opening sentence is what catches one's interest. I keep trying and erasing. I think this is the route I want to go, though.
"What a little moonlight can do." ~ Billie Holiday
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Athene Offline Donators
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#4
RE: Would you?
October 11, 2015 at 12:34 am (This post was last modified: October 11, 2015 at 12:35 am by Athene.)
An opening sentence that's jarring is good. It gets the reader's attention right away...makes them feel they won't have to wade through the usual boring set-up details to get to the action.

I'd go with it, too.
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T.J. Offline
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#5
RE: Would you?
October 11, 2015 at 12:49 am
Yes. Now I want to know why she killed the infant!
[Image: Ip4ZfOm.png]
TJ's Reviews YouTube Channel!
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KUSA Offline
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#6
Would you?
October 11, 2015 at 12:57 am
(October 10, 2015 at 11:50 pm)Kitan Wrote: If this was the opening sentence to a novel, would you continue reading?

"She killed the infant shorty after giving birth to it."

No. Change it to this.
"She ate the infant alive shorty after giving birth to it. The shrieks and screams only fueled her hunger."
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Paraselene Offline Donators
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#7
RE: Would you?
October 11, 2015 at 12:58 am
Um, no xD
"What a little moonlight can do." ~ Billie Holiday
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Athene Offline Donators
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#8
RE: Would you?
October 11, 2015 at 1:04 am
(October 11, 2015 at 12:57 am)KUSA Wrote:
(October 10, 2015 at 11:50 pm)Kitan Wrote:


No. Change it to this.
"She ate the infant alive shorty after giving birth to it. The shrieks and screams only fueled her hunger."
This woman is clearly an atheist. Wink
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Paraselene Offline Donators
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#9
RE: Would you?
October 11, 2015 at 1:05 am
Don't get me wrong, my characters are always atheists in my novels, but no. xD
"What a little moonlight can do." ~ Billie Holiday
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Minimalist Offline Donators
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#10
RE: Would you?
October 11, 2015 at 1:44 am
Sure.  Sounds promising.
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Off Topic v
Would you?

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